As told to me by the ghosts of Hollywood past, present and future.
1) Past – The Wolfman is not Underworld
Is it just me or did the monster movies just take a huge step backwards? Granted the trailers don’t show you that much, but doesn’t it feel like the wolfman in Wolfman is a little B-movie? I mean, the lycans in Underworld were way more monstrous looking. The werewolf in Wolfman looks like your hairy ass uncle in cheap holloween makeup.
And if that wasn’t bad enough it appears the best thing about that movie is Anthony Hopkin’s. Is there anything interesting about Wolfman’s plot or visuals? Does anything happen in Wolfman other than ‘werewolf eats people’? I’ll pass.
2) Present – Avatar is no longer #1
Ding Dong! The Witch is dead. Which old Witch? The Bluish Witch!
Ding Dong! The Bluish Witch is dead.
Oh wait…they’re #2? And still made 22 million dollars over Super Bowl weekend? We should all be so dead.
3) Future – Stretch Armstrong is going to kill the toy movie genre.
And I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. A Transformers movie made a lot of sense. A G.I. Joe movie was expected. A Stretch Armstrong movie is beyond pushing it. Sure, a lot of people played with the toy for hours on end, but we all played Monopoly too, does that mean it’d make a good movie? What’s that? Oh…
…
Still, who the hell cares about Stretch Armstrong? Or a better question: Who’d go see a movie about Mr. Fantastic? How about a young Mr. Fantastic with killer abs? didn’t think so.
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