Much like I watch Planet Earth to learn about endangered pandas, I watch Jersey Shore to learn about the elusive Guido. They are a species of their own, with large frosted tipped plumage, and strange mating rituals. They are also very territorial and shows of dominance are common. The point I’m trying to get across here is that Jersey Shore is a very educational show. The Guido lifestyle is very nuanced and there are certain rules they follow that most of us know nothing about, even after seeing “My New Haircut”.
I think there is a gene every person has that makes it impossible for them to look away from a train wreck, whether it is literal or metaphorical. That is the basic premise upon which all reality television is based off of. MTV has really taken this concept and ran with it with the series The Real World. Jersey Shore takes all of those Real World elements and adds in a volatile group of people in the form of Guidos, who aren’t exactly known for their empathy and diplomatic skills. Lots of people yell at each other and there are constantly egos colliding. The drama between people is non-stop from episode to episode, these people are ridiculous.
For those of you unschooled in the ways of the Guido, GTL stands for Gym Tan Laundry, the schedule for every Guido’s day. This is one of the deepest insights that Jersey Shore provides on the Guido lifestyle. Essentially everybody in the house is extremely materialistic and proud of it. The number one priority for every person on Jersey Shore is looking good and being the center of attention. The amount of effort these people put into their physical appearance is truly amazing. Their self centered attitude is what makes the show work, empathy has no place here.
Let’s get this out in the open, Mike AKA The Situation is a dick. He is a big time dick. At the same time he is hilarious. He is the kind of guy who has a comeback to everything anybody says, and often times that comeback is widely inappropriate. I think my favorite line in the show has been when Snooki asked for a roll and Mike told her she had enough already. That is when things at the table got awkward and I could not stop laughing. Mike is the kind of guy who is hilarious until you actually have to hang out with him, luckily my TV screen doesn’t let him through.
From the very first episode Snooki has been the definition of a train wreck. As I mentioned previously, for some reason we can’t look away from a train wreck. From the first night Snooki was the sloppiest of all the roommates. It doesn’t help that she prompted the drinking and she is only slightly larger than a chihuahua. That is just a bad combination. The end result was a passed out Snooki who got left at home when everybody else went out. She also resembles a chihuahua in the fact that she yaps constantly. That bulldog mouth was not backed up by her puppy body which earned her a punch in the mouth in one episode. I in no way condone violence against women, but I couldn’t look away. There are those train wrecks.
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