Humor District

Halloween weekend saw the premier of the latest, and hopefully last, installment of the Saw franchise. Saw ended up being one of those franchises that never ends, each year saw a new Saw movie hitting the theaters. Saw is not the first movie franchise to go on and on and on. In fact, there have been many movie series that have lasted longer than Saw. When filmmakers see that people are willing to buy tickets to a movie, they will continue to churn out different versions of that movie until tickets no longer sell. At least some filmmakers put some thought into their sequels to keep the franchises running longer. Here are some of the most enduring movie franchises of all time.

Godzilla

This giant radioactive lizard has been terrorizing the people of Japan since 1954. Godzilla has starred in over 25 movies since then, but never failed to leave a trail of destruction in his wake. He has gone up against other monsters such as Mothra, King Kong, and Mechagodzilla. Basically, Godzilla has proved that Japan has a major monster infestation. While this franchise will never be accused of making high quality and thought provoking films, there is something about Godzilla that captures the imagination and is just plain entertaining. Who doesn’t enjoy watching a 60,000 ton modern day dinosaur who breathes radioactive fire go on a rampage? Even if it is just an obviously cardboard town that is being crushed. There is actually a new Godzilla movie in development for a 2012 release.

James Bond

While a giant radioactive lizard is pretty awesome, nothing can beat James Bond. He is the man that every man wants to be. Even the Old Spice guy, Isaiah Mustafa, wishes he was Agent 007. There have been some iconic actors as Bond, including Sean Connery, Roger Moore, and Pierce Brosnan. He had all the coolest gadgets in the movies, he could kick an insane amount of ass while sipping on a martini, and he got all of the girls. Who could ever forget the Bond girls throughout the franchise? When it comes down to it, James Bond is a man’s man who got to ride rocket powered snowmobiles off of cliffs and has never seen the inside of a cubicle. He has seen the inside of every woman he has met, though.

Star Trek

Star Trek is best known for being a ridiculously popular televisions series that created numerous spinoff shows. There have also been 11 Star Trek movies made, with a 12th in development. While nerds will always argue over whether Star Trek is superior to Star Wars, Star Trek definitely has the edge in the numbers department. The old movies were campy and basically centered around Captain Kirk yelling Khan and sexing up voluptuous alien women who apparently had fairly human anatomies. Alright, I admit I haven’t seen any of the first 10 Star Trek movies, but the most recent one, a franchise reboot, was outstanding and earned itself a sequel due out in 2012.

The Land Before Time

I don’t know about you, but I was dinosaur crazy when I was little. I could name more dinosaur species than my parents, and frequented the museum to look at the t-rex skeleton and make roaring sounds at adults. I also enjoyed cartoons immensely. When The Land Before Time series came out, I just about had an excitement induced aneurysm. Combining cartoons and adorable dinosaurs who have to team up to overcome diversity was a stroke of genius, and I know I made my parents go out and buy me the first 4 Land Before Time movies. Then I grew up, became less interested in dinosaurs and cartoons, sort of, and moved away from The Land Before Time. Well apparently little kids still like dinosaurs and cartoons, because there are 13 Land Before Time movies now. One of these days I will catch up on all of them.

Friday the 13th

Friday the 13th has chronicled the murderous exploits of Jason Voorhees for years. So far, Jason has been killing sexy teenagers for 12 movies, and has even gone up against another horror movie powerhouse, Freddy Krueger. Like pretty much every other horror movie character, Jason refuses to be killed. Drowning in a lake at camp while your counselors get it on really makes a guy hold a grudge. I’m not sure if it is the living embodiment of supernatural violence that is Jason Voorhees that keeps audiences coming back for new installments in the franchise, but my guess is the sexy, often decapitated, teenagers have something to do with that. Well, at least pre-decapitation they do.

Popularity: 7% [?]

Personally, I think the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise has been sliding since The Curse of the Black Pearl. One of the few things I found really enjoyable about the third installment was the casting choice of Keith Richards as Johnny Depp/Captain Jack Sparrow’s father. It takes a certain kind of man to spawn such an eccentric character as Captain Jack Sparrow, and Keith Richards is exactly that kind of man. For those of you who are unaware, Keith Richards is a legendary guitarist for The Rolling Stones. He is also quite legendary for his drug use, ranging from marijuana to heroin. This drug use probably got him the role as Captain Jack Sparrow’s father. He certainly looks like a dirty ass pirate who has never seen a decent meal in his life. The probable brain damage his drug use has caused also helps when portraying the father of a character as crazy as Sparrow. All in all, he was the perfect choice.

Now there are rumors that Disney is doing an about face and giving old Keith Richards the boot. It seems that the execs don’t want a known drug user to be involved with two of their family oriented movies, one is their limit. If they let him into the next movie they would obviously be sending the wrong message. Drudge Report says that this has to do with the release of Keith Richards’ new book, in which he explains how to do drugs safely. Disney does not want a book about doing drugs to be in any way connected to their movie, so they consider doing the thing that will bring the most attention on themselves and Keith Richards by abruptly cutting ties with him.

What really makes this interesting is the recent backlash about the cutting of Mel Gibson from The Hangover 2. Apparently there was some sort of cast uprising against Mel Gibson having a cameo in the movie because Mel sometimes has issues, loud drunken issues, with people of Jewish faith, women, and African Americans. On the other hand, they were fine with Mike Tyson, a convicted rapist, having a cameo. People called them hypocrites and looked past the fact that Mike Tyson has a very funny voice. How will people respond to Disney giving Keith Richards the boot after he has already been in a previous installment for the franchise? Will they rise up in anger? Lounge around in apathy? Nothing has been announced for sure about whether Richards will stay on the cast or not, but I will be curious to see what Disney does after word of this spreads.

Popularity: 6% [?]

There are some movies that have been so iconic that later generations of filmmakers have to make their own versions of the same movie. Most of the time, this does not work out very well. It seems that the magic of the original is often lost when people try to remake classic films. Expectations for the remakes are so high because of the beloved status of the original movies that it is almost impossible for those expectations to be met. On rare occasions the remakes actually do meet these expectations and can be considered to be on the same level as the originals. It looks like the Coen Brothers’ remake of True Grit might actually be on this level. Check out the True Grit trailer below.

Yeah, it looks pretty damn good. Here are 5 other remakes that compared favorably to their predecessors.

3:10 To Yuma

Like True Grit, 3:10 to Yuma was a remake of a classic western film. The star studded cast of Christian Bale and Russell Crowe gave some great performances. Christian Bale was great as a former soldier who has lost his foot and the respect of his son. While he can’t get his foot back, he tries to earn the respect of his son by escorting a dangerous criminal, Russell Crowe, to the train that will take him to prison. Russell Crowe manages to be believable as a ruthless criminal who improbably has a very strict moral code. It all added up to a great western movie for a new generation.

The Fly

The original The Fly was made way back in 1958. It was an astounding movie for the time, but when 1986 rolled around it was decided that The Fly needed a remake. Director David Cronenberg cast Jeff Goldblum as his eccentric scientist who tries to use transportation technology to woo Geena Davis. As usual, trying to impress a girl leads to disaster and ruin when a fly gets into Goldblum’s teleportation device, turning Jeff Goldblum into a man/fly hybrid that is unfortunately more fly than man. Since this was not a romantic comedy, the transformation led to horrifying events rather than quirky misunderstandings and audiences loved it.

Friday the 13th

Jason Vorhees is one of the most terrifying characters in modern cinema. There were numerous Jason movies made in the 80′s but they went down in quality and he eventually fell off the map. Around 2009, moviemakers decided that kids at camp were not filled with enough terror, so Friday the 13th was reborn. Jason came back with a vengeance, making up for all his lost time in killing sexy teenagers. The remake captured the walking specter of death that was Jason Vorhees perfectly and gave young campers a new reason to be homesick. At least there aren’t homicidal maniacs back there.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

The original Texas Chainsaw Massacre was one of the most iconic horror movies of all time. It has spawned many sequels, including a terrible one called Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation starring Matthew McConaughey and Renee Zelwegger. The 2003 remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre starring Jessica Biel was incredible. First of all, she looked damn good in it. That had to be said. The carnage that Leatherface inflicted was gory, disturbing, and awesome. Adding in fake police footage for the “based on true events” side of the movie was a great touch as well.

The Thing

The Thing is a remake of the classic movie, The Thing from Another World. The Thing is a far superior movie to The Thing from Another World, not least of all for shortening that bulky title. The suspense in The Thing was a work of masterfully created art. The audience was kept in suspense about the identity of the shape changing killer and every character was a suspect for most of the movie. The final reveal was shocking and horrifying as the true killer was revealed and the final battle for survival began. The Thing is not only one of the best remakes of all time, but one of the scariest movies as well.

Popularity: 6% [?]

When most people think of comic book or anime conventions, they think of hairy overweight men who are socially awkward and enjoy wearing costumes that make the people around them uncomfortable. While this is true of most conventions, they are also a place for people with similar interest to gather and discuss said interests like normal human beings who happen to be dressed like Klingons. There are also booth babes. So it comes as no surprise that indie film company Monkey Kingdom Productions has been working on a mockumentary following the convention scene. This movie, Con Artists, will give a new look at the world of conventions from the perspective of Tara Platt and Yuri Lowenthal, two well known anime voice actors best known for their work on Naruto. You will be able to see conventions from their viewpoint and count how many awkward male fans can build up the courage to actually say something to Tara Platt.

Con Artists also features appearances from some other big names on the convention circuit, such as Wil Wheaton, Vic Mignogna, and Aaron Douglas. Wil Wheaton, as you of course remember, was none other than Wesley Crusher on Star Trek: The Next Generation. That alone should tell you that Con Artists is going to be kind of a big deal. If you enjoy indie films, documentaries, or nerd stuff, then you will definitely want to check out Con Artists. You can learn more about the progress of the film at the Con Artists Twitter page and at the Monkey Kingdom Productions website.

Popularity: 2% [?]

Jackass 3D is coming out soon, and the trailer promises that the stunts will be more dangerous and outrageous than ever. It is kind of hard to imagine where the Jackass guys are going with their stunts, as they weren’t exactly tame before. If the preview of Steve-O getting launched into the air inside a port-a-potty is any indication, they are going to push the limits on all of their stunts as far as they possibly can. Luckily for us, we will get to watch their craziness in 3D. In honor of the new Jackass 3D movie, here are 5 of the most outrageous moments in Jackass history.

Steve-O Makes Great Shark Bait

This stunt went from crazy to flat out insane. It started with Steve-O attempting to jam a large fishing hook through his cheek. When he was unable to do it himself, Chris Pontius had to lend a helping hand in skewering his friend. Once the fishing hook was secure in Steve-O’s flesh, he jumped into the ocean. This spot of ocean is right where they had dumped chum to attract sharks. As you can see, Steve-O was the bait in this situation. The most intense moment was when Steve-O actually kicked a shark in the face, accidentally of course. He got back to the boat quickly after that close encounter.

Johnny Knoxville Flies to the Moon

If you ever try to ride on a homemade rocket, you have officially earned the title jackass. This is exactly what Johnny Knoxville did. The first clue that this might not be the best idea was when part of the rocket exploded by Knoxville’s side. Yes, that qualifies as a near death experience. Never one to be backed down by safety concerns, Johnny Knoxville proceeded to light the rocket up again, straddling it as it flew gloriously into the wild blue yonder. To his credit, he at least set it up so the rocket had a somewhat less deadly water landing.

Riot Control Takes Down Bam Margera

Embassies and other important buildings need to be well protected. That is why they are equipped with anti-riot devices that shoot out ball bearings at high velocity. These injure people to the point where they no longer pose a threat. Apparently that description made Bam Margera, Johnny Knoxville, and Ryan Dunn decide that it would be hilarious to be shot by such a device. Bam and Dunn donned protective masks, while Johnny Knoxville decided his hand would provide adequate protection. You know a stunt is crazy when it leaves Bam Margera crying like a little girl.

Penis Vs. Python

A man’s penis is one of if not the most prized possession he has. Dressing it like a mouse is one thing, but then sticking said penis mouse into a snake’s enclosure is a whole different level of insane. Chris Pontius did exactly this, and was somewhat amused when the snake lunged for the penis mouse. Things took a turn for the horrifyingly hilarious when the snake got a firm purchase on its prey. The penis mouse tried to escape from the snake’s habitat, but that tenacious little reptile would not let go. The ensuing expressions were priceless.

Bam’s Dick Farm

Bam Margera has quite a few tattoos, so it is not surprising that he would be cavalier about permanently marking his body. A brand is just an interesting choice for creating that permanent mark. What is even more interesting is that the brand was shaped like a dick, and Bam decided that the best place for a dick shaped brand was on his butt cheek. Unfortunately, Bam’s flinching and Ryan Dunn’s unsteady hand created a multitude of half formed dicks across Bam’s ass. It was a veritable dick farm. The worst part was Bam showing the clearly infected dick farm to his parents. Needless to say, his mother was not pleased.

Popularity: 7% [?]

Iron Sky is an independent film project by Blind Spot Pictures and Energia Productions, with support from 27 Films and New Holland Pictures. You could also support the creation of Iron Sky with donations, purchases, and volunteer work. Iron Sky is the kind of movie you would want to support, as the description is awesome with a little sprinkle of amazing. The premise of the movie is that some Nazis launched themselves to the dark side of the moon in 1945 and have been living there ever since. In the year 2018 the Nazis return to earth, more evil than ever! Who wouldn’t want to help this science fiction comedy reach DVD players everywhere?

It isn’t quite clear where the comedy is going to fit into the movie from the trailer, but there are plenty of ways to fit it in considering this is a movie about Nazis from the moon. I assume they are going to be in for a bit of a shock when they see the values of a 2018 world. What is really surprising is the quality of the trailer. The special effects seem to be up there as far as production values go. Really, the combination for a good movie is there. If you want to help support an indie movie that actually looks promising, you can buy “war bonds” to support Iron Sky here, or donate your time to the actual production of the movie here. Spread the word and make Iron Sky a reality.

Popularity: 2% [?]

The next installment in the Batman franchise has been creating a lot of buzz. This is mostly because nobody has any idea where Christopher Nolan is going to take it. The only things that can be said about the movie with any certainty are that Christian Bale will be Batman, Christopher Nolan will be directing, and at least some of the filming will be done in New Orleans. Other than that, it is pretty much just speculation at this point. The really big question at this point is what villain Batman will be facing off against. One thing is for sure, the next villain will have some big shoes to fill after Heath Ledger’s portrayal of  Joker.

Killer Croc

According to the creator of Kick-Ass, Mark Millar, Killer Croc is going to be Batman’s nemesis in the next movie. Mark Millar hinted on his Twitter account that he had insider information on who the villain was going to be, and that the filming location of New Orleans was very relevant. Killer Croc is a man with tremendous strength, great lung capacity, and less than impressive intellect. He also resembles a crocodile. What villain would fit better in a New Orleans location?

Riddler

Most of the villain rumors floating around the internet involve the Riddler in some capacity, and whether it will be Johnny Depp, Dane Cook, or Eddie Murphy who will be portraying him. The thing is, the Riddler makes sense as a Batman villain. He is capable of setting up an elaborate crime spree/puzzle that will keep Batman on his toes and the audience on the edge of their seats. Christopher Nolan is also the type of director who can analyze the Riddler’s motivation, and whether he leaves riddles because of the thrill of the game or because he wants to get caught.

Catwoman

With the death of Rachel Dawes in The Dark Knight, both Batman and Bruce Wayne are pretty much devoid of female company. Sure, Bruce Wayne has the whole billionaire playboy schtick that involves numerous lady types, but they don’t really count as romantic interests. Catwoman could fill this role quite nicely, leading Batman on chases throughout the city while he struggles to discover his true feelings about her. Her alter ego, Selina Kyle, could also enter Bruce Wayne’s life around the same time. The plot thickens!

Penguin

Christopher Nolan has gone on record as saying Penguin is a bit too campy of a character for his taste. At the same time, he could easily transform the Penguin from a waddling joke to a criminal mastermind that has to be taken seriously. One actor whose name is thrown around frequently for this role is Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Give him a beak-like nose and a big budget and he could give Batman some real troubles. I don’t think Nolan would keep the umbrella machine guns, though.

Scarecrow

The Scarecrow might appear in the third installment in the Batman franchise simply because he has been in the previous two movies. It is highly doubtful that Scarecrow will be the main foe Batman faces off against, as he and his fear toxin were already featured prominently in Batman Begins, but he might make an appearance. It could be one of those little details that helps to bring a series of movies together.

Popularity: 13% [?]

That’s right, I said it. A fan made Star Wars video is better than all three prequels, even the one with Darth Maul. Everybody knows that the original Star Wars trilogy was a work of art that made the term Space Opera relatable, while the last three were more of “I’ll watch them if I have nothing better to do” quality. Jeremy Messersmith decided that the best way to pay homage to the older movies was to make a short video featuring key scenes from the original trilogy. What makes his video so great is how he perfectly catches the nostalgic value of the series with his paper animations. Perhaps the best part of this video is seeing an adorable paper Chewbacca choke Lando Calrissian while a dismantled C-3PO looks on in shock. All of the paper facial expressions are priceless. The music is what really brings the video together. The original song, Tatooine, is also performed by Jeremy Messersmith. It is calm, relaxing, and reminds us of better times, before we knew who Jar Jar Binks was. Enjoy the video below.

Popularity: 2% [?]

A director has finally been chosen to bring the Superman franchise back to the glory it knew in the days of Christopher Reeve. The last Superman movie, Superman Returns, wasn’t a bad movie. It just didn’t live up to the hype. Brandon  Routh was actually a pretty good Superman, Kate Bosworth was a terrible Lois Lane, and it was decided that the series needed a reboot rather than live on in the previous franchise’s shadow. The man chosen to direct the newest incarnation of the man of steel is Zack Snyder.

Zack Snyder is best known for directing Dawn of the Dead, 300, and Watchmen. He did a pretty good job with both of those movies, although Watchmen did draw some criticism. Some fans of the Watchmen series didn’t think Snyder put in enough stuff from the comic, while some casual moviegoers thought that he put in too much. Either way, he managed to make two films that were talked about and entertained audiences, so he is a safe bet to make a Superman reboot that will garner some attention. Zack Snyder isn’t the only positive sign for the Superman reboot though.

You have probably heard of the Christopher Nolan. He has been involved with some great movies, two of them based off of another famous DC comic book character, Batman. He is also the executive producer for the Superman reboot. The man knows his way around some comic book mythos, so expect him to lend a helping hand to Zack Snyder in developing a comic book movie everybody will enjoy.

Popularity: 5% [?]

Let Me In looks like it just might be the best horror movie released in quite a long time. It has all the elements to make up something truly terrifying, including vampires that don’t sparkle and little kids being creepy. There is nothing more unsettling than creepy kids. This might even be the movie to bring a date to, she’ll want to cuddle when she’s scared. Or he’s scared, it could work for you too, ladies. Read on for some more great reasons to see Let Me In.

Chloe Moretz

Chloe Moretz made her Hollywood debut in Kick-Ass as the deadly Hit-Girl. She did a damn fine job of it, which is very impressive. It is hard to make a little girl believable as a ruthless and efficient killer, but Chloe Moretz pulled it off. At the same time, she still made it clear in some scenes that she was just a little girl. It was a terrific performance, and it showed that she could be a great kid character in movies that aren’t for kids. In Let Me In she will be draining blood for her victims and will no longer be a vigilante. She will still be awesome though.

Cloverfield

Matt Reeves is the director of Let Me In. He also happens to be the director of Cloverfield. Cloverfield managed to be an entertaining and scary movie despite the fact that the monster is rarely seen. What Matt Reeves showed with Cloverfield is he knows how to create truly scared characters without a whole lot of need for blood and gore. It relies on the pacing and the build up of suspense, just like Let Me In will. If he mixes in that blood and gore, Let Me In has a chance at being great.

John Lindqvist’s Novel

If you didn’t know, Let Me In is based off of a novel by John Lindqvist, also titled Let Me In. It is a great read, I would go so far as to recommend going out and getting the book before you go see the movie. It is also the type of book that translates well into a movie, as proven by the Swedish film Let the Right One In. Let the Right One In was a good movie, but now that Matt Reeves has seen that movie, he knows how to make John Lindqvist’s novel into an even better movie.

Kodi Smit-McPhee

Kodi Smit-McPhee, like Chloe Moretz, is a young actor who has proven himself to be quite capable. You might remember him from the movie The Road as the son of Viggo Mortensen. In The Road Smit McPhee had to deal with cannibals, intense cold, and generally being one of the last human beings alive. Dealing with the little vampire girl next door shouldn’t be any problem for him at all.

Elias Koteas

There is one reason why I am excited about Elias Koteas being in Let Me In. He is Casey Jones from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies. It is just a perfect bit of nostalgia for my inner nerd. For those of you who didn’t have childhoods, Casey Jones was the guy who wore a hockey mask and used various sports equipment to hand out his painful style of vigilante justice. Koteas is playing a policeman in Let Me In, but he will be having a much harder time handing out any justice to vampire children. Where are the turtles when you need them?

Popularity: 11% [?]