Humor District

Roman Polanski is a free man thanks to a monumental screw up from the US authorities, failing to provide confidential documents to the Swiss government. Haha, you catch the dude who’s been on the preverbial run for 33 years and then you fail to produce the relevant papers? Ridiculous. Maybe someone in the bureau is a fan of his work if you know what I mean, *hint* *hint* *win… OK whatever, you know what I mean.

Roman not giving a toss

Via the AP

The Swiss government declared renowned film director Roman Polanski a free man on Monday after rejecting a U.S. request to extradite him on a charge of having sex in 1977 with a 13-year-old girl.

The Swiss mostly blamed U.S. authorities for failing to provide confidential testimony about Polanski’s sentencing procedure in 1977-1978.

The stunning decision could end the United States’ three-decade pursuit of Polanski, unless he travels to another country that would be willing to apprehend him and weigh sending him to Los Angeles. France, where he has spent much of his time, does not extradite its own citizens, and the public scrutiny over Switzerland’s deliberations may dissuade other nations from making such a spectacular arrest.

The Swiss government said it had sought confidential testimony given on Jan. 26 by Roger Gunson, the Los Angeles attorney in charge of the original prosecution against Polanski. Washington rejected the request.

“Mr. Polanski can now move freely. Since 12:30 today he’s a free man,” Justice Minister Eveline Widmer-Schlumpf declared. more

Popularity: 1% [?]

Mick Jagger and Leonardo Dicaprio happened to be in the same executive suite during World Cup quarter final between Germany and Argentina in Cape Town. Check out Mick Jagger’s expression/disgust at Dicaprio’s Vuvuzela blowing attempt. Gold.

Proud of his German heritage, in 2008 Leonardo told German paper BILD: ‘Germany will always be my second home.’ and when asked about Jagger Dicaprio went on to say ‘Mick? Fuck that guy. Seriously, 50 Years of the “I can’t get no satisfaction” and when I give it him in buckets he’s all like “Shurt the furck urp Dicurprio”‘.

“Shurt the furck urp”

Chec

Popularity: 1% [?]

Many people think of the San Diego Comic Con as that place where fat guys dress up as Batman and look at each other’s comic book collections. This is only partly true. The San Diego Comic Con has grown far larger than a simple gathering of comic book fans, and has also grown to include types of media other than comic books. One of the biggest parts of the San Diego Comic Con these days is movie previews. Comic book movies have grown very popular, so producers use the San Diego Comic Con as a way to promote their movies before release. This means we get to see sneak peeks of movies and get some extra details on the production process. Here are some of the movies that will be featured, or we at least hope will be featured, at the San Diego Comic Con.

Megamind

Megamind is the latest DreamWorks production. This movie will answer the often asked question of what happens if a villain kills his heroic nemesis. With a cast including Will Ferrell, Jonah Hill, and Brad Pitt, Megamind is looking like it will be quite the entertaining movie. The first day of Comic Con features a panel dedicated to Megamind so we can expect some sneak peeks to be released. Maybe we will also find out why they changed the name of the movie from Oobermind to Megamind after they had released promotional materials.

The Green Hornet

We recently showed The Green Hornet trailer on here, so we can expect there to be a lot more Green Hornet news at Comic Con. I am personally hoping they show off the car used in the movie, a 1966 Imperial nicknamed Black Beauty. Expect another trailer to be released at Comic Con, giving us a better look at how Seth Rogen will handle the hero role. The trailer looks promising, but Comic Con will give us a better idea of what to expect from this movie.

Thor

It is no secret that Marvel is putting out movies featuring major heroes in order to make the big Avengers movie in the future. The Thor movie has been somewhat overshadowed by the Captain America movie, but Comic Con is sure to take a look at both. Chris Hemsworth will be playing the role of Thor, and so far we have just seen one picture of him in costume and no trailer. Hopefully Comic Con will fix that and give us plenty of information on the Norse God of Thunder. I would also like to see some information on Chris Evans and the Captain America movie, such as if Chris Evans will be cracking his usual jokes in this movie. Maybe Marvel will also explain why they like actors named Chris so much, I might have to get a name change.

Salt

San Diego Comic Con isn’t just about comics anymore, and as a result many movie studios bring special sneak peeks of their movies to the convention. One movie that will be featured is Angelina Jolie’s action thriller Salt. It will be interesting to see the Russian spy angle discussed, especially considering the fact the United States just found some real life Russian spies. A case of life imitating art indeed. More importantly, Angelina Jolie still looks super hot.

Deadpool

I don’t know how much Deadpool will be discussed at Comic Con, especially considering the fact that the star of Deadpool, Ryan Reynolds, will be busy promoting his role as Green Lantern over on the DC side of things. It is hard to imagine this movie project not being brought up at some point considering the support given by fans and Ryan Reynolds himself. Hopefully a production schedule will be released at Comic Con, but there is definitely no guarantee on that.

The Expendables

Another non-comic movie that will be featured at Comic Con is The Expendables. I really want to see another trailer for this movie, because it will be three minutes of ass kicking. I don’t care what the plot is, a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, and Jason Statham  is going to be awesome. This is definitely not going to be a movie for intellectuals, but it will be amazing nonetheless.

We here at HumorDistrict will definitely be keeping an eye on movie news coming from the San Diego Comic Con, so you can look forward to updates on all the movies discussed here and more.

Popularity: 10% [?]

It seems that the only time commercials are really talked about is during the Super Bowl. This makes sense, as most Super Bowl commercials are well done since 30 seconds of ad time costs a company more than the GNP of most countries. While that is the only time that commercials are widely talked about, there always seems to be a commercial out that is just absolutely hilarious. This is the commercial that will cause conversations to be paused until it is over. In some cases, these commercials are actually more entertaining than the shows they are interrupting. Let’s take a look at some recent commercials that did a good job making us want to buy their products, or at least laugh.

I’m on a Horse

Old Spice earned my customer loyalty with this commercial. They could sell me deodorant that made me smell like a pig farm and I would probably buy it, at least after a sales pitch like Isaiah Mustafa gives in this commercial. I feel like this commercial should come with a disclaimer, stating that using it will not give you magical abilities to fill an oyster with tickets that turn into diamonds. I know I was slightly disappointed when I put on that Old Spice and it only slightly improved my odor rather than making me rich. Seriously though, who could resist buying a product that will make you smell like Isaiah Mustafa?

Steve Nash Promotes Vitamin Water

Steve Nash is best known for being absolutely hilarious. I hear he is also a decent basketball player. He is most likely best known as the spokesman for Vitamin Water, he should definitely be in more of their television commercials. Unfortunately Vitamin Water usually has their commercial starring another decent basketball player, Lebron James of the (insert team here), playing on TV instead. I say we start a write in campaign to get more Steve Nash on TV, besides those 82 other times he’s on every year.

Captain Night Owl

Captain Morgan has been putting out a lot of entertaining commercials recently. One of the best has definitely been the commercial profiling Captain Night Owl. We all have that friend who considers 12:00 am – 2:00 am warm up time and really hits his stride at around 3:00 am. Captain Morgan just decided to portray that night owl as, well, an actual owl. There is something creepy yet hilarious about seeing a man-owl turn his head all the way around to check out a cutie.

Domino’s Oreo Pizza

By writing the header “Domino’s Oreo Pizza”, I have probably done just about all the marketing work necessary to get people to buy a pizza made out of Oreos. Domino’s decided that wasn’t enough, and went on to create a hilarious commercial. All guys remember the patchy facial hair that first grew in, all thin and pathetic looking and plaguing me to this day. This commercial feeds right into those early facial hair days and offers some reassuring words. The first line of “that’s not stuff, Meredith” also made me giggle. I have to thank my friend Dave for finding this commercial, he grows nice facial hair.

Egypt’s Weird Perception of Pandas

This is not a commercial that you will likely see in the United States. Nonetheless, it is one of the most entertaining commercials I have ever seen. It is for some Egyptian product called Panda Cheese. The name of the product is the most normal part of this commercial. I don’t really know how to describe this commercial other than it involves a nurse trying to give a patient Panda Cheese, the patient refusing, and the Panda being an asshole. Apparently Egypt isn’t so sad about Pandas being endangered.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Jude Law recently presented some good news in a recent interview, revealing that the Sherlock Holmes sequel will likely start shooting in October. Both Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr. were excellent as Watson and Holmes, and I am definitely looking to their on screen banter returning. The fact that this movie is being put on the fast track is actually more exciting than worrying for once.

Many times that a popular movie is put on the fast track, quality is sacrificed to quickly put out a new movie that many people are going to buy tickets for. I don’t think that will be the case with the Sherlock Holmes sequel for several reasons. First off, Guy Ritchie has a history of putting out very entertaining movies. From Snatch to RocknRolla, it seems like Ritchie doesn’t know how to do anything but put out good movies. Another reason the fast track process is not worrying is that the story is not as important. This might come as somewhat of a surprise saying the story isn’t what makes Sherlock Holmes. Even in the first movie, the story itself really wasn’t that great. It was enjoyable, but what made the movie so good was the interaction between Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law. Those two play off of each other so well that they really do make the movies themselves.

With that said, I am extremely confident that Guy Ritchie will make sure the story is decent, and Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law will remain as entertaining as ever. With shooting starting in October, expect the next installment of the Sherlock Holmes franchise to come out in 2011. I would also be surprised if this was the last mystery we saw Sherlock Holmes and Watson tackle.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Game shows are great. We get to watch people win large amounts of money over short periods of time using skills that are useless anywhere else, it’s basically the American dream. Plus we are all thinking that we could do better than the chump we are watching compete. Our desire to see people win is only surpassed by our desire to see them lose, and nowhere is that more true than in game shows featuring obstacle courses. It is humorous to us when somebody not only comes up short of the prize but also ends up muddy and a little beat up. That is why game shows featuring obstacle courses are the best of the best. I suppose that makes the following shows the best of the best of the best.

Wipeout

Wipeout is the type of obstacle course that people watch and think, “hey, I could actually do that”. Fortunately for viewers, most people actually can’t do that. The show isn’t called Wipeout for nothing, and the contestants who fall short are most often far more entertaining than those who complete the course successfully. The fact that the show’s fitness requirement seems to be somewhere between beached whale and gelatinous blob definitely adds to the humor. If none of that catches your attention, one of the hosts, Jill Wagner, is pretty easy on the eyes. Enjoy the picture of her to make up for the music in the Wipeout video clip.

MXC

MXC or Most Extreme Elimination Challenge was the funniest obstacle course show ever. We all know that everything strange ever has probably originated in Japan, and obstacle course game shows are no exception as proven with obstacles like muddy balls, where contestants stand in a mud pit and have to catch a soccer ball that has been launched high in the air. In all fairness the name muddy balls was given by the American producers who dubbed the old Japanese show Takeshi’s Castle, but I like to believe the original name was probably stranger. The best part of MXC was definitely the play by play and color commentary of Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano along with Kenny Blankenship’s Painful Eliminations.

Ninja Warrior

Ninja Warrior is basically the exact opposite of Wipeout. The general fitness level on Ninja Warrior ranges from Olympic athlete to teenager who gained superpowers through an irradiated spider bite. Another difference is the fact that the Ninja Warrior obstacle course isn’t one you watch and think “I would totally win”. You think “I could train for the next six months and maybe get past the first obstacle”. Here is the type of challenge you can expect from Ninja Warrior.

Fortunately Ninja Warrior isn’t all beastly men who conquer everything, and there is plenty of failure to be seen as well.

Unbeatable Banzuke

Remember when I said everything weird ever came from Japan? I think Unbeatable Banzuke strengthens that theory. Unbeatable Banzuke is an obstacle course geared towards one very specific talent, whether that talent is riding a unicycle or walking on your hands. The show isn’t called Unbeatable Banzuke for nothing though, and the combination of the oddly specific skill required along with the difficulty of the obstacle course provides for many failed attempts. Plus you can even laugh at the winners for being the best unicycle riders.

Legends of the Hidden Temple

Legends of the Hidden Temple was an old show on Nickelodeon that featured kids answering trivia questions and running through a series of physical challenges. While the physical challenges look far less challenging than they used to, it is still hilarious to see the little kids freak out when the Temple Guard pop out in front of them. That and Olmec is the most bad ass talking stone head ever. Just for the record, I would totally dominate Legends of the Hidden Temple.

Popularity: 4% [?]

Movies are a good way to escape from reality. After a long day we can pop Caddyshack into the DVD player and all our worries just melt away. That is why most movies focus on the happier things in life, such as seeing your enemies driven before you and hearing the lamentations of their women. Some movies prefer to hit us with a heavy dose of reality that remind us that we don’t always get that raise we want, the girls of our dreams don’t know our names, and sometimes we have to get friendly with a man named Big Ted to fuel our drug habits. These movies will leave you feeling pretty low after you watch them, but they are still great movies. If you haven’t seen them before, beware. There are some spoilers ahead. Spoilers that will make you cry.

Million Dollar Baby

I think most people could have told you that a movie about a woman who wants to make a living getting punched in the face would not end well. Still, the build up throughout the movie actually made us cheer for Hilary Swank as Clint Eastwood coached her from the corner. Unfortunately our initial feelings were correct as Hilary Swank’s character ends up as a paraplegic who tries to chew through her own tongue to kill herself. That and Clint Eastwood cries. It does not get much more depressing than that.

Requiem for a Dream

We recently spoke about Requiem for a Dream being the most effective drug deterrent system of all time. It is extremely depressing as all the characters suffer from drug addiction, causing their lives to go straight down the tubes. The most depressing character is Sara Goldfarb. She is the elderly mother of the main character Harry, and she is chosen to be on a game show in the beginning of the movie. Sara is a kindly lady, and decides she wants to fit into her nice dress for the game show and gets prescribed diet medicine. She becomes addicted to the medicine and begins to hallucinate, and doctors just keep giving her more pills until she is forced to undergo electroshock therapy. That’s why I never go to the doctor.

The Wrestler

Darren Aronofsky has a knack for depressing movies, as he directed Requiem for a Dream as well as The Wrestler. The Wrestler was a great movie the revamped Mickey Rourke’s career with his portrayal of Randy “The Ram” Robinson, a wrestler who used to be a big star. His career has caused him health problems due to steroid use, but, perhaps more depressingly, it has also ruined his relationship with his daughter. Just when he seems to be recapturing both his career and his daughter’s love, he screws it all up by banging a club slut instead of visiting his daughter and continuing to wrestle after a heart attack. It is a sad look into the life of a severely unhappy man.

Charly

Charly is an older movie based on the book Flowers for Algernon. The basic plot is that an experiment is performed on a mentally retarded man who can’t spell his own name that turns him into a super genius. With his increased intellect, Charlie learns his name is not spelled Charly, finds meaning in life, and also finds the love of his life. That’s when things go downhill as Charlie realizes the effects of the experiment are temporary and his IQ is dropping faster than a dead pigeon. He rejects an offer of proposal from his love and the movie ends with her watching Charlie playing on a playground, once again unable to spell his name.

12 Monkeys

In 12 Monkeys, Bruce Willis plays a convict from a virus ravaged future who is sent back in time to stop the virus from being released. He ends up in an insane asylum with Brad Pitt, who does a great job of being insane, and is also a prime suspect for releasing the virus. Will Bruce Willis be able to stop the release of the virus and save the future? No, he will not. He gets shot and killed right in front of his younger self and the future remains a virus ravaged hell hole.

I realize that reading about all these depressing movies can be somewhat depressing. That is why this post ends with an example of what is best in life. Enjoy.

Popularity: 4% [?]