Look, no one ever thought the President of the United State would be cast as a black man, but it happened. I mean thinking about how great movies were updated with black actors, and how great characters were upgraded to black characters, maybe it’s time to open the door for a lot of other taboo characters. These are the five that I’d vote for.
5) Robin Hood
Why it’s time: It’s not like people would have a hard time believing that black people steal. Hey, I’m just being honest. I know that black people may not have been around during medieval times (what, do I look like a Historian to you?), but still, can we at least get a variation of Robin Hood? Maybe an modern version? This story has to resonate in the hood. It has to. Hood is his name for crying out loud!
4) Wonder Woman
Why it’s time: She came from the amazon. A South American country. Why is Wonder Woman white in the first place? There were slaves sent to South America, maybe one of them married an amazon, or was forced to serve an amazon sexually…I don’t know how that whole thing thing works. But the point is it’s toally believable for Wonder Woman to be black, more-so than for her to be Caucasian. I’m just saying.
3) Terminator
Why it’s time: He’s a freaking robot from the future. I know there are black people in the future. Are we not good enough to have a Terminator molded after us? Sam Worthington had a Terminator modeled after him. Who the hell is he? I know they are doing more Terminator movies. They better do them right. By definitions robots are made from interchangeable parts, so no one has to get mad that it’s not Arnold Schwarzenegger.
2) James Bond
Why it’s time: It’s not like there is a certain image that comes to mind when you think James Bond. Everybody and their mother has been cast as James Bond. None of them look a like. Clearly there is a broad standard in the casting. Why can’t he be black? African-Americans live in England…but then I guess they’d be African-Englanders…whatever…you know what I mean. Anyway, maybe James Bond was always black and the slick haired Caucasian look was just a disguise. Maybe he was light skin. I don’t care. Sell it.
1) Tarzan
Why it’s time: Look, Tarzan is a muscle-bound, incredibly athletic and uncivilized dude swinging through the jungle on vines with the IQ of a grapefruit and has dark skin and woolly hair…
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Black people can’t have this one? That’s exactly what black people are notoriously accused of being! If I read that description at a Klan meeting or even a Congressional hearing they’d accuse this suspect of being a black man. And Tarzan spends all his time chasing a white woman…are you hearing me?
P.S. – the art/photos were gathered via the internet from some pretty imaginative people who apparently have an Obama obsession. Nice work though.
Beaze and all his crazy antics, featured articles and random thoughts are now on twitter @Beazewriter
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