And hey, go nuts with these links:
Popularity: 1% [?]
Let’s start off with a basic overview of The Herculoids. This was an old saturday morning cartoon featuring a sparsely inhabited planet that had 3 humans living on it, Zandor, Tarra, and Dorno. For some reason, evil technologically advanced aliens were always hellbent on taking over this particular planet, or blowing it up. Luckily there were 5 creatures on the planet that would always save the day. In fact they are the first reason we love The Herculoids.
1. The Creatures
Here is a rundown of the non-human stars of The Herculoids. Igoo was a giant ape made out of rocks. He was super strong and basically couldn’t be hurt by anything. His favorite pastime was throwing boulders at invading spaceships. Tundro was also a rock creature, except he was based on a mix of a rhino and a centipede. Also, he could shoot rocks out of his horn, spin his head to drill through rocks, and his legs extended to ridiculous lengths for all those times he needed to be taller. Next we have Zok, who was basically an alien dragon. Yes, that is awesome. That includes not only being able to fly and breath fire, but also traveling through space and shooting laser beams out of his head. Last but not least we have Gloop and Gleep, essentially the first Flubbers. They are balls of goop that can turn themselves into chairs or trampolines, or whatever else they need to. The best part is all of these creatures seemed to understand what the humans in the show were saying and would comply with their orders. Imagine having a space dragon you could ride around. That was everyday life for Dorno.
2. Zandor Has a Mysterious Past
As previously mentioned, highly advanced alien races were always coming to the little planet Zandor, his wife, Tarra, and their son, Dorno, called home. Was it because these aliens had ruined the ecosystems on their home planets during their never ending search for superior technology? Were they gathering interplanetary slaves for a gigantic space war? No, they were usually just pissed at Zandor. Almost every single alien invader listed a past slight by Zandor as their main reason for attacking. It was never specifically said what exactly Zandor had done to piss these aliens off, but I think he was a space pirate. He would steal their technology and sell it to other aliens until he was able to buy a tiny planet where he and his family could spend the rest of their days wearing fur loincloths and avoiding any use of technology whatsoever. I assume all of the angry aliens had a brother killed by Zandor during a theft gone wrong.
3. Did I Mention Zok?
Yes, all of the creatures in The Herculoids are pretty cool. Zok is by far the coolest though. Let me give you a rundown of this again. Zok is a space dragon who can fly through space, breathe fire, and shoot laser beams out of his head. Now I will pause for a second as these facts sink in and you realize that Zok is THE COOLEST THING EVER. Wait, it gets better, Dorno, son of Zandor, would often ride Zok and get a great view of enemies getting blasted by laser beams. There is nothing in the world that would be greater than riding a space dragon, not even riding a 10 legged rock rhino.
4. Sexism is Funny
Zandor, being a former space pirate, was pretty bad ass. He would lead the charge against whatever aliens happened to be invading that day, and would rack up a good kill count. This is counting all of the assumed kills that happened off screen, these old cartoons never showed the good parts. Dorno inherited some of his father’s bloodlust and would use a slingshot to rain down fiery uncomfortableness upon his enemies. Not as effective as his father, but still a pretty good contribution. Then there was Tarra. Oh, Tarra, you tried. You really did. Since this was an old cartoon and Tarra was a woman, that meant she was essentially useless. Her attacks against the aliens would usually end with her being kidnapped and used as a hostage until Zandor came and rescued her. She was captured a shockingly high number of times. Chances are she was tired of living in the jungle in a fur loincloth and just wanted to leave with people who had technology such as dishwashers and hair driers.
5. Technology is Evil
The Herculoids was all about going green before going green was trendy. These were semi-barbaric humans fighting against advanced races using nothing but their wits, the environment, and space dragons. Technology didn’t stand a chance, especially because only the evil guys were using it. A slingshot was about as advanced as things got for The Herculoids. This appealed to all of us young kids who just wanted to spend all day in a treehouse using a slingshot to shoot acorns at cute girls. Looking back, I don’t think many of us really got the environmental message though. We just knew there was a damn space dragon.
Popularity: 3% [?]
AMC has ordered six episodes based off of Robert Kirkman’s zombie comic book series, The Walking Dead. This is old news, but no series is complete without the main character, who is small town cop Rick Grimes in this place. AMC made an interesting choice and cast Andrew Lincoln, a British actor, to play the Kentucky based officer. I’m not saying it is a mistake to cast a British actor as a small town American cop, after all acting is pretending to be somebody you are not, I’m just curious to see how Lincoln approaches the character of Rick Grimes.
Anybody who has read The Walking Dead series knows it is fairly graphic, contains some harsh language, and is more about the survivors than the zombies. This last part is what will be most important in a TV adaptation. Expect to hear pretty much everything except the F-Bomb in this show, see some violence, and lots of character development. The Walking Dead is about how the living cope with their lives being so drastically altered, in this case by hoards of undead craving the taste of human flesh. Some can handle it, some can’t. AMC has announced the largest casting choice with Andrew Lincoln as Rick Grimes, we can only hope that he and everyone else cast live up to the standard set by Kirkman’s characters.
Popularity: 2% [?]
Admit it, we’ve all been there. Younger versions of ourselves would be intrigued be the female characters on our Saturday morning cartoons. We didn’t completely understand it, but we would have conversations with our friends about how if the Baroness from G.I. Joe was real we would totally…well, we didn’t know yet. We would do whatever it is prepubescent boys do with girls, which is probably throw mud at them and run away giggling so they know how much we liked them. Yes, these 7 cartoon ladies led us towards manhood when our parents felt too awkward to tell us what we should actually expect from women.
1. Teela – He-Man and the Masters of the Universe
Teela was the headstrong redhead from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, and her outfit was as minimal as He-Man’s. We just didn’t feel as awkward when we noticed that she was showing a lot of skin. She gave us the impression that girls could actually be fun, and since I am talking about our childhood selves I mean because of her adventuring ways, not her outfit. She was always the one leading the charge against Skeletor and his goons, and that’s the kind of fearlessness boys admire. Of course she would always get into trouble and need He-Man and his exposed nipples to save her, allowing the boys to feel superior. Also, she never could figure out that He-Man was Prince Adam wearing underwear and suspenders. We were way smarter than her.
2. April – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
April O’Neill was a news reporter by day, friend of four mutated crime stopping turtles by night. What was it that drew our younger selves towards her? I believe it was her shared taste for pizza and the fact that she had absolutely no problem hanging out with four man-sized talking turtles. If she could get through that to sit down to dinner with them then there was no way she would care about our oversized ears everybody else made fun of. She also hung out in the sewer with them, which would make our rooms seem immaculate by comparison. Tell me why I should pick up my socks now, mom! Plus we all thought we were totally radical, just like the teenage mutant ninja turtles.
3. Wonder Woman – Super Friends
Wonder Woman wore a pretty revealing outfit, always had on stripper boots and owned an invisible jet. I suppose our younger selves liked the first two things, but even then we knew that the idea of the invisible jet was pretty stupid. The motivation for our crush on Wonder Woman goes beyond all of this and can be summed up in one sentence: Wonder Woman hung out with Batman. If we could get close to Wonder Woman, she would introduce us to Batman, he’d think we were awesome and invite us to join the Super Friends and drive Wonder Woman around in his Batmobile occasionally. Of course he’d have to kick out the Wonder Twins, but that’s not much of a downside.
4. Daphne – Scooby Doo
Apparently our younger selves had something for the redheads. Daphne was essentially the cartoon version of the popular girl we always had a crush on. She was the good looking one who was not too bright and always enjoyed wearing short dresses. We all knew the only reason she was with the gang solving mysteries was because of that douche nozzle Fred. Perhaps that is what led many young men of our generation to trade in ascots for blowouts, seeking their own Daphnes. While we knew she was out of our league, we still harbored that crush. What 10 year old wouldn’t want to hang out with girl who had a talking dog?
5. Velma – Scooby-Doo
While Daphne was put upon the pedestal, Velma became our view of the realistically attainable girl. She had all the noticeable lady parts that Daphne had, she just did not flaunt them. She had glasses, she was smart, and she was often overlooked. We still noticed her though. We knew we were smarter than Fred, and thus we would have to be paired up with the smarter girl. Through process of elimination, that left Velma. While our crushes on her weren’t as much as for Daphne, Velma still had a talking dog. Scooby-Doo was a win/win situation for us. We also knew Shaggy was no competition whatsoever.
6. Cheetara – Thundercats
Whenever we hear “Thundercats HOOOO!” we all think of Cheetara. There was kind of a Smurfette situation going on with Cheetara, as she was the only female member of the Thundercats. Well at least the only one we noticed. I could get into stuff about how she fought with a staff that extends in her hands, but I doubt any of us really noticed that joke until we stopped telling people we were still watching Thundercats. Cheetara just grabbed our attention by being the only girl on the team, and one who really just looked like a chick who was into hair metal rather than a cat hybrid.
Popularity: 33% [?]
It has long been thought that cartoons are for kids. In recent years, there have been a plethora of programs that have proven that antiquated notion false. These are cartoons that have dirty jokes, harsh language, and what programmers like to refer to as adult situations. That means sex. These are 7 animated shows that push the limits of what cartoons are supposed to be, but most importantly, they are funny as hell.
Archer is the latest cartoon to be made that is definitely not fit for Saturday mornings. Sterling Archer is the titular character, a dimwit James Bond type spy who uses his sex appeal to sort of solve cases. I say sort of because his agency is so dysfunctional that they are usually too busy fighting or screwing each other to get any real work done. The first season has been a strong one for Archer, so expect to see this FX original series get more publicity next year.
Aqua Teen Hunger Force is the ultimate irreverent comedy. The 15 minute episodes revolve around a talking milkshake, meatball, and container of fries having misadventures involving the Mooninites, aliens that resemble the old Space Invaders video game, and annoying their next door neighbor Carl. There is no rhyme or reason to their adventures, but for some reason it is impossible to stop watching.
South Park was one of the first well known cartoons that was aimed at an adult audience. Hidden behind multiple fart jokes and other juvenile humor is some real social commentary. That is not what makes South Park a cartoon for adults, although it does help. South Park was quite possibly the first cartoon to imply that a main character’s mother was a crack whore, had a womanizing cafeteria chef, and say the word shit 162 times in a single episode. That is pioneer status right there.
Family Guy mixes irreverent comedy with what can only be described as wacky situations. The Griffin family isn’t afraid to use some salty language, their neighbor Glen Quagmire will hump anything with a skirt, and nobody, whether they are paralyzed or mentally handicapped, is safe from ridicule. Family Guy has raised complaints throughout it’s existence, most recently with a portrayal of a girl with down syndrome and a reference to the Sarah Palin family. There are no signs of Family Guy getting tamer, despite complaints, and for that we are grateful.
Robot Chicken is more of a claymation show, but it focuses on the cartoons of the eighties so it gets a place on the list. It is impossible not to enjoy a show that pokes fun at all the cartoons we enjoyed when we were kids. Skits involving insanely murderous Strawberry Shortcake dolls and angry Smurfs are always entertaining.
Futurama is a cartoon by Simpsons creator Matt Groening. It definitely has his style of somewhat depressing comedy, focusing on a guy who had a terrible life being frozen until the year 3000, where he makes new friends but is still somewhat of a misfit. Futurama is definitely a bit edgier than The Simpsons and has a devoted fan following. When Futurama was cancelled, fans of the series petitioned to bring the series back. That’s devotion.
The Simpsons paved the way for cartoons geared towards adults. While The Simpsons was animated, something usually reserved for children’s shows, the jokes and darker humor were most definitely aimed at an older audience. That is why The Simpsons has become the longest running animated prime time sitcom in the history of television. All the other cartoons on this list can thank The Simpsons for paving the way for them, back when being edgy was telling a principal to eat your shorts.
Popularity: 9% [?]
It doesn’t really take a blockbuster movie to make the days of the ancient Romans and Greeks seem awesome. There were so many wars going, gladiatorial battles, and gods coming down and knocking up mortal women that it seems like every day was an adventure on a grand scale. Of course movies and television shows aren’t satisfied with this level of greatness, and put in as much action, sex, and more action that they can. That’s what makes these eras perfect for movies.
This is the latest show based in ancient Rome. Spartacus is the most famous of the gladiators to fight in the Colosseum. This show has an extreme amount of blood and violence, and pretty much any time that there isn’t somebody being decapitated there is some crazy sex going on. The only drawback is the male nudity. I’m sure some people like me, and there was a lot of nudity going on during that time period, I’m just not a huge fan of dongs flapping in the wind.
Rome was a great show on HBO. It followed ancient Rome as historical events turned Rome into an Empire. This show did a great job of weaving actual historical events and notable figures through the eyes of two common soldiers. Ray Stevenson plays Titus Pullo, one of those common soldiers and also a complete bad ass.
Ben-Hur is a classic. It might be ridiculously long, but that’s just because it covers so much. Charlton Heston plays a Jewish prince who gets the shaft from his childhood friend Mesalla, and becomes a slave. He works his way up and becomes loved by the Romans, participates in the most bad ass chariot race that has ever happened, and hangs out with Jesus a little bit. While this is an older movie, it is just as powerful, if not more so, than any other movie on this list.
Brad Pitt is awesome in Troy as Achilles. Basically all 6 hours of Troy are great to watch because it really is seeing ancient legends come to life. We get to see a demigod tear through mortal men until a lucky shot brings him down, we see how insanely hot Helen of Troy is, and we see what a pussy Paris was. For those of you who don’t know your Greek history, Paris is the guy who stole Helen away from Menelaus and started the war. Eric Bana plays Prince Hector, Paris’ older brother, and possibly the coolest guy in the movie who dies for his brother. I hate you Paris.
Russell Crowe made a name for himself in Gladiator. That doesn’t mean that people didn’t know who Russell Crowe was before Gladiator, but he was a household name after. Gladiator was an extremely well done movie chronicling the fall of a Roman soldier into the arena as a Gladiator, and how his fighting prowess made him the most influential man alive. The fight scenes are brutal and extremely well done, and let’s be honest, that’s what most of us care about. The entire story is an inspiring one though, as a man loses everything, his power, his family,and his country, only to rise up higher than ever before.
Popularity: 6% [?]
30 Rock has consistently proven itself to be one of the funniest shows on television. What makes it funny time after time is the fact that it doesn’t rely on outrageous things happening, but rather on a varied cast of outrageous characters. Every week involves a clash of overinflated egos, comic misunderstandings, and eccentric behavior. Oh yes, there’s plenty of eccentric behavior, and these 5 characters are the ones most often involved in that behavior.
Cerie Xerox, played by Katrina Bowden, is the resident eye candy at 30 Rock. She does it very well. Her appearance on the show definitely makes the guys pay attention, especially when she wears revealing outfits. That means always. She is more than a pretty face though, her interactions with Liz are hilarious, as she remains convinced that Liz must have been married with several kids to look like she does. Cerie isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, and is fairly naive, but I would love to make her dream of marrying a rich guy and designing handbags come true. Now I just have to get rich.
Kenneth Parcell (Jack McBrayer) is the best page NBC has ever seen. He is ridiculously dedicated to his job, doing anything anyone asks him to, and seeks no advancement. He is also always smiling, even when running dangerous errands for Tracy or breaking into houses for Jack. It can get a little creepy at times. Jack, who can read everyone, has no idea what Kenneth is ever thinking. So while seeming like a wide eyed child marveling at what goes on around him, I am convinced there is something more sinister about Kenneth. As Jack said, in 30 years Kenneth will either have his job or have killed them all.
Liz (Tina Fey) is the driving force behind everything at 30 Rock. She has the unenviable job of resolving conflicts between everyone else. She is essentially the mom of the show. Unfortunately for her, she is still struggling on finding somebody to support her, although she does have a good relationship with Jack. All too often Liz finds herself insulting people while eating fatty foods and buying wedding dresses to wear when she dies alone. Yes, she definitely has some problems of her own. Luckily Liz is a problem solver, and comes up with some unique solutions to some pretty crazy problems. She’ll make it.
Jack Donaghy is played by Alec Baldwin. There isn’t much more that needs to be said. He is absolutely hilarious. Jack knows pretty much all there is to know when it comes to business, and seems to have connections to everyone who is anyone. He has also read so many market studies that he can take a glance at anyone who isn’t Kenneth and identify their age, weight, specific interests, and seemingly their thoughts. At the same time, Jack doesn’t have an abundance of common sense and is a bit of a romantic at heart despite the many actresses and models he has bedded. This leaves him in some vulnerable positions, but Liz always comes to the rescue.
Tracy Morgan really is Tracy Jordan. He is Tracy Jordan in everything I’ve seen him in and that is fantastic. He is most commonly described as a loose cannon, but I prefer off the walls insane. I mean that in a good way. Tracy is so lazy he uses white guilt against Liz to convince her he can’t read, and uses that as an excuse to show up to work late. He threw a giant party on a yacht he didn’t own. He hallucinates about little blue people when he doesn’t take his medication. He is constantly making sure he does outrageous things so the public doesn’t get bored with him, but he needn’t worry. We will love him until his medication actually starts to work.
Popularity: 3% [?]
As told to me by the ghosts of Hollywood past, present and future.
Pretty much every romantic comedy or teen angst movies targeting a male audience is about a 5-rate guy daring to dream about landing a 10-rate girl. Most of these movies however, are not lazy enough to put that premise in the title and market it as such. Most of those movies have some other kind of hook. Like giant robots, last days or High School/College or McLovin. But not She’s Out of My League. Nope. That’s what the whole movie is about. Just throw in some curse words and juvenile male pranks and it’s an instant cult success.
But isn’t that sad? If your a 5, you shouldn’t be with a 10. You don’t deserve a 10. What could you possibly have to offer her? All a movies like this does is reinforce male complacency. It makes losers believe they are “good enough.” Well your not. That’s the truth. But the kicker is: you can be better. They shouldn’t have to accept you. Hell, you shouldn’t accept you. You can be a 10 if you work at it. You can earn your 10 mate the right way. That’s what these movies should show people.
2) Present – The minority led TV shows are going to be awesome.
I already raved about Forrest Whitaker’s Criminal Minds spin-off. Now there are three other minority led pilots that I can gush over now. Breakout Kings is an instant hit mixing Prison Break and Criminal Minds together (though the title leaves a lot to be desired. Here’s to hoping it’s just a working title). JJ Abrams is crossing over to the darkside with Undercovers, a black version of Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Genius. And even the brown is getting down with another CIA drama called Chaos. We are here baby! We are finally here!
It doesn’t seem like much on the surface, but can you name a minority driven TV show of the past decade that was not a sitcom…and that lasted more than 5 episodes?
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Me neither. I’d have to go back to NY Undercover for that one. Yes I went that far back. But NY Undercover was a great show (and might I add spearheaded the whole undercover cop show movement), and that’s the difference. Well all these shows — judging by their loglines — appear to be great shows too. And I think that’s going to keep them around a lot longer than the Gideon Crossing‘s of the world.
How many times does a ghost have to slaughter entire families before stupid-ass wannabe home owners get the f—in’ message? If you move into a house and freaky stuff starts happened. Move the hell out! Last year it was Paranormal Activity and sometime in the future it’s going to be Dream House. What pile of bricks is worth your life? Can someone please tell me that?
I understand that this is a common fear among first-time home buyers, but geez, do we need to see it over and over again with little to no variation on plot. Why is it always a ghost? Why can’t it be a witch, or troll, or dragon or even a bear hibernating in the attic. Can we mix it up a little, because we’ve already established that evil spirits make horrible roommates (maybe they should do a movie about a exorcised ghost looking for a place on Craigslist). But to make it more relative, if I found out that my boss was murdering employers with the lowest sales, I’m not going to bust my butt to be #1, I’m f—in’ quiting! Wait, maybe that could be a movie too…dibs!
Beaze and all his crazy antics, featured articles and random thoughts are now on twitter @Beazewriter
Popularity: 3% [?]
Today I learned something quite extraordinary, yes extraordinary! Turns out Tom Green is an amazing freestyle rapper. OK maybe “amazing” doesn’t quite explain the skills the man has. How good you say? Well Imagine a rapper with the skills of Mike D, Ad-Rock & MCA combined oh and maybe throw an Eminem in there with a little Jin and Canabis. That Good!
Just listen how he lays it down with Xzibit when he had him over for the The Tom Green Show some time back.
Turns out Tom had a little career in rap in the early 90′s with some success. Via Wikipedia:
[Tom Green's] Rap career
In the early 1990s, Green had a short-lived career as a rapper in a group called Organized Rhyme. They were nominated for a Juno Award in 1993 for Best Rap Recording. He came back in 2005 with his rap group, The Keeping it Real Crew, featuring DJ EZ Mike of the Dust Brothers. In late 2005, Tom released his first solo rap album, titled Prepare For Impact. He has received offers from such rap artists as Spice 1 and Bushwick Bill of the Geto Boys to appear on his raps. He has performed with Too Short, Flava Flav, Grand Buffet, Mickey Avalon, People Under the Stairs, Xzibit, and other popular rap artists on his Tom Green Live show. In early 2008 a second solo rap album titled Basement Jams was released in download only format. On his website, Green has stated intentions of releasing a new rap album in 2010.
Check out the music video below for his old group Organized Rhyme, Check The O.R. was apparently a huge hit in Canada back in ’93. Skills!
Organized Rhyme – Check The O.R.
Popularity: 2% [?]
Stargate Studios reveals just how many of your favorite television shows rely on green screens for their outdoor scenes. The answer: all of them.
[via TBT]
Popularity: 1% [?]
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