Humor District

It used to be that one of the big forms of entertainment was puppet shows. People would gather around a puppeteer as they put on little shows for the enjoyment of all. While our forms of entertainment have gotten a little more high tech than puppets these days, that doesn’t mean that puppets don’t still have a special place in our hearts. Many of us grew up with puppets being featured on some of our favorite shows, and even all grown up there are some puppets we can still appreciate.

Howdy Doody

Howdy Doody is the puppet that your grandparents grew up with. He was a little red headed cowboy puppet who entertained children from 1947 until 1960. Apparently television was around in 1947, I am just as surprised as you are. Howdy Doody was one of the first shows that got the audience involved, as the beginning of every show featured a live studio audience singing the theme song along with Howdy Doody. Your grandparents probably sang along too, sitting in front of their super expensive 8 inch television with the grainy black and white picture. Ask them about it, it will bring up fond memories and long rambling stories.

Lamb Chop

Lamb Chop was the main character in a more recent children’s show. She was a little lamb who had a very adventurous spirit and liked to explore during Lamb Chop’s Play-Along. Lamb Chop would invariably run into some sort of problem and need her puppeteer or other puppets to help her solve problems. This formula for adorableness apparently worked, as Lamb Chop’s Play-Along won 5 Emmy Awards. While the original Lamb Chop puppeteer, Shari Lewis, has passed away, Mallory Lewis is keeping her mother’s puppet alive.

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog

Here we have a puppet that is definitely not for the kids, despite the fact that Triumph the Insult Comic Dog is best known for his infantile humor. Triumph is best known for saying complimenting somebody by saying they are great… to poop on! See, that is comedy right there. Scatological references and the occasional curse word. Still, a foul mouthed doberman with an eastern European accent makes for a surprisingly entertaining puppet. We probably won’t see Triumph on any kid’s shows any time soon, but he will still be making appearances on late night television.

Elmo

Elmo has perfected the ability to be adorable. He has had a lot of time to work on this being a main character on Sesame Street, which has been around since 1969. I personally think the fame has gone to Elmo’s head, as he now insists on referring to himself in the third person. Nonetheless, Elmo has done an unbelievable job connecting with children and is one of the most easily recognizable characters on television. No kid would be scared of having the furry red monster jump out of their closet.

Kermit the Frog

Kermit the Frog is the greatest character ever made by the guy who put Sesame Street together, Jim Henson. Henson hit pure gold when he created the green icon known as Kermit the Frog. Kermit started off his career as the host of The Muppet Show and quickly became the most popular of all the Muppets. He has starred in movies, appeared on Sesame Street, recorded hit songs, and even written an autobiography. Every time a puppet is made, it hopes it can reach the heights of success that Kermit has. Well, at least the people who created the puppet are hoping for that.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Not every show can be as entertaining as Entourage or Wipeout, in fact, some can be pretty atrocious. As a result, many shows don’t last very long on the air. It is not uncommon to hear of shows being cancelled after their first season, or even halfway through a season. Those shows were pretty bad, but they were bearable. At least kind of. We don’t need to talk about those shows, as there are very many of them. What we will talk about are those shows that were so atrocious that they couldn’t make it past a single episode. Somebody somewhere came to work drunk and gave these shows the green light. One can only assume that somebody lives in a cardboard box these days. These are absolute train wrecks of shows, but at least we can look back on them and laugh.

Secret Talents of the Stars

Secret Talents of the Stars was a game show that featured celebrities showing off little know talents. Contestants in the first, and only, episode included George Takei, Sacha Cohen, Clint Black, and Ben Stein. Takei performed a country song, and did decently. It also led up to a very controversial moment. One of the judges made a comment about George Takei looking like one of the stars of Brokeback Mountain. When you realize that Takei is openly homosexual, it becomes clear that this was not a very appropriate comment to make. Worst of all none of the stars’ talents were very entertaining, and the show was cancelled after a single episode. The biggest surprise was that audience members actually took the time to vote on performances.

Osbournes: Reloaded

The Osbournes are a very odd family. That is why so many people watched the Osbournes’ reality show. The next step was to give them a variety show called Osbournes: Reloaded. The family did such outrageous skits as showing Sharon Osbourne working a real job instead of rolling in piles of money. Seeing as this was one of their best ideas for a skit, it is not surprising that Osbournes: Reloaded didn’t make it past a single episode. The show was on Fox, but many local stations cancelled it before an episode even aired due to the fact that the Osbournes were a little too vulgar for most American families.

Emily’s Reasons Why Not

Heather Graham is very attractive. Emily’s Reasons Why Not was a show based on Heather Graham’s character Emily not being able to find a guy. Basically she made lists of why guys weren’t right for her, even though most guys would gladly change whatever they could to make it on her list. Remember that guy we previously mentioned who now lives in a box? That was most likely the fate of everybody who gave this show the thumbs up, as apparently nobody even bothered to watch the pilot before giving it the OK.

Turn-On

Turn-On was a variety show that aired in 1969. It has the rare distinction of actually being cancelled halfway through the premier of the first episode. This was due to the extremely offensive nature of many of the skits shown. One of the skits was simply scrolling homosexual messages across the screen, while another featured a firing squad propositioning a woman before shooting, and a third featured a diagram for a table shaped as a swastika. It is actually shocking that sketches like those were approved in the first place. This show should have been cancelled before a single episode was aired.

Liza and David

Liza Minnelli is a very entertaining woman, but her former husband David Gest was just a pain in the ass. Liza and David was a reality show proposed by VH1 that would follow the couple around as they did things that were assumed to be entertaining. The only problem was David Gest had made it his mission in life to make everyone around him miserable. He would constantly cancel filming at the last second, and abused the camera crew whenever they did something he didn’t like. He didn’t like much of anything. Eventually VH1 got tired of Gest and scrapped the whole show. The pilot episode never even made it on to the air.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Starz had a hit with the first season of Spartacus: Blood and Sand, so they decided to capitalize by not only working on a second season of the show, but also making a prequel show. The prequel, Spartacus: Gods of the Arena, really won’t have much to do with Spartacus. Instead it will focus on the house of Batiatus, played by John Hannah, before Spartacus shows up and dominates everybody. Expect to see an intriguing look into the inequality of social classes in ancient Rome, along with the responsibilities of those in charge of the care for others. I’m just kidding, it is going to feature a bunch of very muscular men in leather underoos killing each other in extremely over the top ways.

For fans of the first season of Spartacus: Blood and Sand, there will be a few familiar faces returning for Spartacus: Gods of the Arena. First, Batiatus and his wife Lucretia will have prominent roles in the series, and will still be played by John Hannah and Lucy Lawless. The gladiator Crixus will also be returning, played by Manu Bennett. Crixus will once again be playing second fiddle to another gladiator, this time Gannicus, the first Champion of Capua. Gannicus will be played by Dustin Clare, an Australian actor I’ve never heard of before. New cast members joining Clare will be Jaime Murray and Marisa Ramirez, who will be playing Gaia and Melitta respectively. Gaia is a friend of Lucretia and Melitta is a slave who will be getting very friendly with a gladiator. At least that is my assumption. Best of all the real Spartacus, Andy Whitfield will occasionally make appearances, so I guess that justifies the show being named after him. Actually, best of all might be Jaime Murray.

Popularity: 1% [?]

It seems that the only time commercials are really talked about is during the Super Bowl. This makes sense, as most Super Bowl commercials are well done since 30 seconds of ad time costs a company more than the GNP of most countries. While that is the only time that commercials are widely talked about, there always seems to be a commercial out that is just absolutely hilarious. This is the commercial that will cause conversations to be paused until it is over. In some cases, these commercials are actually more entertaining than the shows they are interrupting. Let’s take a look at some recent commercials that did a good job making us want to buy their products, or at least laugh.

I’m on a Horse

Old Spice earned my customer loyalty with this commercial. They could sell me deodorant that made me smell like a pig farm and I would probably buy it, at least after a sales pitch like Isaiah Mustafa gives in this commercial. I feel like this commercial should come with a disclaimer, stating that using it will not give you magical abilities to fill an oyster with tickets that turn into diamonds. I know I was slightly disappointed when I put on that Old Spice and it only slightly improved my odor rather than making me rich. Seriously though, who could resist buying a product that will make you smell like Isaiah Mustafa?

Steve Nash Promotes Vitamin Water

Steve Nash is best known for being absolutely hilarious. I hear he is also a decent basketball player. He is most likely best known as the spokesman for Vitamin Water, he should definitely be in more of their television commercials. Unfortunately Vitamin Water usually has their commercial starring another decent basketball player, Lebron James of the (insert team here), playing on TV instead. I say we start a write in campaign to get more Steve Nash on TV, besides those 82 other times he’s on every year.

Captain Night Owl

Captain Morgan has been putting out a lot of entertaining commercials recently. One of the best has definitely been the commercial profiling Captain Night Owl. We all have that friend who considers 12:00 am – 2:00 am warm up time and really hits his stride at around 3:00 am. Captain Morgan just decided to portray that night owl as, well, an actual owl. There is something creepy yet hilarious about seeing a man-owl turn his head all the way around to check out a cutie.

Domino’s Oreo Pizza

By writing the header “Domino’s Oreo Pizza”, I have probably done just about all the marketing work necessary to get people to buy a pizza made out of Oreos. Domino’s decided that wasn’t enough, and went on to create a hilarious commercial. All guys remember the patchy facial hair that first grew in, all thin and pathetic looking and plaguing me to this day. This commercial feeds right into those early facial hair days and offers some reassuring words. The first line of “that’s not stuff, Meredith” also made me giggle. I have to thank my friend Dave for finding this commercial, he grows nice facial hair.

Egypt’s Weird Perception of Pandas

This is not a commercial that you will likely see in the United States. Nonetheless, it is one of the most entertaining commercials I have ever seen. It is for some Egyptian product called Panda Cheese. The name of the product is the most normal part of this commercial. I don’t really know how to describe this commercial other than it involves a nurse trying to give a patient Panda Cheese, the patient refusing, and the Panda being an asshole. Apparently Egypt isn’t so sad about Pandas being endangered.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Game shows are great. We get to watch people win large amounts of money over short periods of time using skills that are useless anywhere else, it’s basically the American dream. Plus we are all thinking that we could do better than the chump we are watching compete. Our desire to see people win is only surpassed by our desire to see them lose, and nowhere is that more true than in game shows featuring obstacle courses. It is humorous to us when somebody not only comes up short of the prize but also ends up muddy and a little beat up. That is why game shows featuring obstacle courses are the best of the best. I suppose that makes the following shows the best of the best of the best.

Wipeout

Wipeout is the type of obstacle course that people watch and think, “hey, I could actually do that”. Fortunately for viewers, most people actually can’t do that. The show isn’t called Wipeout for nothing, and the contestants who fall short are most often far more entertaining than those who complete the course successfully. The fact that the show’s fitness requirement seems to be somewhere between beached whale and gelatinous blob definitely adds to the humor. If none of that catches your attention, one of the hosts, Jill Wagner, is pretty easy on the eyes. Enjoy the picture of her to make up for the music in the Wipeout video clip.

MXC

MXC or Most Extreme Elimination Challenge was the funniest obstacle course show ever. We all know that everything strange ever has probably originated in Japan, and obstacle course game shows are no exception as proven with obstacles like muddy balls, where contestants stand in a mud pit and have to catch a soccer ball that has been launched high in the air. In all fairness the name muddy balls was given by the American producers who dubbed the old Japanese show Takeshi’s Castle, but I like to believe the original name was probably stranger. The best part of MXC was definitely the play by play and color commentary of Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano along with Kenny Blankenship’s Painful Eliminations.

Ninja Warrior

Ninja Warrior is basically the exact opposite of Wipeout. The general fitness level on Ninja Warrior ranges from Olympic athlete to teenager who gained superpowers through an irradiated spider bite. Another difference is the fact that the Ninja Warrior obstacle course isn’t one you watch and think “I would totally win”. You think “I could train for the next six months and maybe get past the first obstacle”. Here is the type of challenge you can expect from Ninja Warrior.

Fortunately Ninja Warrior isn’t all beastly men who conquer everything, and there is plenty of failure to be seen as well.

Unbeatable Banzuke

Remember when I said everything weird ever came from Japan? I think Unbeatable Banzuke strengthens that theory. Unbeatable Banzuke is an obstacle course geared towards one very specific talent, whether that talent is riding a unicycle or walking on your hands. The show isn’t called Unbeatable Banzuke for nothing though, and the combination of the oddly specific skill required along with the difficulty of the obstacle course provides for many failed attempts. Plus you can even laugh at the winners for being the best unicycle riders.

Legends of the Hidden Temple

Legends of the Hidden Temple was an old show on Nickelodeon that featured kids answering trivia questions and running through a series of physical challenges. While the physical challenges look far less challenging than they used to, it is still hilarious to see the little kids freak out when the Temple Guard pop out in front of them. That and Olmec is the most bad ass talking stone head ever. Just for the record, I would totally dominate Legends of the Hidden Temple.

Popularity: 1% [?]

With the emergence of the Twilight series, vampires have found a new popularity in mainstream media. Some aren’t happy about Twilight’s depiction of sparkly vampires, but it cannot be denied that Twilight has been beneficial to the crazy throat ripping vampires as well, as vampire popularity has increased in general. A good example of this is with HBO’s series True Blood, which has become tremendously popular. Now that vampires are in vogue once again, it is a good time to look at 5 of the best vampire shows to be seen on television.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

When it comes to vampire shows, nothing beats Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Not only was Sarah Michelle Gellar super hot as she killed vampires, but the vampires themselves were pretty kick ass. They weren’t the sparkly and sympathetic vampires, but the kind that just wanted to suck your blood and maybe cop a feel at the same time. It wasn’t until the emergence of Angel that there was the sensitive type, but that was okay because he stilled busted heads. Joss Whedon definitely had a winner with Buffy.

True Blood

True Blood is HBO’s attempt at  a vampire series, and they hit this one out of the park. True Blood takes full advantage of HBO’s allowance of nudity, really focusing on the passion of vampires. Apparently vampires are very passionate. What makes True Blood stand out amongst other vampire shows is how the vampires try to live their lives as normal people, drinking only synthesized blood. Of course you cannot change the nature of the beast, so there is plenty of action to be seen.

The Vampire Diaries

The Vampire Diaries was basically the television version of Twilight. It followed high schoolers, some of whom happened to be vampires, as they go through their normal high school drama of who likes who and who is a pale bloodless corpse. The CW station was not known for the quality of its shows, so The Vampire Diaries was a bit of a pleasant surprise. This show was definitely aimed more towards teenage girls, but it was undoubtedly popular and well done.

Being Human

Being Human was one of the best series on the BBC. It didn’t particularly focus on vampires, focusing more on everything supernatural, but one of the main characters was a vampire as were many of the characters they ran into. It followed three roommates, a vampire, ghost, and werewolf, as they got into misadventures with other supernatural creatures and often speaking on the mystery of death. It was equal parts morbid and humorous, and all entertaining.

Moonlight

Moonlight was another vampire show definitely geared towards a female audience. As long as vampire stories have been around, there has been an air of sexuality and romance around them, and that is exactly what Moonlight focuses on. The part where the main character is also a private investigator is pretty awesome as well. There are few things as entertaining as vampire detective tracking down criminals, fighting other vampires, and loving human women.

Popularity: 2% [?]

We are coming up on that time of year when many of our favorite shows are coming to an end. Some will be back after a brief hiatus, but others won’t have any new episodes. It has long been a theme to have the last episode of a season, and especially series, be a special event that shakes the foundation of the show. The purpose of the season finale is to leave you with an episode that brings you back for more, which is why they are so often cliffhangers. Some have done better than others, and these are the season finales that have not only brought people back for future seasons, but have had a tremendous impact on the series in general.

Who Shot Mr. Burns – The Simpsons

The Simpsons basically spoofed an old season finale of Dallas with their Who Shot Mr. Burns story arc. The finale had Mr. Burns plotting to build a device that would block out the sun and make the citizens of Springfield rely on his power plant to provide light for them. It was a cruel and devious plan, even by his standards. Of course everyone in Springfield was outraged by this, and at the end of the episode Mr. Burns was shot. The only problem was that everyone in town could be considered a suspect. Mr. Burns has never won any popularity contests. Fox built up the mystery with various promotional deals and contests, and we were left with a Simpsons episode we would never forget.

The Kiss – The Office

Jim and Pam’s romance on The Office is something we take for granted these days. It seems so long ago that Jim was constantly hanging around Pam’s desk and Pam was engaged to some guy in the warehouse. The season finale of season 2 had Jim finally confess his love for Pam in the middle of a rainy parking lot. She looked at him, they had a moment, then she said no and ran away. It looked like all was lost for Jim, until he tracked her down. While Pam might have been saying no, her body was most definitely saying yes. Jim and Pam end the episode with a kiss that cements their romance for the rest of the series.

Borgified – Star Trek: The Next Generation

Captain Jean-Luc Picard was the indomitable Captain of the USS Enterprise who had triumphed over every alien threat he had faced. He was the stalwart character, the leading man who could do no wrong. You just don’t expect anything to happen to a character like that. He just saves the day. That was the story until the Borg showed up at the end of Season 3. The Borg proved that resistance was futile, and set about assimilating people all over the place. This time there was no last second triumph, as Captain Jean-Luc Picard was Borgified himself, becoming that which he most despised.

The Mystery of Cartman’s Father – South Park

There are several themes in South Park. Kenny is poor, Stan and Kyle learn life lessons each episode, and Cartman’s mom is a big slut and possible drug addict. The promiscuous ways of Cartman’s mom led up to the events of the season 1 finale. Cartman’s mom had been with so many men, that nobody could be sure of who Cartman’s father actually was. Cartman was seriously hoping that his dad was John Elway of the Denver Broncos, but pretty much every other guy on the team was potentially his father as well. With most of the town gathered around Cartman, the mystery of his father was soon to be revealed, with lasting repercussions. It was not until the 201st episode that the mystery of Cartman’s father was truly solved.

Grave Danger – CSI

By season 5, most of us were tired of seeing the same old routine of the crime being solved after the CSI team analyzes a boot print, bullet casing, or semen sample. Luckily the season 5 finale shook things up by bringing in Quentin Tarantino to direct the episode. It was one of the most suspenseful episodes in the series, with one of the main characters, Nick Stokes, becoming trapped in a coffin. If that wasn’t creepy enough, the coffin has plenty of devious contraptions to prevent his escape or rescue. Quentin Tarantino did a great job in mixing things up on this season finale.

Popularity: 1% [?]

The old Super Friends cartoon was pretty ridiculous. It is still fun to watch, but that is because we like to laugh at the pure cheesiness of it. The animation was poor, the dialogue was subpar, yet it had a great amount of success. The same can be said for Taco Bell. They don’t have the best ingredients, you might get hepatitis from their burritos, but we still can’t stop eating there. It sounds like the two were made for each other.

Taco Bell has gone above and beyond with their newest ad campaign, featuring animated shorts of characters with a definite Super Friends kind of vibe to them. Even the animation and subpar dialogue is similar. The Super Delicious Ingredient Force is absolutely hilarious. It is a shame that Taco Bell doesn’t always have commercials of this quality, in fact, most of their commercials are terrible. You won’t see this commercial on television, but you can visit the Super Delicious Ingredient Force website for more videos. The safety message at the end is a nice touch.

Popularity: 2% [?]

To guys the L Word in principle sounds like the greatest show on earth. Hot lesbians getting sloppy and having sex willy-nilly all over the place. Awesome. Watch an episode and you’ll see the sex happens few and far between and the show is quite frankly, and it pains me to say this, fucking boring. Luckily for you and I MadeMen got their resident lesbian and L Word fangirl, Gabriel, in to give us a run down of the hottest L Word scenes to ever grace our screens. However what she did forget to do is complement her post with relevant videos. You’re welcome. by the way. Anyways over to Gabriel:

When considering girl-on-girl action, nothing is sexier than these 5 hottest “The L Word” scenes. These scenes feature the hot ladies of the Showtime hit “The L Word” showing off their best assets. Many of the scenes leave nothing to the imagination, while some leave everything to it. Regardless of the setting, each of these scenes left a blazing memory with its viewers as being amongst the hottest of the “The L Word” scenes.

1. Bette and Candace, season one.

This jail scene has been listed by several sites as one of the hottest scenes in spite of the lack of physical contact. Bette and Candace show just how far your mind can take you when oral contact is all you have.

2. Jenny and Carmen, season two.

Jenny and Carmen take the concept of water play to the next level in this steamy season two scene. Even if you are not into the kink yourself, you cannot help but enjoy these two women living their own special water fetish. It’s no wonder that this scene is listed as one of the top 5 hottest.

Place holder video of Jenny & Carmen getting it on in various scenes which will be replaced with the elusive water fetish scene Gabriel doth speaketh of.

3. Jenny and Nikky, season five.

One of the very first scenes of its kind outside of the adult movie industry. The use of girl-on-girl, plus a strap-on, is amazingly well done in this top scene. The scene leaves nothing to the imagination, but that really doesn’t hurt anything. This brings a whole new twist to girl-on-girl action.

4. Shane and Carmen, season two finale.

The season two finale features Shane and Cameron giving the fans just what they wanted and needed for two seasons. It is the perfect anticipation builder and a no-brainer for the top 5 hottest “The L Word” scenes.

5. Marina and Jenny, season one.

Let the cheating begin! After four years of happily-ever-after, Jenny finally decides that Marina is just the person to break that cycle. Their hot scene and chemistry-heavy build up is simply astounding and a sure topper for this top five list.

Popularity: 7% [?]

It has already been brought up that the Street Sharks were very similar to the Ninja Turtles. Both shows featured four mutated brothers teaming up to fight crime. The question arises, which team was cooler. On one side you have man-sharks that can bite their way through a horde of criminals, while on the other side there are turtles who have learned the way of ninjutsu from a rat. Both seem pretty solidly stacked, so we will divide this competition into a series of categories. Whichever team that wins the most categories will be named the victor. Let’s get this party started.

Origins

Street Sharks: The Street Sharks came into being when an evil scientist experiments on 4 brothers with a genetic manipulator device. The scientist wanted to turn everyone into mindless mutants so he could take over and avoid crowds at movie theaters. This immediately gave the Street Sharks a villain and a purpose. They sent the rest of the series preventing the scientist from turning everyone into mutants while trying to revert to their human form as well

Ninja Turtles: These 4 brothers started out as turtles rather than humans, but gained some human like qualities after they were soaked in a chemical known as ooze. This made the turtles grow and learn English as they were raised by a rat similarly transformed by the ooze. The rat taught them the way of the ninja, and the turtles began their career of crime-fighting while at the same time trying to solve the mystery of the ooze.

Winner: Ninja Turtles. Their origins presents not only bad guys but a mystery to solve, making the show’s beginning just a bit more interesting.

Fighting Prowess

Street Sharks: The Street Sharks didn’t have any formal training when it came to brawls, but they were part Shark. Sharks just never seem to have a problem destroying things. The fact that the Street Sharks could bite through steel and headbutt enemies made them formidable opponents indeed.

Ninja Turtles: Look at that first part. Ninja. These turtles have been trained in the arts of stealth and combat. They can sneak up on enemies and they have different battle strategies. Each of the 4 brothers also specializes in a different weapon, giving the turtles flexibility when it comes to how to take a villain out.

Winner: Ninja Turtles. Sorry, but there is just no beating a ninja in this category. The Street Sharks can kick some ass, but they only have one ungraceful way to do it. The Ninja Turtles practice for that kind of thing.

Radical Factor

Street Sharks: It is widely known that Street Sharks was an attempt at creating a “cool” product for kids, and back then sayings like “radical” were cool. Thus the Street Sharks enjoyed junk food and had catch phrases like “jawsome”! To our eight year old selves, things like that were totally radical. Some other things the Street Sharks had going for them were cool gadgets like jet packs, the fact one of them was a drummer, and, oh yeah, they were freaking sharks. That’s pretty radical.

Ninja Turtles: They are ninjas. They like pizza and skateboarding. There are still Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movies being made. All of this adds up to the Ninja Turtles being pretty awesome. The catchphrase “cowabunga” also didn’t have a pun in it, which makes it better. If they had been Ninja Cows that catchphrase would have been terrible.

Winner: Ninja Turtles. The two teams of brothers stack up pretty closely on the radical scale. The deciding factor was one of the Street Sharks, Streex, was known for his rollerblading ways. That’s not very radical, dude.

Winner: Ninja Turtles

In the end, an imitation can never stand up to the original. With that said, Street Sharks was still an awesome show. They don’t hold a candle to the Ninja Turtles though.

Popularity: 2% [?]