Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has gone from football player, to professional wrestler, to action movie star, to Disney poster boy. This is quite a transformation, from one of the manliest men to walk this earth to the star of children’s movies. It is time for us to look over a timeline of Dwayne Johnson’s movies and see where things went wrong.
Dwayne Johnson was still going by “The Rock” back when The Scorpion King came out. It was here where he established himself as the perfect lead in poorly written action movies. Studios were given an easy recipe for success: “The Rock” – Shirt + Ass Kicking + Scantily Clad Female Co-Star = Success.
In The Rundown some actual comedic relief was brought to the movie in the form of Sean William Scott. His playful jackassery played off well with Dwayne Johnson’s serious demeanor. Rosario Dawson made for some good eye candy and Christopher Walken was creepy as hell. With all these elements combined, The Rundown was an entertaining action movie.
In Walking Tall, Sean William Scott’s jackassery was replaced by the original Jackass, Johnny Knoxville. The comic relief was once again entertaining, and Dwayne Johnson smashed the hell out of everything with a hunk of wood. This was the peak of Dwayne Johnson’s action movie career. Things began to go downhill after this.
Dwayne Johnson played Elliot Wilhelm in Be Cool, and while he wasn’t a main character he was definitely an entertaining one. There is just something supremely entertaining about watching a man who could rip you in half with his bare hands prance around as a very flamboyant homosexual. That and the fact that Johnson stilled kicked some ass in this movie made this one of his most entertaing roles.
Doom was definitely a step in the wrong direction, and Dwayne Johnson has admitted it. Doom was entertaining when you were a little drunk or something, but most people could not stand this movie. Even with Johnson putting on a good performance as far as ass kicking goes, and even being the villain for once, this movie could not be saved. Perhaps that is why he moved away from action movies into the realm of family friendly Disney movies.
Gridiron Gang was the first time in a long time where Dwayne Johnson was not actively beating people to death. Instead he was mentoring young men to succeed in football and in life. A very touching notion, and the movie itself was pretty good. It makes sense that with his football and wrestling background that Dwayne Johnson would make at least a few sports movies.
This is not what I was talking about when I said it was logical for Dwayne Johnson to make sports movies. This is not a real sports movie. This is a touchy-feely-family-is-the-only-thing-that-is-important-movie. I can appreciate the message, but I would prefer it to be delivered with Dwayne Johnson cracking more skulls. Watching his less than adequate parenting skills is not entertainment. I mean seriously, somebody would have taken that kid away from him after the first week.
And again we see Dwayne Johnson play second fiddle to some kids. These kids have magical powers or something. Dwayne Johnson has gigantic biceps. He shouldn’t be running around with these kids, he should be finding the bad guys and punching them in the face. What happened to the days when he would pull out the People’s Elbow to destroy his enemies? It didn’t seem like he could get any lower than this.
I will admit I haven’t seen this movie. I probably won’t either. The poster has Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson with little Tooth Fairy wings. This isn’t even an entertaining Elliot Wilhelm fairy either. The only way I can see this movie being saved is if Dwayne Johnson grows pterodactyl wings and rips the teeth straight out from people’s skulls. Those are the kinds of movies Dwayne Johnson was made for, manly movies. We can only hope he returns to them soon.
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