Once you become a celebrity, people start paying very close attention to the things you do. People will write articles about your daily bowel movements if you are famous enough, and every rumor about your life will be turned into an exaggerated tabloid article that will be read by millions of people waiting to checkout in the grocery store. You can imagine the uproar caused when something actually interesting happens with a celebrity, such as a sex tape being released. I mean we all know celebrities probably get more action than anybody, internet writers excluded, but it is big news when there is video evidence of it. Maybe that is why some sex tapes are released. Not to be cynical, but a good sex tape brings up a celebrity’s name in the media and shows off their prowess leading to more sex tape opportunities. You devious celebrities!
Pamela Anderson is on a Boat
One of the first celebrity sex tapes to surface was one featuring actress Pamela Anderson and her ex-husband, Motley Crue’s Tommy Lee. The controversy this caused resulted in Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee being talked about frequently in the media, and got Tommy Lee’s man parts complimented. The benefits of having a sex tape were shown worldwide! Have you fallen out of the limelight? Do you have a new television show or movie coming out? All you have to do is be like Pam and Tommy and make a sex tape.
One Night in a Simple Life Promo
Speaking of using a sex tape to market a new show, it is interesting that Paris Hilton’s sex tape was leaked right before the premier of The Simple Life, a show about Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie being stuck up brats as they went to live with decent hard working Americans. Yeah, there were multiple seasons of The Simple Life, mostly because everybody had seen Paris Hilton naked and in night vision. It sure as hell couldn’t have been because people enjoyed that show, other wise I’ll just lose faith in humanity. Paris Hilton is still riding the waves caused by that sex tape to success today, her latest show featuring people competing to be her friend. Classy.
Screech? Is That You?
Saved by the Bell brought me many great memories during my childhood. A lot of those memories featured the goofy antics of the character Screech, played by Dustin Diamond. Those memories were all ruined when Dustin Diamond decided he wanted to get in on the whole celebrity sex tape thing. He thought having a sex tape featuring a threesome would make him big talk, but he made the mistake of admitting he wanted to release the sex tape just to get famous again. That sounded pretty pathetic, and people started ignoring his sex tape almost right away. He now serves as a lesson to other celebrities in how not to release a sex tape.
Lady Wrestlers Should Not Have Sex Tapes
I remember when wrestling was really popular. Men in tight underwear and elbow pads would pretend to beat the crap out of each other, and women who looked like men would pretend to beat the crap out of each other. Alright, that is a generalization, but it cannot be denied that female wrestler Chyna had more testosterone than an NFL middle linebacker. This did not make for a very appealing sex tape, two overly muscled people awkwardly grinding against each other is not what most people find entertaining. It did bring the sport of sweaty men in underwear and elbow pads groping each other back into the media spotlight though! Of course many people find that far more entertaining than Chyna’s sex tape.
Holy Crap, That is Mini-Me!
Te Austin Powers movies were hilarious, and a big part of that hilarity can be attributed to Verne Troyer, the actor who played Mini-Me. There is something inherently hilarious about little people, especially if you are a college age male, a fact that TLC has capitalized upon with their various shows about midgets. Unfortunately for Verne Troyer, people just knew him as Mini-Me and he soon began to fade into obscurity. His sex tape was then released, proving that a celebrity sex tape can be awkward, disgusting, and intriguing all at the same time and earned Troyer a spot on the reality series The Surreal Life. That little guy is moving up in the world, although the myths about Mini-Me being a tripod were dispelled.
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