Humor District

Shrek Forever After is set to be the last installment in the Shrek franchise. While I’m not entirely convinced they won’t continue to pop out more Shrek movies if this one continues the success of its predecessors, this could be the last time we see a grumpy ogre team up with a talking donkey and various fairy tale creatures.

Mike Myers returns as Shrek, along with the favorites like Eddie Murphy as Donkey, Antonio Banderas as Puss in Boots, and Cameron Diaz as Fiona. They have also brought in Megan Fox for this one, although I don’t know why considering this is animated so we won’t see her in any revealing outfits. I am kind of excited to see Regis Philbin and Larry King playing ugly stepsisters though. That’s not a joke by the way, check out the IMDB page. Shrek Forever After is set for a May 21, 2010 release date.

Ridley Scott is teaming up with Russell Crowe in the latest film depiction of Robin Hood. They were great together in Gladiator, and honestly Robin Hood looks fairly similar as far as visuals go. I suppose some parallels could be found in the story with a single man getting the support of the masses against corrupt politicians, but there’s no need to get into all of that.

We already know that Ridley Scott knows his way around fight scenes, and I expect plenty from Robin Hood. What I’m also expecting is great acting with names such as Russell Crowe, William Hurt, and Cate Blanchett involved with this. It might look similar to Gladiator, but Robin Hood is likely to be remembered as its own great movie.

The last time we saw Tron on the big screen was way back in 1982. We got to see Jeff Bridges ride a Light Cycle around, save humanity, and become CEO of ENCOM as Kevin Flynn/Clu. Then he built himself a new version of Iron Man armor and…wait, wrong movie. Anyways, in this sequel it is Flynn’s son, Sam, who enters the world of Tron, where apparently Kevin Flynn has just been hanging out for 25 years, doing the normal gladiatorial Tron stuff. The best part is Kevin Flynn is still played by Jeff Bridges.

I’m expecting some great special effects in Tron Legacy, along with a keen survival instinct passed from father to son. This feels like it will be a good little jaunt down nostalgia avenue and I’m actually looking forward to seeing it. Just for the record though, I really think somebody should move that laser that sends people into the digital world, that’s a big safety hazard.

The newest Iron Man 2 trailer premiered after the Academy Awards on the Jimmy Kimmel show, and it blew me away. Robert Downey Jr. was made to play the role of Iron Man, he basically is Tony Stark. That was already settled in the first movie though. Mickey Rourke has a big part in the trailer, and from what I can see, he is going to be a pretty formidable opponent. Perhaps the coolest thing was to see Don Cheadle suit up as War Machine. I am also excited to see how Scarlett Johansson fits in to all of this, as she is more than just eye candy as the Black Widow. Well, that’s enough of my talking, sit back and enjoy the trailer.

George Romero is unquestionably the master of the zombie movie, which is why I’m excited for his latest project, Survival of the Dead. There are two things in the trailer that stick out to me. First off, the zombies are not super zombified like in a lot of recent zombie movies. By that I mean they aren’t missing half their faces and such, they are fairly simplistic. They kind of remind me of the first zombies George Romero introduced us to. The second thing I noticed is that is one bad ass old Irish man who is not afraid to crack a joke, even with zombies trying to eat his brains. Survival of the Dead looks to be a zombie movie with some humor, which I look forward to seeing. I’m not expecting Zombieland levels of jokes, but I’m sure there will be a chuckle or two provided in between the action. Survival of the Dead hits theaters May 28th, but will be available on X-Box Live, On Demand, and Amazon April 30th for you impatient types. I might be one of those who doesn’t wait for the theatrical release, I’m always ready for a good zombie movie.

Who ever greenlit the concept of a redband trailer needs a medal. Kevin Smith’s Cop Out looked pretty lame from the initial trailer and not at all worth my hard earned pennies. The red band trailer was released, and had Tracy Morgan punching kids in the nuts, Bruce Willis swearing like a trooper and my heart, which was once cold and hard was all a flutter.  Same thing here with Kickass, there have been a number of trailers and all have made the movie out to be quite excellent. Redband trailer comes along and I literally wet my pants, I’m THAT excited! Dick jokes, violence and a nerdy laugh from Nicholas Cage.

Please for the love of God Kickass, live up to your damn trailer!

Let us know what you think.

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The Redband trailer for Kevin Smith’s Cop Out with Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan is out, and really, thank God for redband trailers. Theres swearing and Tracy Morgan punching a kid in the nuts. Looks like a damn good movie. The only problem I see it having is the Kevin Smith factor, OK fan boys settle down and hear me out. When I think “Kevin Smith” first thing that comes to mind is “Clerks” and I let out a little smile, and then I think “Jersey Girl” and I dry-heave. Zack and Miri Make a Porno — smile, Clerks II — dry heave. Here’s hoping Cop Out comes out punching with the smiles, and not lying on the canvas in a pool of last nights carrots.

What you guys think, hit or miss?

[via FSR]

One of these trailers is not like the other.  Can you tell which one?

The Expendables…

The Loser…

And then The A-Team…

Okay so I lied.  None of them are not like the other.

Alright, let’s try this.  I’ll tell you the plot of one of them, and you can tell me which movie I am talking about.  Ready?  Here we go:

A team (that wasn’t a hint) of badass, slightly psychotic and disgraced elite specialist soldiers must travel to a foreign country, escape inferior law enforcement and defeat an evil warlord for their only shot at redemption.  There will be no shortage of carnage and bodies.

Still don’t know which movie I am talking about?  If you guessed the A-Team, you’d be right.  But then again if you guess The Losers or the Expendables, you’d also be right.

Truth be told, I can’t wait to see all of them.  I’m a sucker for badass action movies.  But I would prefer it if they would stagger the schedules a little bit.  You know, like one a year.  Or at the very least one every 6 months.  but three in a year?  That’s pushing it.

So what actually is the difference?  Well The A-Team has the always lovely Jessica Biel, the Expendables has Buffy the Vampire Slayer alum Charisma Carpenter and the Losers cast the smoking hot (both physically and career-wise) Zoe Saldana.  So they all have hot babes, dammit that’s not it.

They all begin with the word “The” so that’s not it.

I just don’t know what the difference is between these three movies.

Hmm…Okay wait, I’ve got it!

The source material!  The A-Team is based on a beloved TV show that nobody wants to see screwed up, the Loser is based on a comic book that nobody wants to see screwed up and the Expendables is based on 80′s/90′s action movies that nobody wants to see screwed up…

…

…

Ah crap.  Forget it, I give up.

Beaze and all his crazy antics, featured articles and random thoughts are now on twitter @Beazewriter

28 Drinks Later is a hilarious parody trailer that spoofs 28 Days Later to give a glimpse at the “alcoholypse.” Instead of a world filled with mindless zombies… it’s a world filled with mindless drunks.

The short was created for Nick Swardson’s Comedy Central DVD Seriously, Who Farted? and stars Nick Swardson and Simon Rex.

The premise is simple. Despite a thriving US economy, the Nation has fallen to and succumbed to the iron grip of the Appletini and my personal vice, Jagerbombs, and everyone… is… wasted! Check out the video below.
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If you ever watched Grindhouse, you might recall the fake trailer by Robert Rodriguez, Machete. It was probably the best thing to come out of the double-feature. It hinted at a good story a Mexican day laborer is set up, double-crossed, and left for dead, then starts everyone’s worst nightmare. It carried with it gratuitous violence, a badass catchphrase “They just fucked with the wrong Mexican.”, Danny Trejo, & boobs. Remember? Sure you do.

Great news is Rodriguez made that movie, financed by himself, where he begged, borrowed and stole to do so. It has quite a powerhouse cast for an indie film though, Robert De Niro, Michelle Rodriguez (Lost), Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan, and Danny Trejo. Fox Studios signed on recently and this movie is a definite ‘GO’.

Check out the original mock trailer below that lead to the production of the Mexican not to be fucked with, Machete after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »