Humor District

The annual MTV Video Music Awards are a pretty big deal. This event brings in some big names and performances, as movie and television stars present awards, and musicians put on mini concerts and accept awards. To give you an idea of how big this event is, some of the names in attendance included Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, Eminem, and Kanye West. With this kind of lineup, MTV wanted to get a big name host for the awards show, somebody who could really get a crowd going. Unfortunately they Got Chelsea Handler. A host is supposed to keep the crowd entertained between performances and awards being handed out, and to keep the show moving on time. Chelsea Handler fell far short of entertaining, the one blemish on an otherwise greatly enjoyable VMA show.

We Had High Hopes

Chelsea Handler is best known for her talk show Chelsea Lately. Chelsea Lately is a consistently entertaining show, and this is because Chelsea Handler has such a candid sense of humor. She basically says whatever is on her mind during her show. This leads to some hilarious interviews, and for the most part her jokes are actually pretty funny. Those of us who had seen her show had high hopes that she would be a good host for the VMAs. We should have known that her style of humor would not make the transition to this big stage.

Racist Humor is Still Racist

The MTV VMAs is a racially diverse event. Good musicians come in all sizes, shapes, and colors. With the kind of ethnic melting pot that is the VMAs, there really is no place for racial humor, especially because this is an event to honor those musicians. Chelsea Handler started off the show by joking that she had brought a gun past security, claiming she wasn’t searched because she is white. It was not a good joke to start off the show, it immediately fell flat. First off, with the big names in attendance and the high security surrounding the event, jokes about guns are not appropriate. Racial humor like that is even worse. It was just the beginning though.

Don’t Rely on Off Color Humor

Chelsea Handler is known for her off color humor. In that sense, a lot of the blame can be placed on the organizers of the event rather than Chelsea for the content of her jokes. Still, she could have done a lot to clean up her act without losing the humor. Unfortunately she decided the best way to be funny was to bash the musical talent around her. That would have been great if she was hosting a roast, but this was an awards ceremony. Simultaneously honoring people for their work while the host relentlessly makes fun of them just doesn’t feel right.

Not Ready for the Bigger Stage

Perhaps the biggest problem that Chelsea Handler had all night was that she never looked comfortable when she was on the stage. She stuttered through many of her jokes, fidgeted, and just overall felt and looked awkward. Stage presence is very important with any performer. If they don’t feel comfortable the audience notices, and it takes the audience out of the moment. Most jokes will fall short with some, you can’t please everybody all the time, and that can be forgiven. It is harder for an audience to forgive somebody who simply appears to not be ready for the bright lights.

Surrounded by Bigger Names

Perhaps one of the biggest factors in Chelsea Handlers flop of a performance was the fact that she was surrounded by huge names. Obviously a host for a show as big as this wants to be memorable, which can be hard to do when you are introducing performances by Eminem and Lady Gaga. Perhaps this is the reason she amped up the off color humor, as a defense mechanism against the bigger names. Maybe she thought controversy would make her hosting performance more memorable. Either way, it is a shame that she felt she had to go the way she did, she could have done much better.

Popularity: 12% [?]

50 Cent on Twitter is pretty entertaining. You never know whether he’s kidding or if he’s serious. Well I’m here to tell you it’s neither. He’s playing you. We all expect 50 to be a badass gangster rapper 24/7 and that’s exactly how he’s selling himself on Twitter. What many people don’t realise though, he is a force to be reckoned with in business beyond music. In 2008 he sold Vitamin Water to Coca-Cola for $150 Million, his biggest money spinner to date and that’s just the tip of the iceberg that is the 50 Cent Empire.

Anyways, let’s have a look at some of the more entertaining tweets from the man:

I just got off stage in dominican republic only70,000 ppl I performed w/ wisin y yandel. I'm backstage gettin my dick sucked I gotta go lol

August 30, 2010 9:21 am via ÜberSocialOrigReplyRetweetFavorite

@50cent

50cent

After the movie I went to see my bitch shana cause she gives me free food. She work at the drive thru over at mc donalds and shit

August 29, 2010 2:32 am via ÜberSocialOrigReplyRetweetFavorite

@50cent

50cent

Check out my new background. This is for ladies only I don't want you cock sucking niggas looking at this lol

August 31, 2010 12:55 am via ÜberSocialOrigReplyRetweetFavorite

@50cent

50cent

Now let’s sit back and watch 50 Cent being interviewed on CNBC’s Power Lunch talking about the book he co-authored, The 50th Law. Different person. A person I’d totally buy Vitamin Water for $150 Million from.

Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 1% [?]

Neil Gaiman is a highly acclaimed author of novels, short stories, and comic books. His comic book series The Sandman proved that comics could be a literary art form and not just for kids. The Sandman was the story of Morpheus, the Lord of Dreams, beginning from his imprisonment on earth to the rebuilding of his kingdom. Over the years The Sandman has built up a cult following, and a movie based off of the series was discussed back in the 90′s. Things fell through in the movie talks, as nobody could imagine the entire Sandman series being encompassed in a single movie. The focus has now shifted to turning The Sandman into an ongoing television series.

Warner Bros has begun talks to acquire The Sandman television rights from DC Entertainment. As you can see, a Sandman television show is very much in the preliminary stages. There are still many questions about how the series would be done. It would be very expensive to have a live action show that captures the feel of The Sandman comic, but a live action show might garner more interest than an animated show. One positive thing is that Warner Bros is looking at Eric Kripke, creator of Supernatural, to helm The Sandman television project. It will be interesting to see what, if anything, develops this time around.

Popularity: 2% [?]

Television is made to entertain us, and some shows do that better than others. The quality of a show can be measured by how eager you are to see the next episode. Some shows bring you back week after week with intense cliff hangers, some make you feel a connection with the characters, and some are just so entertaining that there is just no possible way you could miss a single week. The worst part about these shows is that they are not on all year long, and for most of them we have to spend the summer months watching reruns. Now is the glorious time when the shows awaken from their sweaty hibernations and rise to entertain us once again!

Californication

Hank Moody is one of the greatest characters on television, mainly because David Duchovny is a superb actor for the role. Californication is one of the best shows on television because Hank Moody is such a great character. He is an immensely talented writer who has a plethora of personal problems such as excessive drinking, a bad temper, and bedding practically every woman he meets. That last one might not seem like much of a problem, but he is still in love with the mother of his daughter. As you can imagine, this makes for some very interesting story lines.

Dexter

Who would have thought that a show could make you root for a serial killer. That is exactly what Dexter does, mostly because the titular character only kills those who deserve. Well, those that he decides deserve it. At least most of the time. Sometimes mistakes are made and then the plot thickens. The season 4 finale was also one of the most powerful and shocking finales that I have ever seen on television. It left us with so many questions that we simply cannot wait for the 5th season of Dexter to start. Unfortunately the studio isn’t giving us a choice.

Entourage

The wait between weekly episodes of Entourage seems like it takes forever. This is because we are looking forward to each episode so much. It is like when you are waiting for an important package in the mail, it always seems like it takes forever to arrive. Entourage has done a superb job over the years creating a number of great characters, such as Ari Gold, Lloyd, and Turtle. Those three supporting characters are often more interesting than the main character Vince, who can be quite annoying at times. It is a shame that that this series will only be around for one more season.

Family Guy

Family Guy is the definition of hilarity. The irreverent humor isn’t for everyone, but those of us with the refined senses of humor that Family Guy requires can’t stop laughing during episodes. Watching a fat guy fight a giant chicken for 5 straight minutes never fails to elicit some giggles. Family Guy is definitely a show that pushes the boundaries of good taste, but that is one of the reasons we tune in every week to watch it. We want to see just how far this animated family will take a joke.

South Park

South Park has been around for a while now, but it is just as entertaining as always. What makes South Park such a great show, besides seeing little cardboard cutout kids curse like sailors, is how in touch the show stays with current events. Whenever there is a big cultural event in the world, you can count on South Park to make fun of it. A great example of this was when South Park had an episode about Somalian pirates. We always tune on South Park just to see what new ways they can make fun of the world we live in next.

Popularity: 8% [?]

Hey There is something about watching sports that gets every guy pumped up. Seeing your favorite receiver snag a touchdown on a one handed diving catch can easily become the highlight of your work. That is why so many TV shows are about sports and focus on those epic moments where the season is on the line and the team just has to win one for the Gipper. Some sports shows focus on highlights from actual games, and some chronicle the on and off field dilemmas of fictional teams. One thing these shows all have in common is they make us want to cheer on the teams.

SportsCenter

When it comes to sports shows, SportsCenter is the king. Remember those plays mentioned in the first paragraph? The ones that make the hair on the back of your neck stand up and cheer until your voice cracks like a prepubescent boy? SportsCenter is essentially a highlight show made up entirely of those plays. When you want to see the best of the best in athletic performances, you turn on SportsCenter and watch their Top 10 plays.

Hard Knocks

Hard Knocks is one of the best shows on HBO, and that’s saying something. Over the years Hard Knocks has profiled different NFL teams as they go through preseason, showing the routines of veterans, the struggles of new players, and the tough decisions that head coaches have to make. One of the saddest scenes you will see on television is when a player is called into the coach’s office and told to hand in his playbook. For a lot of these guys football is their life, and Hard Knocks does a great job of humanizing these athletes that most of us look up to in awe.

Friday Night Lights

When it comes to shows depicting fictional sports teams, there are none better than Friday Night Lights. Friday Night Lights follows the Dillon Panthers high school football team as they struggle to overcome adversity on and off the football team. The main theme of this show is how small town high school athletes are often placed on a pedestal by those around them, leading to a ridiculous amount of pressure that most teenagers don’t know how to handle. More importantly, the football game scenes are very well done and entertaining as hell.

Shaq Vs.

Hey

Shaquille O’Neal is one of the most outspoken and outgoing professional athletes who has ever lived. He also happens to be one of the best players the NBA has seen. This all adds up to a great show as Shaq takes on professional athletes in other sports and tries to beat them at their own games. A man who tops 7 feet can only be so athletic, so most of these challenges are pretty comedic, with Shaq losing regularly. Still, the big man is an impressive athlete, and he would definitely beat us regular guys at pretty much every sport.

Pros Vs. Joes

Speaking of us regular guys, how often have you seen a basketball player miss a shot or a football player drop a pass and proclaim that you could have done better? Admit it, we all do it. Unlike me, most people are mistaken in their assessments of their athletic abilities. While I totally could have made that play, Pros Vs. Joes prove that when most people try to run by a 250 lb middle linebacker they get absolutely flattened. Occasionally a Joe makes a great play against a Pro, giving the rest of you hope in your meager abilities, but most of the time the Joes fail, and that failure is fun to watch. Just for the record, I’d dominate that show.

Hew

Popularity: 5% [?]

A popular hobby on the internet seems to be dubbing old children’s shows. Dubbing consists of doing voice overs for the characters, which usually means we see Scooby Doo uttering an assortment of profanities. As juvenile as this might seem, the results are often hilarious. I could get into a lengthy explanation of how the juxtaposition of innocent characters and naughty language provides an entertaining amount of shock value, but I think I’ll let the results speak for themselves. Be warned, there are naughty words ahead!

I’m the Juggernaut, Bitch!

This dubbed episode of The X-Men is quite possibly the most famous dub ever done. This dub is so well known that when the Juggernaut was introduced in the X-Men movies, he actually uttered the famous line: “I’m the goddamn Juggernaut!” That is pretty much the highest peak of internet fame one can achieve. It is a long video but it keeps the laughs coming, and I could watch it many many times before it got old. It definitely makes me want to go outside and yell that I am the Juggernaut.

Aladdin in Compton

When it comes to dubs that are all about being vulgar, Aladdin from Compton reigns supreme. I warned you about that kind of language, don’t look so shocked. Alright, so I didn’t warn you about all the drug references, stop being such a sissy. If you didn’t laugh when the monkey started doing his little dance, you are dead inside. It might not be fair to dub a video with a dancing monkey, as that is already hilarious, but Aladdin from Compton is pretty entertaining all the way around.

G.I. Joe Teaches a Very Important Lesson

The old G.I. Joe cartoons are perhaps best known for the public service announcements at the end of each episode. Various Joes would warn children about the dangers of sticking their heads in microwaves or getting into the backs of windowless vans. The G.I. Joe PSA dubs are hilarious for the bad advice the Joes are giving children, and also threatening children. Apparently seeing giant muscled men threaten awkward little children is the height of hilarity.

Dirty Dirty Dinosaurs

Dinosaurs was kind of a dirty show on its own. There were plenty of adult oriented jokes that went over my little head when I used to watch it. This dub ran with the adult theme and took it to some pretty extreme levels. This Dinosaurs dub rivals the Aladdin from Compton dub in terms of pure vulgarity. Those of you who are as immature as I am will find this dub just as hilarious as the Aladdin one.

Skeletor’s Stinky Sh… Poop

Speaking of immature, this dub is about Skeletor’s nefarious plot to beat He-Man by pooping in a box. That is absolutely hilarious to me, and Skeletor’s insistence that this will work makes this one of the best dubs ever. The sad part is this isn’t that much more far fetched than most of Skeletor’s actual plots in the He-Man cartoon. When they get around to making a new live action He-Man movie, there will almost certainly be a reference to pooping in a box. I’d bet Orco’s life on it.

Popularity: 7% [?]

It has already been reported that Steve Carell does not plan on returning to play Michael Scott on The Office. This is some very disappointing news. While Jim Halpert and Dwight Schrute are great characters, it cannot be denied that Michael Scott is the driving force of the show. The real question now is who will replace Steve Carell?

A Michael Scott replacement needs to both be funny and able to move the story along. The biggest worry is The Office will grow stagnant without a character the exacerbates misunderstandings and is just an all around lovable idiot. That brings up another question: Should Michael Scott’s replacement be a Michael Scott clone? Steve Carell has been so great as Michael Scott that we will most likely look at the replacement and say that they’re no Michael Scott. That comparison just can’t be avoided. Whoever is brought in will be living in Michael Scott’s long and goofy shadow. That’s enough focusing on the negative, let’s look at who some replacement candidates might be.

Danny McBride could be a good replacement if he channels the Kenny Powers in him. Here we would have a boss character that is not too bright, very loud and egotistical, yet still just wants to be loved by everyone. We could also expect more episodes to focus on sexual harassment.

David Koechner has already been on The Office as Michael Scott’s friend Todd Packer, so he would be a familiar face to fans of the show. He has also already played an incompetent boss in the movie Waiting. Here we have another unintelligent replacement candidate, but once again we could expect a few more sexual harassment story lines. Then again, who says that is a bad thing?

Popularity: 8% [?]

It used to be that one of the big forms of entertainment was puppet shows. People would gather around a puppeteer as they put on little shows for the enjoyment of all. While our forms of entertainment have gotten a little more high tech than puppets these days, that doesn’t mean that puppets don’t still have a special place in our hearts. Many of us grew up with puppets being featured on some of our favorite shows, and even all grown up there are some puppets we can still appreciate.

Howdy Doody

Howdy Doody is the puppet that your grandparents grew up with. He was a little red headed cowboy puppet who entertained children from 1947 until 1960. Apparently television was around in 1947, I am just as surprised as you are. Howdy Doody was one of the first shows that got the audience involved, as the beginning of every show featured a live studio audience singing the theme song along with Howdy Doody. Your grandparents probably sang along too, sitting in front of their super expensive 8 inch television with the grainy black and white picture. Ask them about it, it will bring up fond memories and long rambling stories.

Lamb Chop

Lamb Chop was the main character in a more recent children’s show. She was a little lamb who had a very adventurous spirit and liked to explore during Lamb Chop’s Play-Along. Lamb Chop would invariably run into some sort of problem and need her puppeteer or other puppets to help her solve problems. This formula for adorableness apparently worked, as Lamb Chop’s Play-Along won 5 Emmy Awards. While the original Lamb Chop puppeteer, Shari Lewis, has passed away, Mallory Lewis is keeping her mother’s puppet alive.

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog

Here we have a puppet that is definitely not for the kids, despite the fact that Triumph the Insult Comic Dog is best known for his infantile humor. Triumph is best known for saying complimenting somebody by saying they are great… to poop on! See, that is comedy right there. Scatological references and the occasional curse word. Still, a foul mouthed doberman with an eastern European accent makes for a surprisingly entertaining puppet. We probably won’t see Triumph on any kid’s shows any time soon, but he will still be making appearances on late night television.

Elmo

Elmo has perfected the ability to be adorable. He has had a lot of time to work on this being a main character on Sesame Street, which has been around since 1969. I personally think the fame has gone to Elmo’s head, as he now insists on referring to himself in the third person. Nonetheless, Elmo has done an unbelievable job connecting with children and is one of the most easily recognizable characters on television. No kid would be scared of having the furry red monster jump out of their closet.

Kermit the Frog

Kermit the Frog is the greatest character ever made by the guy who put Sesame Street together, Jim Henson. Henson hit pure gold when he created the green icon known as Kermit the Frog. Kermit started off his career as the host of The Muppet Show and quickly became the most popular of all the Muppets. He has starred in movies, appeared on Sesame Street, recorded hit songs, and even written an autobiography. Every time a puppet is made, it hopes it can reach the heights of success that Kermit has. Well, at least the people who created the puppet are hoping for that.

Popularity: 3% [?]

Not every show can be as entertaining as Entourage or Wipeout, in fact, some can be pretty atrocious. As a result, many shows don’t last very long on the air. It is not uncommon to hear of shows being cancelled after their first season, or even halfway through a season. Those shows were pretty bad, but they were bearable. At least kind of. We don’t need to talk about those shows, as there are very many of them. What we will talk about are those shows that were so atrocious that they couldn’t make it past a single episode. Somebody somewhere came to work drunk and gave these shows the green light. One can only assume that somebody lives in a cardboard box these days. These are absolute train wrecks of shows, but at least we can look back on them and laugh.

Secret Talents of the Stars

Secret Talents of the Stars was a game show that featured celebrities showing off little know talents. Contestants in the first, and only, episode included George Takei, Sacha Cohen, Clint Black, and Ben Stein. Takei performed a country song, and did decently. It also led up to a very controversial moment. One of the judges made a comment about George Takei looking like one of the stars of Brokeback Mountain. When you realize that Takei is openly homosexual, it becomes clear that this was not a very appropriate comment to make. Worst of all none of the stars’ talents were very entertaining, and the show was cancelled after a single episode. The biggest surprise was that audience members actually took the time to vote on performances.

Osbournes: Reloaded

The Osbournes are a very odd family. That is why so many people watched the Osbournes’ reality show. The next step was to give them a variety show called Osbournes: Reloaded. The family did such outrageous skits as showing Sharon Osbourne working a real job instead of rolling in piles of money. Seeing as this was one of their best ideas for a skit, it is not surprising that Osbournes: Reloaded didn’t make it past a single episode. The show was on Fox, but many local stations cancelled it before an episode even aired due to the fact that the Osbournes were a little too vulgar for most American families.

Emily’s Reasons Why Not

Heather Graham is very attractive. Emily’s Reasons Why Not was a show based on Heather Graham’s character Emily not being able to find a guy. Basically she made lists of why guys weren’t right for her, even though most guys would gladly change whatever they could to make it on her list. Remember that guy we previously mentioned who now lives in a box? That was most likely the fate of everybody who gave this show the thumbs up, as apparently nobody even bothered to watch the pilot before giving it the OK.

Turn-On

Turn-On was a variety show that aired in 1969. It has the rare distinction of actually being cancelled halfway through the premier of the first episode. This was due to the extremely offensive nature of many of the skits shown. One of the skits was simply scrolling homosexual messages across the screen, while another featured a firing squad propositioning a woman before shooting, and a third featured a diagram for a table shaped as a swastika. It is actually shocking that sketches like those were approved in the first place. This show should have been cancelled before a single episode was aired.

Liza and David

Liza Minnelli is a very entertaining woman, but her former husband David Gest was just a pain in the ass. Liza and David was a reality show proposed by VH1 that would follow the couple around as they did things that were assumed to be entertaining. The only problem was David Gest had made it his mission in life to make everyone around him miserable. He would constantly cancel filming at the last second, and abused the camera crew whenever they did something he didn’t like. He didn’t like much of anything. Eventually VH1 got tired of Gest and scrapped the whole show. The pilot episode never even made it on to the air.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Starz had a hit with the first season of Spartacus: Blood and Sand, so they decided to capitalize by not only working on a second season of the show, but also making a prequel show. The prequel, Spartacus: Gods of the Arena, really won’t have much to do with Spartacus. Instead it will focus on the house of Batiatus, played by John Hannah, before Spartacus shows up and dominates everybody. Expect to see an intriguing look into the inequality of social classes in ancient Rome, along with the responsibilities of those in charge of the care for others. I’m just kidding, it is going to feature a bunch of very muscular men in leather underoos killing each other in extremely over the top ways.

For fans of the first season of Spartacus: Blood and Sand, there will be a few familiar faces returning for Spartacus: Gods of the Arena. First, Batiatus and his wife Lucretia will have prominent roles in the series, and will still be played by John Hannah and Lucy Lawless. The gladiator Crixus will also be returning, played by Manu Bennett. Crixus will once again be playing second fiddle to another gladiator, this time Gannicus, the first Champion of Capua. Gannicus will be played by Dustin Clare, an Australian actor I’ve never heard of before. New cast members joining Clare will be Jaime Murray and Marisa Ramirez, who will be playing Gaia and Melitta respectively. Gaia is a friend of Lucretia and Melitta is a slave who will be getting very friendly with a gladiator. At least that is my assumption. Best of all the real Spartacus, Andy Whitfield will occasionally make appearances, so I guess that justifies the show being named after him. Actually, best of all might be Jaime Murray.

Popularity: 3% [?]