Humor District

To guys the L Word in principle sounds like the greatest show on earth. Hot lesbians getting sloppy and having sex willy-nilly all over the place. Awesome. Watch an episode and you’ll see the sex happens few and far between and the show is quite frankly, and it pains me to say this, fucking boring. Luckily for you and I MadeMen got their resident lesbian and L Word fangirl, Gabriel, in to give us a run down of the hottest L Word scenes to ever grace our screens. However what she did forget to do is complement her post with relevant videos. You’re welcome. by the way. Anyways over to Gabriel:

When considering girl-on-girl action, nothing is sexier than these 5 hottest “The L Word” scenes. These scenes feature the hot ladies of the Showtime hit “The L Word” showing off their best assets. Many of the scenes leave nothing to the imagination, while some leave everything to it. Regardless of the setting, each of these scenes left a blazing memory with its viewers as being amongst the hottest of the “The L Word” scenes.

1. Bette and Candace, season one.

This jail scene has been listed by several sites as one of the hottest scenes in spite of the lack of physical contact. Bette and Candace show just how far your mind can take you when oral contact is all you have.

2. Jenny and Carmen, season two.

Jenny and Carmen take the concept of water play to the next level in this steamy season two scene. Even if you are not into the kink yourself, you cannot help but enjoy these two women living their own special water fetish. It’s no wonder that this scene is listed as one of the top 5 hottest.

Place holder video of Jenny & Carmen getting it on in various scenes which will be replaced with the elusive water fetish scene Gabriel doth speaketh of.

3. Jenny and Nikky, season five.

One of the very first scenes of its kind outside of the adult movie industry. The use of girl-on-girl, plus a strap-on, is amazingly well done in this top scene. The scene leaves nothing to the imagination, but that really doesn’t hurt anything. This brings a whole new twist to girl-on-girl action.

4. Shane and Carmen, season two finale.

The season two finale features Shane and Cameron giving the fans just what they wanted and needed for two seasons. It is the perfect anticipation builder and a no-brainer for the top 5 hottest “The L Word” scenes.

5. Marina and Jenny, season one.

Let the cheating begin! After four years of happily-ever-after, Jenny finally decides that Marina is just the person to break that cycle. Their hot scene and chemistry-heavy build up is simply astounding and a sure topper for this top five list.

Popularity: 15% [?]

It has already been brought up that the Street Sharks were very similar to the Ninja Turtles. Both shows featured four mutated brothers teaming up to fight crime. The question arises, which team was cooler. On one side you have man-sharks that can bite their way through a horde of criminals, while on the other side there are turtles who have learned the way of ninjutsu from a rat. Both seem pretty solidly stacked, so we will divide this competition into a series of categories. Whichever team that wins the most categories will be named the victor. Let’s get this party started.

Origins

Street Sharks: The Street Sharks came into being when an evil scientist experiments on 4 brothers with a genetic manipulator device. The scientist wanted to turn everyone into mindless mutants so he could take over and avoid crowds at movie theaters. This immediately gave the Street Sharks a villain and a purpose. They sent the rest of the series preventing the scientist from turning everyone into mutants while trying to revert to their human form as well

Ninja Turtles: These 4 brothers started out as turtles rather than humans, but gained some human like qualities after they were soaked in a chemical known as ooze. This made the turtles grow and learn English as they were raised by a rat similarly transformed by the ooze. The rat taught them the way of the ninja, and the turtles began their career of crime-fighting while at the same time trying to solve the mystery of the ooze.

Winner: Ninja Turtles. Their origins presents not only bad guys but a mystery to solve, making the show’s beginning just a bit more interesting.

Fighting Prowess

Street Sharks: The Street Sharks didn’t have any formal training when it came to brawls, but they were part Shark. Sharks just never seem to have a problem destroying things. The fact that the Street Sharks could bite through steel and headbutt enemies made them formidable opponents indeed.

Ninja Turtles: Look at that first part. Ninja. These turtles have been trained in the arts of stealth and combat. They can sneak up on enemies and they have different battle strategies. Each of the 4 brothers also specializes in a different weapon, giving the turtles flexibility when it comes to how to take a villain out.

Winner: Ninja Turtles. Sorry, but there is just no beating a ninja in this category. The Street Sharks can kick some ass, but they only have one ungraceful way to do it. The Ninja Turtles practice for that kind of thing.

Radical Factor

Street Sharks: It is widely known that Street Sharks was an attempt at creating a “cool” product for kids, and back then sayings like “radical” were cool. Thus the Street Sharks enjoyed junk food and had catch phrases like “jawsome”! To our eight year old selves, things like that were totally radical. Some other things the Street Sharks had going for them were cool gadgets like jet packs, the fact one of them was a drummer, and, oh yeah, they were freaking sharks. That’s pretty radical.

Ninja Turtles: They are ninjas. They like pizza and skateboarding. There are still Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movies being made. All of this adds up to the Ninja Turtles being pretty awesome. The catchphrase “cowabunga” also didn’t have a pun in it, which makes it better. If they had been Ninja Cows that catchphrase would have been terrible.

Winner: Ninja Turtles. The two teams of brothers stack up pretty closely on the radical scale. The deciding factor was one of the Street Sharks, Streex, was known for his rollerblading ways. That’s not very radical, dude.

Winner: Ninja Turtles

In the end, an imitation can never stand up to the original. With that said, Street Sharks was still an awesome show. They don’t hold a candle to the Ninja Turtles though.

Popularity: 13% [?]

Making entertaining movies isn’t easy. As much as I’d say it is a simple matter of throwing in some robots and explosions, not everyone likes Michael Bay movies. The simple truth is most of the movies that get made are steaming piles of crap. Then there are those movies that go beyond bad and somehow find a way to become entertaining again. Some of these terrible movies can even be fun to watch multiple times. These are movies so bad that they’re good.

Plan 9 From Outer Space

Plan 9 From Outer Space isn’t just bad because it was made in 1959. It is just a completely ridiculous movie. The dialogue is terrible and the narrator can’t seem to decide whether these events happened in the future or the past.The story is humanity has created a weapon capable of destroying the universe, so aliens decide to stop them the only way they can. Zombie army. Yes, the aliens use their advanced technology to raise zombies to kill the humans. Fights break out and and fires just kind of pop up everywhere. Plan 9 From Outer Space has been called the worst movie ever made, but it is far too entertaining for that title.

Battlefield Earth

Battlefield Earth has been described as the Plan 9 From Outer Space of our generation. They both involve aliens, are terribly made, and I can’t stop laughing when I watch them, so I’d say it’s a fairly apt comparison. Scientology has never been a subject taken too seriously by most people. The explanation of Scientology sounds like a movie that would end up on this list. Thus it is no surprise that a movie based off a book by the father of Scientology, L. Ron Hubbard, and pushed forward by outspoken Scientologist John Travolta was absolutely insane. The acting is terrible, but at least we see John Travolta as a giant alien with dreadlocks. That alone makes the movie awesome.

Cabin Fever

Many old horror movies fall into the category of movies so bad they were good. Cabin Fever took note of this and created a horror movie that never once had us scared, but often had us laughing. Cabin Fever decided horror equated to college kids getting naked, having sex, and speaking awkwardly. Also there was a little kid who just bit everyone. At no point was the flesh eating virus even slightly intimidating, everyone was too distracted by the sex. The best part of the movie was the fact none of the main characters were that likable, and it was cause to celebrate every time one of them died.

Leprechaun: In the Hood

I guess the thinking behind this movie was everything becomes cooler if you give it an “urban” twist. That’s how a creature from Irish folklore got into a shootout with gangsta rappers. It makes perfect sense. Ice-T is a record producer who had the leprechaun trapped until three rappers released it and now they are trying to find a magic flute while aiming their guns sideways at each other. The best part is that some people find a leprechaun to be a scary creature. It’s the same thing as those Chucky movies, how is something that reaches up to your ankle scary? Just kick it across the room. With a title like Leprechaun in the Hood you can’t really expect a quality movie, you can, however, expect an entertaining one. That’s why they made the sequel Leprechaun: Back 2 Tha Hood. No, that was not a typo. Leprechauns just can’t spell.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise is known for being one the more well done horror franchises. That just makes Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation all the more hilarious. One of the crazier parts of the movie is that Leatherface has taken up cross-dressing pretty seriously. Now he chases kids down wearing a wig, makeup, a dress, and heels. I can’t decide if that makes him scarier or not. Texas Chainsaw Massacre: TNG took it a step further when it came to bad movie entertainment value. The two stars of the movie are none other than Matthew McConaughey and Renee Zellwegger. This was of course before either of them were big movie stars, but they are both easily recognizable. There is possibly nothing more entertaining than seeing a big star in a terrible role before they were big. The things they had to do for fame.

Popularity: 3% [?]

Splice is an upcoming movie about two genetic engineers, Adrian Brody and Sarah Polley, who are trying to create some sort of hybrid creature. Presumably the successful creation of such a hybrid creature would have all sorts of medicinal benefits or something. It is just a simple manner of mixing some DNA up and seeing what comes out. Nothing ever goes wrong in these movies where people try to play God.

Yes, that abomination is what they create. If that is what the future looks like I am giving up my search for immortality. I assume the rest of the movie is about how they regret ever creating that monstrosity as it attempts to eat their faces. The moral of this story is don’t mix human DNA with anything that is not cute and cuddly, and even then make sure it does not escape to prey on an unsuspecting populace. For those of you who didn’t get enough action/horror from the new A Nightmare on Elm Street, check out Splice on June 4th.

Popularity: 1% [?]