Humor District

I don’t know about you but I’m seriously looking forward to Piranha 3D which launches next week, 1 September. At first I was very confused by the trailer and “Straight to DVD!” I scoffed, but over time their marketing team have nurtured this little beast into my life enough to say “Oh OK I’ll give you a go Piranha 3D” to a point now where I’m all like “Hell yeah, let’s do this shit” & “Piranha 3D FTO” [For the Oscar, the last we shall speak about this]. Lets take you on that journey from confusion to air punches.
 

“Straight to DVD” I Scoffed

Piranha’s with glowing eyes, why the hell is Jerry O’Connell even in this oh yes how could I forget… Kangaroo Jack.

“Oh OK I’ll give you a go Piranha 3D”

The movie poster paying tribute to the Piranha 1978 film poster and original theatrical poster for Jaws. They mean business, by no means is this straight to DVD material.

“Hell yeah, let’s do this shit”

Kelly Brook & Elizabeth Shue in Bikinis frolicking on set? Bitch please…

“Piranha 3D FTO”

“Hollywood Treasure” Jerry O’Connell, Adam Scott, Kelly Brook, Paul Scheer, Pornstar Riley Steele & Elizabeth Shue all begging, nay demanding a whole host of Oscars. Bravo, Encore, Encore, Bravo!

Oh and one last thing (via) Christopher Lloyed plays a scientist!!

Go on, tell me you are not going to watch this movie!!

Popularity: 13% [?]

Darren Aronofsky has made some great movies that are absolutely haunting. His movies are amazing to watch, but you won’t leave them smiling. He has a way of connecting with the audience in his movies, and then finding a way to make that audience more depressed then a kid who just dropped their ice cream cone. I don’t think I could handle an Aronofsky Movie Marathon, simply because I’d just see how crappy life can be and go into a corner and cry. That would be halfway through the second movie of the marathon. It is a testament to his ability that Darren Aronofsky can make us feel so strongly about his movies, and his latest movie, Black Swan, looks like it will live up to the standards set by Requiem for a Dream and The Wrestler.

The best way to describe the Black Swan trailer is intense and deeply unnerving. The soundtracks for Aronofsky movies are always amazing and set the mood perfectly; the music in this trailer is a great example of that. I never thought a bit of violin music and some craziness could make a movie about ballerinas so creepy. Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis look great, and I don’t just mean attractive. Their performances are powerful, there is a sinister aura around Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman seems very paranoid and generally upset. At least Aronofsky realized that even his trailer was way intense and threw in a scene with Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman making out. I am sure that will raise attendance at theaters.

Popularity: 4% [?]

Popularity: 1% [?]

Lets be honest 3D is pretty much a gimmick right now, but Jackass 3D is the only reason for it to be ever invented. Watch the Jackass 3D trailer below and tell me you not excited/never creamed your pants. I’ve been a Jackass fan, but nothing to the point where I’d bumrush Johnny Knoxville. After watching this this though I might just have to, total man crush.

Something that didn’t sit well with me however is they seem to be copying stunts. I’m talking about the Santa Tree Top Rider stunt in particular, The Dudesons did it ages ago:

(trailer via ScreenJunkies)

Popularity: 2% [?]

Guillermo Del Toro has a habit of making creepy movies. Pan’s Labyrinth and The Orphanage are two good examples of said creepiness. I think any movie with a child eating monster who puts his eyeballs into his hands automatically qualifies a movie as a little bit creepy. It looks as if Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark will be pumping up the creep factor to never before seen heights. Just watch the trailer for Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark and you will see what I mean.

It seems as if Producer Guillermo Del Toro and Director Troy Nixey have a firm grasp on what fears we have brought with us since childhood. First off, what kid wasn’t afraid of the dark? Well I wasn’t, but I am exceptionally brave. It is all too easy to picture the smallest sounds we heard in the dark as tiny monster claws pattering against the floor. Del Toro and Nixey are just showing what it would be like if those little monsters existed. The creepiest part of the trailer was the little girl crawling under her blanket and seeing one of those little buggers pop out at her. That’s not fair, Del Toro! Everyone knows that monsters can’t get you while you are under your blanket. You are making this movie too scary! I know  will be joined by many others in seeing it, I just hope they don’t mind leaving the lights on for the movie.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Could Ferris Bueller have been imagined by Cameron? The Ferris Bueller Fight Club Theory has been around for a while and has been discussed at length. Ferris Bueller, the person, is just a figment of Cameron’s imagination, and Sloane is the girl Cameron secretly loves.

One day while he’s lying sick in bed, Cameron lets “Ferris” steal his father’s car and take the day off, and as Cameron wanders around the city, all of his interactions with Ferris and Sloane, and all the impossible hijinks, are all just played out in his head. This is part of the reason why the “three” characters can see so much of Chicago in less than one day — Cameron is alone, just imagining it all.

It isn’t until he destroys the front of the car in a fugue state does he finally get a grip and decide to confront his father, after which he imagines a final, impossible escape for Ferris and a storybook happy ending for Sloane (“He’s gonna marry me!”), the girl that Cameron knows he can never have.

ClassyHands took that concept and created this brilliant remixed trailer:

[via Gawker]

Popularity: 1% [?]

We all know that Johnny Depp enjoys playing odd and somewhat eccentric characters in movies. He will be continuing along those lines when he voices the titular character in the animated movie Rango. Rango is basically set as a western with armadillos and lizards instead of ranchers and cowhands. Rango the chameleon has some sort of identity crisis as he decides he wants to be a hero and then realizes that means actually standing up to snakes and eagles. For those of you who don’t watch Animal Planet, snakes and eagles generally eat little lizards like Rango, so Rango will need to grow a John Wayne sized pair pretty fast.

Rango is still somewhat of a mystery, but from what we have seen so far it looks pretty good. The cast and crew bringing this movie together definitely give us reason to be hopeful. The voice talents include not only Johnny Depp, but Timothy Olyphant, Isla Fisher, and Alfred Molina. The director is Gore Verbinski, who also directed the first three Pirates of the Caribbean movies, so we can expect some quality. Check out the trailer below and see the potential Rango has.

Popularity: 2% [?]

I will admit that when I heard Seth Rogen was going to be starring in a Green Hornet remake I was a bit skeptical. Seth Rogen is hilarious and everything, but he just doesn’t seem like the hero type. I also couldn’t picture him in any sort of actual fight scene, especially after Pineapple Express. To my surprise, the trailer seems to prove me entirely wrong.

Seth Rogen has managed to keep his sense of humor throughout this movie alongside some major ass kicking scenes. If they can keep that balance shown in the trailer throughout the movie then I expect The Green Hornet to be a very entertaining movie. Seth Rogen’s one-liners do a great job of lightening the mood and Kato is the perfect straight man for his jokes. Jay Chou fills some big shoes as Kato, who was previously played by Bruce Lee. He looks like he will do a fine job just judging from the trailer, but we all know trailers can be misleading. I believe the success of this movie depends a lot on how well Jay Chou and Seth Rogen play off each other, and the trailer seems to show they do it very well.

I am actually surprised that the trailer turned out this well considering the troubles this movie has run into. Nicolas Cage dropped out, the script has been changed around, and directors have been shuffled around before Michael Gondry stepped up. Most movies that meet half of these problems turn out to be fairly atrocious, but hopefully The Green Hornet can buck that trend.

Popularity: 3% [?]

When we featured the Jonah Hex teazer trailer it was right around the time Iron Man 2 was due to be released. To be honest we all gave it some airtime only for one person. Yup Megan Fox, it seems if you don’t have confidence your movie will make bank get Megan Fox on board. We can’t blame them however.

As for the Jonah Hex, should you go and watch it? Critics reckon rather wait for the DVD, via RottenTomatoes

There’s a Director’s Cut version of Jonah Hex, right? Because this film feels like a series of bullet points disguised as a feature film.

There isn’t a single reason to see this movie.

Jonah Hex is not a good movie. Not by a long shot… But that didn’t stop me from having a hell of a lot of fun watching it.

To refresh your memory here’s the Trailer:

And onto Megan Fox at the premiere:

Popularity: 2% [?]

Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole is in the running for 2010 movie with the most ridiculous title. That can be forgiven though, considering the movie is based of a series of books written by Kathryn Lasky for a younger audience. Kids are into their crazy sounding fantasy titles. The description of the plot is also kind of odd. It follows two young owls who fall out of a tree and are chased by the Pure Ones, evil birds. The young owls search for the Guardians of Ga’Hoole, warrior owls. Apparently owls are a very mischievous species when we are sleeping. Again, this plot can be forgiven because it is aimed towards kids.

So with this description of the movie, you are probably not very interested in going to see it. Well let me tell you right now that you should see this movie even if you don’t like the plot. The reason for this is because Legend of the Guardians looks absolutely fantastic. The owls have a ridiculous amount of detail on them. It is truly amazing to see how beautiful computer generated images can be. In my humble opinion, these graphics look better than the blue cat people in avatar. Check out the trailer below and see what technology can do.

Popularity: 1% [?]