Humor District

It seems that the only time commercials are really talked about is during the Super Bowl. This makes sense, as most Super Bowl commercials are well done since 30 seconds of ad time costs a company more than the GNP of most countries. While that is the only time that commercials are widely talked about, there always seems to be a commercial out that is just absolutely hilarious. This is the commercial that will cause conversations to be paused until it is over. In some cases, these commercials are actually more entertaining than the shows they are interrupting. Let’s take a look at some recent commercials that did a good job making us want to buy their products, or at least laugh.

I’m on a Horse

Old Spice earned my customer loyalty with this commercial. They could sell me deodorant that made me smell like a pig farm and I would probably buy it, at least after a sales pitch like Isaiah Mustafa gives in this commercial. I feel like this commercial should come with a disclaimer, stating that using it will not give you magical abilities to fill an oyster with tickets that turn into diamonds. I know I was slightly disappointed when I put on that Old Spice and it only slightly improved my odor rather than making me rich. Seriously though, who could resist buying a product that will make you smell like Isaiah Mustafa?

Steve Nash Promotes Vitamin Water

Steve Nash is best known for being absolutely hilarious. I hear he is also a decent basketball player. He is most likely best known as the spokesman for Vitamin Water, he should definitely be in more of their television commercials. Unfortunately Vitamin Water usually has their commercial starring another decent basketball player, Lebron James of the (insert team here), playing on TV instead. I say we start a write in campaign to get more Steve Nash on TV, besides those 82 other times he’s on every year.

Captain Night Owl

Captain Morgan has been putting out a lot of entertaining commercials recently. One of the best has definitely been the commercial profiling Captain Night Owl. We all have that friend who considers 12:00 am – 2:00 am warm up time and really hits his stride at around 3:00 am. Captain Morgan just decided to portray that night owl as, well, an actual owl. There is something creepy yet hilarious about seeing a man-owl turn his head all the way around to check out a cutie.

Domino’s Oreo Pizza

By writing the header “Domino’s Oreo Pizza”, I have probably done just about all the marketing work necessary to get people to buy a pizza made out of Oreos. Domino’s decided that wasn’t enough, and went on to create a hilarious commercial. All guys remember the patchy facial hair that first grew in, all thin and pathetic looking and plaguing me to this day. This commercial feeds right into those early facial hair days and offers some reassuring words. The first line of “that’s not stuff, Meredith” also made me giggle. I have to thank my friend Dave for finding this commercial, he grows nice facial hair.

Egypt’s Weird Perception of Pandas

This is not a commercial that you will likely see in the United States. Nonetheless, it is one of the most entertaining commercials I have ever seen. It is for some Egyptian product called Panda Cheese. The name of the product is the most normal part of this commercial. I don’t really know how to describe this commercial other than it involves a nurse trying to give a patient Panda Cheese, the patient refusing, and the Panda being an asshole. Apparently Egypt isn’t so sad about Pandas being endangered.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Game shows are great. We get to watch people win large amounts of money over short periods of time using skills that are useless anywhere else, it’s basically the American dream. Plus we are all thinking that we could do better than the chump we are watching compete. Our desire to see people win is only surpassed by our desire to see them lose, and nowhere is that more true than in game shows featuring obstacle courses. It is humorous to us when somebody not only comes up short of the prize but also ends up muddy and a little beat up. That is why game shows featuring obstacle courses are the best of the best. I suppose that makes the following shows the best of the best of the best.

Wipeout

Wipeout is the type of obstacle course that people watch and think, “hey, I could actually do that”. Fortunately for viewers, most people actually can’t do that. The show isn’t called Wipeout for nothing, and the contestants who fall short are most often far more entertaining than those who complete the course successfully. The fact that the show’s fitness requirement seems to be somewhere between beached whale and gelatinous blob definitely adds to the humor. If none of that catches your attention, one of the hosts, Jill Wagner, is pretty easy on the eyes. Enjoy the picture of her to make up for the music in the Wipeout video clip.

MXC

MXC or Most Extreme Elimination Challenge was the funniest obstacle course show ever. We all know that everything strange ever has probably originated in Japan, and obstacle course game shows are no exception as proven with obstacles like muddy balls, where contestants stand in a mud pit and have to catch a soccer ball that has been launched high in the air. In all fairness the name muddy balls was given by the American producers who dubbed the old Japanese show Takeshi’s Castle, but I like to believe the original name was probably stranger. The best part of MXC was definitely the play by play and color commentary of Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano along with Kenny Blankenship’s Painful Eliminations.

Ninja Warrior

Ninja Warrior is basically the exact opposite of Wipeout. The general fitness level on Ninja Warrior ranges from Olympic athlete to teenager who gained superpowers through an irradiated spider bite. Another difference is the fact that the Ninja Warrior obstacle course isn’t one you watch and think “I would totally win”. You think “I could train for the next six months and maybe get past the first obstacle”. Here is the type of challenge you can expect from Ninja Warrior.

Fortunately Ninja Warrior isn’t all beastly men who conquer everything, and there is plenty of failure to be seen as well.

Unbeatable Banzuke

Remember when I said everything weird ever came from Japan? I think Unbeatable Banzuke strengthens that theory. Unbeatable Banzuke is an obstacle course geared towards one very specific talent, whether that talent is riding a unicycle or walking on your hands. The show isn’t called Unbeatable Banzuke for nothing though, and the combination of the oddly specific skill required along with the difficulty of the obstacle course provides for many failed attempts. Plus you can even laugh at the winners for being the best unicycle riders.

Legends of the Hidden Temple

Legends of the Hidden Temple was an old show on Nickelodeon that featured kids answering trivia questions and running through a series of physical challenges. While the physical challenges look far less challenging than they used to, it is still hilarious to see the little kids freak out when the Temple Guard pop out in front of them. That and Olmec is the most bad ass talking stone head ever. Just for the record, I would totally dominate Legends of the Hidden Temple.

Popularity: 6% [?]

With the emergence of the Twilight series, vampires have found a new popularity in mainstream media. Some aren’t happy about Twilight’s depiction of sparkly vampires, but it cannot be denied that Twilight has been beneficial to the crazy throat ripping vampires as well, as vampire popularity has increased in general. A good example of this is with HBO’s series True Blood, which has become tremendously popular. Now that vampires are in vogue once again, it is a good time to look at 5 of the best vampire shows to be seen on television.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

When it comes to vampire shows, nothing beats Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Not only was Sarah Michelle Gellar super hot as she killed vampires, but the vampires themselves were pretty kick ass. They weren’t the sparkly and sympathetic vampires, but the kind that just wanted to suck your blood and maybe cop a feel at the same time. It wasn’t until the emergence of Angel that there was the sensitive type, but that was okay because he stilled busted heads. Joss Whedon definitely had a winner with Buffy.

True Blood

True Blood is HBO’s attempt at  a vampire series, and they hit this one out of the park. True Blood takes full advantage of HBO’s allowance of nudity, really focusing on the passion of vampires. Apparently vampires are very passionate. What makes True Blood stand out amongst other vampire shows is how the vampires try to live their lives as normal people, drinking only synthesized blood. Of course you cannot change the nature of the beast, so there is plenty of action to be seen.

The Vampire Diaries

The Vampire Diaries was basically the television version of Twilight. It followed high schoolers, some of whom happened to be vampires, as they go through their normal high school drama of who likes who and who is a pale bloodless corpse. The CW station was not known for the quality of its shows, so The Vampire Diaries was a bit of a pleasant surprise. This show was definitely aimed more towards teenage girls, but it was undoubtedly popular and well done.

Being Human

Being Human was one of the best series on the BBC. It didn’t particularly focus on vampires, focusing more on everything supernatural, but one of the main characters was a vampire as were many of the characters they ran into. It followed three roommates, a vampire, ghost, and werewolf, as they got into misadventures with other supernatural creatures and often speaking on the mystery of death. It was equal parts morbid and humorous, and all entertaining.

Moonlight

Moonlight was another vampire show definitely geared towards a female audience. As long as vampire stories have been around, there has been an air of sexuality and romance around them, and that is exactly what Moonlight focuses on. The part where the main character is also a private investigator is pretty awesome as well. There are few things as entertaining as vampire detective tracking down criminals, fighting other vampires, and loving human women.

Popularity: 4% [?]

We are coming up on that time of year when many of our favorite shows are coming to an end. Some will be back after a brief hiatus, but others won’t have any new episodes. It has long been a theme to have the last episode of a season, and especially series, be a special event that shakes the foundation of the show. The purpose of the season finale is to leave you with an episode that brings you back for more, which is why they are so often cliffhangers. Some have done better than others, and these are the season finales that have not only brought people back for future seasons, but have had a tremendous impact on the series in general.

Who Shot Mr. Burns – The Simpsons

The Simpsons basically spoofed an old season finale of Dallas with their Who Shot Mr. Burns story arc. The finale had Mr. Burns plotting to build a device that would block out the sun and make the citizens of Springfield rely on his power plant to provide light for them. It was a cruel and devious plan, even by his standards. Of course everyone in Springfield was outraged by this, and at the end of the episode Mr. Burns was shot. The only problem was that everyone in town could be considered a suspect. Mr. Burns has never won any popularity contests. Fox built up the mystery with various promotional deals and contests, and we were left with a Simpsons episode we would never forget.

The Kiss – The Office

Jim and Pam’s romance on The Office is something we take for granted these days. It seems so long ago that Jim was constantly hanging around Pam’s desk and Pam was engaged to some guy in the warehouse. The season finale of season 2 had Jim finally confess his love for Pam in the middle of a rainy parking lot. She looked at him, they had a moment, then she said no and ran away. It looked like all was lost for Jim, until he tracked her down. While Pam might have been saying no, her body was most definitely saying yes. Jim and Pam end the episode with a kiss that cements their romance for the rest of the series.

Borgified – Star Trek: The Next Generation

Captain Jean-Luc Picard was the indomitable Captain of the USS Enterprise who had triumphed over every alien threat he had faced. He was the stalwart character, the leading man who could do no wrong. You just don’t expect anything to happen to a character like that. He just saves the day. That was the story until the Borg showed up at the end of Season 3. The Borg proved that resistance was futile, and set about assimilating people all over the place. This time there was no last second triumph, as Captain Jean-Luc Picard was Borgified himself, becoming that which he most despised.

The Mystery of Cartman’s Father – South Park

There are several themes in South Park. Kenny is poor, Stan and Kyle learn life lessons each episode, and Cartman’s mom is a big slut and possible drug addict. The promiscuous ways of Cartman’s mom led up to the events of the season 1 finale. Cartman’s mom had been with so many men, that nobody could be sure of who Cartman’s father actually was. Cartman was seriously hoping that his dad was John Elway of the Denver Broncos, but pretty much every other guy on the team was potentially his father as well. With most of the town gathered around Cartman, the mystery of his father was soon to be revealed, with lasting repercussions. It was not until the 201st episode that the mystery of Cartman’s father was truly solved.

Grave Danger – CSI

By season 5, most of us were tired of seeing the same old routine of the crime being solved after the CSI team analyzes a boot print, bullet casing, or semen sample. Luckily the season 5 finale shook things up by bringing in Quentin Tarantino to direct the episode. It was one of the most suspenseful episodes in the series, with one of the main characters, Nick Stokes, becoming trapped in a coffin. If that wasn’t creepy enough, the coffin has plenty of devious contraptions to prevent his escape or rescue. Quentin Tarantino did a great job in mixing things up on this season finale.

Popularity: 4% [?]

The old Super Friends cartoon was pretty ridiculous. It is still fun to watch, but that is because we like to laugh at the pure cheesiness of it. The animation was poor, the dialogue was subpar, yet it had a great amount of success. The same can be said for Taco Bell. They don’t have the best ingredients, you might get hepatitis from their burritos, but we still can’t stop eating there. It sounds like the two were made for each other.

Taco Bell has gone above and beyond with their newest ad campaign, featuring animated shorts of characters with a definite Super Friends kind of vibe to them. Even the animation and subpar dialogue is similar. The Super Delicious Ingredient Force is absolutely hilarious. It is a shame that Taco Bell doesn’t always have commercials of this quality, in fact, most of their commercials are terrible. You won’t see this commercial on television, but you can visit the Super Delicious Ingredient Force website for more videos. The safety message at the end is a nice touch.

Popularity: 3% [?]

To guys the L Word in principle sounds like the greatest show on earth. Hot lesbians getting sloppy and having sex willy-nilly all over the place. Awesome. Watch an episode and you’ll see the sex happens few and far between and the show is quite frankly, and it pains me to say this, fucking boring. Luckily for you and I MadeMen got their resident lesbian and L Word fangirl, Gabriel, in to give us a run down of the hottest L Word scenes to ever grace our screens. However what she did forget to do is complement her post with relevant videos. You’re welcome. by the way. Anyways over to Gabriel:

When considering girl-on-girl action, nothing is sexier than these 5 hottest “The L Word” scenes. These scenes feature the hot ladies of the Showtime hit “The L Word” showing off their best assets. Many of the scenes leave nothing to the imagination, while some leave everything to it. Regardless of the setting, each of these scenes left a blazing memory with its viewers as being amongst the hottest of the “The L Word” scenes.

1. Bette and Candace, season one.

This jail scene has been listed by several sites as one of the hottest scenes in spite of the lack of physical contact. Bette and Candace show just how far your mind can take you when oral contact is all you have.

2. Jenny and Carmen, season two.

Jenny and Carmen take the concept of water play to the next level in this steamy season two scene. Even if you are not into the kink yourself, you cannot help but enjoy these two women living their own special water fetish. It’s no wonder that this scene is listed as one of the top 5 hottest.

Place holder video of Jenny & Carmen getting it on in various scenes which will be replaced with the elusive water fetish scene Gabriel doth speaketh of.

3. Jenny and Nikky, season five.

One of the very first scenes of its kind outside of the adult movie industry. The use of girl-on-girl, plus a strap-on, is amazingly well done in this top scene. The scene leaves nothing to the imagination, but that really doesn’t hurt anything. This brings a whole new twist to girl-on-girl action.

4. Shane and Carmen, season two finale.

The season two finale features Shane and Cameron giving the fans just what they wanted and needed for two seasons. It is the perfect anticipation builder and a no-brainer for the top 5 hottest “The L Word” scenes.

5. Marina and Jenny, season one.

Let the cheating begin! After four years of happily-ever-after, Jenny finally decides that Marina is just the person to break that cycle. Their hot scene and chemistry-heavy build up is simply astounding and a sure topper for this top five list.

Popularity: 16% [?]

It has already been brought up that the Street Sharks were very similar to the Ninja Turtles. Both shows featured four mutated brothers teaming up to fight crime. The question arises, which team was cooler. On one side you have man-sharks that can bite their way through a horde of criminals, while on the other side there are turtles who have learned the way of ninjutsu from a rat. Both seem pretty solidly stacked, so we will divide this competition into a series of categories. Whichever team that wins the most categories will be named the victor. Let’s get this party started.

Origins

Street Sharks: The Street Sharks came into being when an evil scientist experiments on 4 brothers with a genetic manipulator device. The scientist wanted to turn everyone into mindless mutants so he could take over and avoid crowds at movie theaters. This immediately gave the Street Sharks a villain and a purpose. They sent the rest of the series preventing the scientist from turning everyone into mutants while trying to revert to their human form as well

Ninja Turtles: These 4 brothers started out as turtles rather than humans, but gained some human like qualities after they were soaked in a chemical known as ooze. This made the turtles grow and learn English as they were raised by a rat similarly transformed by the ooze. The rat taught them the way of the ninja, and the turtles began their career of crime-fighting while at the same time trying to solve the mystery of the ooze.

Winner: Ninja Turtles. Their origins presents not only bad guys but a mystery to solve, making the show’s beginning just a bit more interesting.

Fighting Prowess

Street Sharks: The Street Sharks didn’t have any formal training when it came to brawls, but they were part Shark. Sharks just never seem to have a problem destroying things. The fact that the Street Sharks could bite through steel and headbutt enemies made them formidable opponents indeed.

Ninja Turtles: Look at that first part. Ninja. These turtles have been trained in the arts of stealth and combat. They can sneak up on enemies and they have different battle strategies. Each of the 4 brothers also specializes in a different weapon, giving the turtles flexibility when it comes to how to take a villain out.

Winner: Ninja Turtles. Sorry, but there is just no beating a ninja in this category. The Street Sharks can kick some ass, but they only have one ungraceful way to do it. The Ninja Turtles practice for that kind of thing.

Radical Factor

Street Sharks: It is widely known that Street Sharks was an attempt at creating a “cool” product for kids, and back then sayings like “radical” were cool. Thus the Street Sharks enjoyed junk food and had catch phrases like “jawsome”! To our eight year old selves, things like that were totally radical. Some other things the Street Sharks had going for them were cool gadgets like jet packs, the fact one of them was a drummer, and, oh yeah, they were freaking sharks. That’s pretty radical.

Ninja Turtles: They are ninjas. They like pizza and skateboarding. There are still Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movies being made. All of this adds up to the Ninja Turtles being pretty awesome. The catchphrase “cowabunga” also didn’t have a pun in it, which makes it better. If they had been Ninja Cows that catchphrase would have been terrible.

Winner: Ninja Turtles. The two teams of brothers stack up pretty closely on the radical scale. The deciding factor was one of the Street Sharks, Streex, was known for his rollerblading ways. That’s not very radical, dude.

Winner: Ninja Turtles

In the end, an imitation can never stand up to the original. With that said, Street Sharks was still an awesome show. They don’t hold a candle to the Ninja Turtles though.

Popularity: 15% [?]

Seth MacFarlane is essentially a household name these days. He has been wildly successful in the television industry and has an hour and a half of his shows on Fox alone. He has taken cartoons and made them enjoyable for an older audience, while never losing sight of the hilarity of a good fart joke. Let’s take a look back and see how Seth MacFarlane got to where he is today.

The Early Days

Do you remember the old Cartoon Network shows like Johnny Bravo, Dexter’s Laboratory, and Cow and Chicken? Seth MacFarlane worked on all of them. Before he was a big time executive, he was a simple writer and animator. Yeah, Seth MacFarlane can draw too. It is almost like some sort of conspiracy where Seth MacFarlane got into our heads when we were younger by working on the cartoons we enjoyed, and then used that to create cartoons we’d enjoy after we grew up. He is a devious one.

Family Guy

Seth MacFarlane also worked on creating a series entitled The Life of Larry and Steve. Larry and Steve was about a man and his intellectual dog. If this sounds familiar it is because it is the idea that would be turned into Family Guy. Seth MacFarlane proposed the idea to Fox and received a $50,000 budget to create the pilot episode. It took half a year to make, but it was worth it. The unique blend of irreverent and often juvenile humor has proved to be extremely entertaining. Family Guy can definitely be crude at times, but it is always enjoyable. It’s immense popularity opened up many doors for MacFarlane, allowing him to create other spin-off series and Family Guy related project. He has also stated plans on making a Family Guy feature film, saying he would like it to be a musical. Seth MacFarlane is all about those musicals.

American Dad

American Dad is another show about an animated family. Seth MacFarlane created American Dad in 2005, and much like Family Guy, it caught on fast. The combination of a morally ambiguous alien and overzealous but unintelligent CIA agent living together has brought forth many laughs. While American Dad has not had the same success as Family Guy, it has done well and brought Seth MacFarlane brand new buckets of of crisp hundred dollar bills for when his Family Guy money gets wrinkled.

The Winner and Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy

Seth MacFarlan steered away from animation and it didn’t go well. He tried to create a live action series called The Winner starring Rob Corddry, about some guy trying to get with some girl. It got canceled pretty fast and, unlike Family Guy, fans did not demand to see it picked up again. This was just a minor setback for MacFarlane, as in 2008 he got right back on track. First, he signed a $100 million contract with Fox and became the highest paid television writer in the world. He also created the web series Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy that was wildly popular and later released on DVD.

The Cleveland Show

The Cleveland Show is a direct spin-off from Family Guy which sent the only African American resident of Spooner Street back to his hometown of Stoolbend. This diverse cast features African Americans, Appalachian Americans, Frat Bros, and Bears. It turned out to be another winning combination for Seth MacFarlane as The Cleveland Show was received well and is going strong. Appalachian Americans is the polite term for hillbillies by the way.

The Future

Seth MacFarlane is currently working on a movie called Ted, about a man and his Teddy Bear. Expect lots of dirty jokes and a hard “R” rating from this one. As previously mentioned, he is also interested in making a Family Guy movie for theatrical release. It can’t be said with any certainty what the future holds for Seth MacFarlane, but chances are he will remain ridiculously successful and spend his days swimming in money.

Popularity: 5% [?]

The first time we were introduced to the G.I. Joes on television was way back in 1985. Back then they were constantly facing off against Cobra, a theme that follows into modern times. With the popularity of G.I. Joes as action figures, it is no surprise to see how man reincarnations of G.I. Joe cartoons and movie there have been. Let’s take a look back on the evolution of G.I. Joe in movies and television.

G.I. Joe in 1985

The first G.I. Joe cartoon was released in 1985 by Marvel and Sunbow Productions. Marvel’s G.I. Joe comic book had been doing pretty well, so the cartoon was the next logical step. This first reincarnation was definitely aimed towards younger kids to try and convince them to buy more G.I. Joe action figures. This could also be said for pretty much every Saturday morning cartoon, I’m not judging. What this first G.I. Joe series really brought us were those oh so informative PSAs at the end of each episode. One of the Joes would teach a group of kids something about life and finish things off by saying, “And knowing is half the battle”. This first cartoon ran until 1987 when Sunbow pulled the plug.

The First G.I. Joe Movie

The first animated G.I. Joe movie came out in 1987, right around the time that the cartoon was canceled. G.I. Joe: The Movie was originally intended to be released in theaters, along with a Transformers movie and a My Little Pony movie. The Transformers movie and My Little Pony movie were released first and flopped big time, so the G.I. Joe movie was switched from a theatrical release to a straight to video release. The interesting part of the movie was that they originally killed Duke off. It was later decided to edit that part out and simply say Duke was in a coma to protect the fragile little minds of children everywhere.

The Second Cartoon

Despite selling a crapload of G.I. Joe action figures, nobody picked up the G.I. Joe cartoon series for a while after Sunbow dropped theirs. In 1989 DiC Entertainment contacted Hasbro for permission to continue the G.I. Joe series started by Marvel and Hasbro. Permission was granted and we got to see another 2 seasons of the Joes facing off against Cobra. DiC kept the same approach as Marvel and Sunbow had, but began to focus episodes on specific new characters. DiC’s series went on until 1991.

The Other Cartoons

After Dic’s series, the Joes ran into some hard times as far as their cartoons were concerned. G.I. Joe Extreme ran for 2 seasons from 1995 to 1997 and was based off a new line of G.I. Joe action figures. Extreme never really built up much of a following. In 2003 and 2004 we saw the direct to DVD movies G.I. Joe: Spy Troops and G.I. Joe: Valor Vs. Venom. Once again these latest G.I. Joe projects were widely ignored. Things got the lowest in 2005 with G.I. Joe: Sigma 6. It was canceled before all 26 episodes were aired in the US. Then came a shining beacon of hope. G.I. Joe: Resolute came and showed us that the Joes could grow and change with the original viewers. Written by Warren Ellis, the G.I. Joe: Resolute series no longer had the Cobra Commandos as inept troops with terrible aim. Both Cobra Commandos and Joes got shot, stabbed, and otherwise killed throughout this series that was by far the darkest incarnation of G.I. Joe that we have seen. It was also the most entertaining series we have seen for a long time.

The Movie

And then things went downhill again. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra was supposed to capitalize on the success of the Transformers movie, but then they cast Channing Tatum as Duke and produced an extremely sub-par movie. Not even Dennis Quaid could save the movie. On the plus side, Sienna Miller was super hot as the Baroness. She almost made the movie worth the ticket price. Almost. There hasn’t been much talk about doing another G.I. Joe movie like this one, but if there is a new one we can only hope it follows G.I. Joe: Resolute and decides to kick an enormous amount of ass. We’ve grown up and we like it when our cartoons do too.

Popularity: 2% [?]

Do you remember running into the living room on Saturday mornings when you were little, a bowl of cereal in one hand, a remote in the other? Those were the days. We would sit down and watch our favorite cartoons while acting out episodes with the toys from whatever cartoon was popular at the time. If anybody asked, you would say whatever cartoon you were watching at the time was the greatest one ever made. Then after a year or two you would completely forget about that show. This is a tribute to those forgotten cartoons.

Street Sharks

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles had their start in the 80′s and became wildly popular. Thus the Street Sharks were born. There were some subtle changes made, in Street Sharks four human brothers were turned into shark-like human mutants rather than four turtle brothers being change into human-like turtle mutants. Also, the Street Sharks totally did not like pizza or know ninja stuff. That was different enough for me as a kid and I immediately went out and got all the Street Sharks toys I could. The Street Sharks would beat the Ninja Turtle toys by virtue of the Ninja Turtles fitting perfectly into the mouths of the Street Sharks. Good planning on that front, Mattel. All in all, the two cartoons were very similar. The Street Sharks spent pretty much every episode stopping an evil scientist from turning everyone into mutants and yelling their catchphrase: “Jawsome!”. Those were the good old days.

Biker Mice from Mars

Biker Mice from Mars was a well thought out show about the danger of corporations spoiling the environment, much like Captain Planet. If you believed that sentence you must not have read the title of the show. Biker Mice from Mars actually did have a touch of environmentalism though, as the mice were trying to stop an evil race of fish people from stealing all of the Earth’s natural resources. Those same fish people had ruined Mars for the mice already, and they weren’t about to let that happen again. Of course I never really noticed that part of the show when I was little. I was far too busy watching aliens who also had robot parts ride awesome motorcycles that could shoot missiles. Now that I think back on it, those bikes couldn’t have been good for the environment. I still want one.

SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron

Swat Kats took the whole “cool vehicles” theme and ran with it. By day, Chance “T-Bone” Furlong and Jake “Razor” Clawson guarded a dump. By night, they used various items found in the dump to build stealth fighter jets, motorcycles, hovercrafts, and pretty much any other awesome vehicle you could think of. They would then dress up and use these vehicles to stop crime all over  Megakat City. What made this show so enjoyable is also what got it canceled. Swat Kats was not afraid to show some cartoon violence as Jake and Chance showed the criminal element the error of their ways. In the end, programmers deemed the violence would make kids like me punch a neighbor in the face or something. Ironically enough that didn’t happen until after Swat Kats was canceled.

Gargoyles

Gargoyles was a hell of a show. It was about gargoyles who were cursed to remain and remained as statues until their castle was rebuilt on the top of a skyscraper. Moving a castle from Scotland to the top of a skyscraper in New York is obviously the best use of somebody’s money. When the gargoyles awoke they got into fights with Xanadu, the obviously evil guy who moved the castle in the first place, and tried to adjust to living in modern day New York. Strangely enough, the Scottish gargoyles didn’t have Scottish accents, which was odd considering where they came. Goliath did have Keith David providing his voice. That beats a Scottish accent any day.

Aaahh! Real Monsters

Aaahh! Real Monsters was an interesting show. It followed a group of young monsters living in the sewer and learning how to scare people in a sort of monster school. It was kind of an earlier Monsters, Inc. in that way. It was actually pretty dark for a Nickelodeon kid’s show. One of the monsters would actually pull out her guts to scare children. The headmaster of the monster school would even eat monsters when they failed to scare children, but he’d always spit them out before they got digested. Stern but fair. Aaahh! Real Monsters was on the air for around 3 seasons before Nickelodeon pulled the plug, but it was good while it lasted.

Popularity: 41% [?]