The Sorcerer’s Apprentice

Disney’s latest movie, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, can best be described as a box office flop. With the always eccentric Nicolas Cage in the movie, along with the entertaining Jay Baruchel, it is surprising that this movie wasn’t more entertaining. Unfortunately Disney thought they could get away with slacking on the story since Nicolas Cage and Jay Baruchel were in the movie, but audiences weren’t buying it. It must be said that The Sorcerer’s Apprentice is a visually appealing movie, but the lackluster dialogue and plot leaves much to be desired.

Snow Dogs

Snow Dogs marked the downfall of Cuba Gooding Jr.’s career. Before he had been in some great movies, which is why it was so surprising to see him in a movie that was so obviously terrible. The story basically has Cuba inheriting a pack of sled dogs, but being a dentist and having no idea how to control them. I guess if you liked the joke of Cuba Gooding Jr. falling over in the snow repeatedly and having his dogs laugh at him then you’d enjoy Snow Dogs. Unfortunately even six year olds get tired of that joke when it is repeated fifty times.

Home on the Range

Disney should learn to not put Cuba Gooding Jr. in their movies. Snow Dogs was atrocious, but Home on the Range was even worse. Cuba Gooding Jr. lent his voice talents to one of the main characters, a cow. This cow wants to save the ranch by kidnapping a cattle rustler. Remember kids, if you have a problem you need solved all you have to do is kidnap the right person. Home on the Range received a huge amount of marketing before it came out, but when it was released it became clear that all the creativity was used on the marketing campaign rather than in the movie. It says a lot that this movie was hyped so much, but most people don’t even remember it.

Treasure Planet

Treasure Planet had so much potential to be a great movie, which made the end result all the more disappointing. Visually, this movie was stunning. Disney pulled out all the stops with the animation. Unfortunately they didn’t do the same with the story, a new take on the classic Treasure Island. The Treasure Island plot was loosely followed in Treasure Planet, Disney just decided that it would be improved upon by taking out all the clever dialogue, plot nuances, and character development. It can now be said that Disney was wrong on this account.

Inspector Gadget

Inspector Gadget was literally painful to watch. Disney took a character who was already loved by children around the world and proceeded to butcher him on screen. They even showed the sinister Claw on screen! Claw was always the man in the shadows, how could they just reveal him like that? Much like Snow Dogs, Inspector Gadget relied far too much on visual gags rather than an actual coherent story. To make matters worse, Michelle Trachtenberg wasn’t hot yet in this movie, taking away the only advantage Inspector Gadget might have had.

The trailer doesn’t reveal too much about the plot of the movie, but man does it deliver on the action, hot girls, and craziness. There is even a freaking dragon. As a guy who enjoys hot girls, ass kicking, and the occasional dragon or two, I can definitively say that I will be going to see this movie. What is exciting about the trailer is how much action is shown without revealing what is going on. It has definitely piqued my curiosity. I can’t say with absolute confidence that Sucker Punch will be an amazing movie, but my Magic 8 Ball says it is highly likely.

Howdy Doody

Howdy Doody is the puppet that your grandparents grew up with. He was a little red headed cowboy puppet who entertained children from 1947 until 1960. Apparently television was around in 1947, I am just as surprised as you are. Howdy Doody was one of the first shows that got the audience involved, as the beginning of every show featured a live studio audience singing the theme song along with Howdy Doody. Your grandparents probably sang along too, sitting in front of their super expensive 8 inch television with the grainy black and white picture. Ask them about it, it will bring up fond memories and long rambling stories.

Lamb Chop

Lamb Chop was the main character in a more recent children’s show. She was a little lamb who had a very adventurous spirit and liked to explore during Lamb Chop’s Play-Along. Lamb Chop would invariably run into some sort of problem and need her puppeteer or other puppets to help her solve problems. This formula for adorableness apparently worked, as Lamb Chop’s Play-Along won 5 Emmy Awards. While the original Lamb Chop puppeteer, Shari Lewis, has passed away, Mallory Lewis is keeping her mother’s puppet alive.

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog

Here we have a puppet that is definitely not for the kids, despite the fact that Triumph the Insult Comic Dog is best known for his infantile humor. Triumph is best known for saying complimenting somebody by saying they are great… to poop on! See, that is comedy right there. Scatological references and the occasional curse word. Still, a foul mouthed doberman with an eastern European accent makes for a surprisingly entertaining puppet. We probably won’t see Triumph on any kid’s shows any time soon, but he will still be making appearances on late night television.

Elmo

Elmo has perfected the ability to be adorable. He has had a lot of time to work on this being a main character on Sesame Street, which has been around since 1969. I personally think the fame has gone to Elmo’s head, as he now insists on referring to himself in the third person. Nonetheless, Elmo has done an unbelievable job connecting with children and is one of the most easily recognizable characters on television. No kid would be scared of having the furry red monster jump out of their closet.

Kermit the Frog

Kermit the Frog is the greatest character ever made by the guy who put Sesame Street together, Jim Henson. Henson hit pure gold when he created the green icon known as Kermit the Frog. Kermit started off his career as the host of The Muppet Show and quickly became the most popular of all the Muppets. He has starred in movies, appeared on Sesame Street, recorded hit songs, and even written an autobiography. Every time a puppet is made, it hopes it can reach the heights of success that Kermit has. Well, at least the people who created the puppet are hoping for that.

Secret Talents of the Stars

Secret Talents of the Stars was a game show that featured celebrities showing off little know talents. Contestants in the first, and only, episode included George Takei, Sacha Cohen, Clint Black, and Ben Stein. Takei performed a country song, and did decently. It also led up to a very controversial moment. One of the judges made a comment about George Takei looking like one of the stars of Brokeback Mountain. When you realize that Takei is openly homosexual, it becomes clear that this was not a very appropriate comment to make. Worst of all none of the stars’ talents were very entertaining, and the show was cancelled after a single episode. The biggest surprise was that audience members actually took the time to vote on performances.

Osbournes: Reloaded

The Osbournes are a very odd family. That is why so many people watched the Osbournes’ reality show. The next step was to give them a variety show called Osbournes: Reloaded. The family did such outrageous skits as showing Sharon Osbourne working a real job instead of rolling in piles of money. Seeing as this was one of their best ideas for a skit, it is not surprising that Osbournes: Reloaded didn’t make it past a single episode. The show was on Fox, but many local stations cancelled it before an episode even aired due to the fact that the Osbournes were a little too vulgar for most American families.

Emily’s Reasons Why Not

Heather Graham is very attractive. Emily’s Reasons Why Not was a show based on Heather Graham’s character Emily not being able to find a guy. Basically she made lists of why guys weren’t right for her, even though most guys would gladly change whatever they could to make it on her list. Remember that guy we previously mentioned who now lives in a box? That was most likely the fate of everybody who gave this show the thumbs up, as apparently nobody even bothered to watch the pilot before giving it the OK.

Turn-On

Turn-On was a variety show that aired in 1969. It has the rare distinction of actually being cancelled halfway through the premier of the first episode. This was due to the extremely offensive nature of many of the skits shown. One of the skits was simply scrolling homosexual messages across the screen, while another featured a firing squad propositioning a woman before shooting, and a third featured a diagram for a table shaped as a swastika. It is actually shocking that sketches like those were approved in the first place. This show should have been cancelled before a single episode was aired.

Liza and David

Liza Minnelli is a very entertaining woman, but her former husband David Gest was just a pain in the ass. Liza and David was a reality show proposed by VH1 that would follow the couple around as they did things that were assumed to be entertaining. The only problem was David Gest had made it his mission in life to make everyone around him miserable. He would constantly cancel filming at the last second, and abused the camera crew whenever they did something he didn’t like. He didn’t like much of anything. Eventually VH1 got tired of Gest and scrapped the whole show. The pilot episode never even made it on to the air.

For fans of the first season of Spartacus: Blood and Sand, there will be a few familiar faces returning for Spartacus: Gods of the Arena. First, Batiatus and his wife Lucretia will have prominent roles in the series, and will still be played by John Hannah and Lucy Lawless. The gladiator Crixus will also be returning, played by Manu Bennett. Crixus will once again be playing second fiddle to another gladiator, this time Gannicus, the first Champion of Capua. Gannicus will be played by Dustin Clare, an Australian actor I’ve never heard of before. New cast members joining Clare will be Jaime Murray and Marisa Ramirez, who will be playing Gaia and Melitta respectively. Gaia is a friend of Lucretia and Melitta is a slave who will be getting very friendly with a gladiator. At least that is my assumption. Best of all the real Spartacus, Andy Whitfield will occasionally make appearances, so I guess that justifies the show being named after him. Actually, best of all might be Jaime Murray.

Mel Gibson Hates Everyone

A while back Mel Gibson got arrested for drunk driving. This, unfortunately, wouldn’t be huge news if it wasn’t for his behavior during his arrests. He released a barrage of anti-semitic comments, blaming Jewish people for literally all the wars in the world. I’m not sure if any of the arresting officers were Jewish, but Mel Gibson did his best to piss them off specifically by referring to the female officer as sugar breasts. He just said it in a less polite way. We thought that was as bad as things would get for crazy old Mel, but he recently outdid himself. His former girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva recently recorded some of Mel Gibson’s rants against her. He said that she dressed in a way that might lead to forcible sex with black men, and threatened to burn down her house, but only after she gives him mouth love. Again, Mel Gibson used some more offensive terms than a gentleman like myself would use. At least he didn’t blame Jewish people for his craziness.

Do Not Distract Christian Bale

The filming of Terminator Salvation revealed that the actor best known for playing Batman has an explosive temper. Christian Bale is well known for immersing himself in a role, often times taking it to extremes. With the amount of preparation he puts into his acting, it is no surprise that he doesn’t like interruptions. What was a surprise was how much he dislikes interruptions. When a member of the lighting crew walked through and ruined a scene, he felt the full force of Christian Bale’s fury. There were many expletives shouted, threats to break some lights, and Bale sounding like an asshole. It definitely seemed like a bit of an overreaction considering he would most likely have to shoot that scene 30 times even if he wasn’t interrupted.

Alec Baldwin Compares Child to Livestock

Sometimes you love somebody so much it hurts. At least that is a saying I’ve heard of. Apparently Alec Baldwin believes in the less often heard saying “love somebody so much you insult them repeatedly in a phone message”. When his 11 year old daughter didn’t answer his phone call, Alec Baldwin decided the appropriate response would be to leave a message calling her a disgusting little pig, threatening to hit her with a brick, and asking her to tell her mother to fornicate with herself. Not a very classy move from the star of 30 Rock and many movies. The best part was he seemed unsure of his own daughter’s age, switching between 12 and 11. Maybe that’s why she didn’t answer the phone.

Russell Crowe Breaks Phones

Being in a movie like Gladiator can really get that testosterone flowing. Considering the phenomenal job that Russell Crowe did in Gladiator, it is not that surprising that he had some trouble distinguishing which actions from that movie were actually appropriate in real life. While staying in a hotel, Russell Crowe was unable to place a phone call. Feeling like he was being held back by whiny little emperor, Russel Crowe led a one man revolt against the hotel tyrant. His weapon of choice was the phone. He mistook the hotel concierge for the previously mentioned, and fictional, hotel tyrant. This resulted in a violent meeting between the airborne phone and the concierge’s face, and Russell Crowe being escorted away by the boys in blue.

David O. Russell and Actors Do Not Get Along

David O. Russell is a director who is no stranger to outbursts. He actually came to blows with George Clooney during the filming of Three Kings, after Clooney commented on Russell’s verbal abuse of the staff. Russell proceeded to call Clooney an ass and a word meaning lady’s reproductive organs, and tried to choke him. You’d think that he would only have one outburst of crazy like that in a lifetime, but that was not the case. During the filming of I heart Huckabees, Russell went after actress Lily Tomlin. Luckily he did not try to strangle her, but he did call her an even worse word for lady parts than he used on Clooney. He then proceeded to break parts of the set and lock himself in his office. That’s how adults solve their problems, kids.

One day while he’s lying sick in bed, Cameron lets “Ferris” steal his father’s car and take the day off, and as Cameron wanders around the city, all of his interactions with Ferris and Sloane, and all the impossible hijinks, are all just played out in his head. This is part of the reason why the “three” characters can see so much of Chicago in less than one day — Cameron is alone, just imagining it all.

It isn’t until he destroys the front of the car in a fugue state does he finally get a grip and decide to confront his father, after which he imagines a final, impossible escape for Ferris and a storybook happy ending for Sloane (“He’s gonna marry me!”), the girl that Cameron knows he can never have.

ClassyHands took that concept and created this brilliant remixed trailer:

[via Gawker]

Lethal Weapon

Lethal Weapon is the standard that all buddy cop movies are judged by. When this movie came out, Mel Gibson was still a lovable sort of crazy who played perfectly against Danny Glover. As Sergeant Martin Riggs and Roger Murtaugh, Gibson and Glover made the perfect team. Just picture an old bickering married couple that can kick an extreme amount of ass. While they got on each other’s nerves, Mel Gibson and Danny Glover came together to defeat the bad guys and become best friends. They don’t call them buddy cop movies for nothing after all.

Rush Hour

Before I start talking about Rush Hour, has anybody seen Chris Tucker recently? He has been getting a little chunky, he needs to start hanging out with Jackie Chan again. Speaking of hanging out with Jackie Chan, the main appeal of Rush Hour was the interaction of Chris Tucker’s Detective James Carter and Jackie Chan’s Inspector Lee. The culture clash between the two provided many laughs, and Jackie Chan used the fact that he was Jackie Chan to kung fu bad guys into oblivion. Chris Tucker helped with that a little bit too.

Bad Boys

Will Smith and Martin Lawrence bickered almost as much as Mel Gibson and Danny Glover throughout Bad Boys. Will Smith is the Mel Gibson type character, willing to break rules and take chances to get the job done. Martin Lawrence is the Danny Glover type, often complaining about being too old for this poop despite his relatively young age. Will Smith was definitely cooler. when things got down and dirty though, both Smith and Lawrence were ready to unleash a fiery hail of lead based justice. If only the chief would get off their backs and let them solve crimes their way, at a very high cost to the city!

Hot Fuzz

When it comes to pure comedy, Hot Fuzz is one of the best buddy cop movies around. Simon Pegg and Nick Frost of Shaun of the Dead fame starred as cops in a small town with an unusually high rate of accidents. Nick Frost plays the big innocent dumb guy very well, and Simon Pegg plays the top cop type, although one who doesn’t approve of the tactics often shown in buddy cop movies. Many of the other movies on this list are actually referenced throughout Hot Fuzz. In the end, Simon Pegg realizes there is no better way to rid a small town of corruption than removing the corrupt people with violence. Lots and lots of gratuitous violence. We wouldn’t have it any other way.

Cop Out

Cop Out was Kevin Smith’s recent attempt at a buddy cop movie. While the story wasn’t great, the main characters Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan did a great job saving the movie. The action scenes weren’t very good, but they made up for it with a lot of comedy, which is what Kevin Smith does best. Hopefully The Other Guys takes some pages from the comedy side of Cop Out, but also greatly improves upon the action. A buddy cop movie cannot be considered complete until the amount of violent justice can be described as excessive.

The Inception graphic novel is 34 pages long and features a great story that introduces us to some of the main characters. The story focuses on Leonardo DiCaprio’s character of Cobb and Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s character of Arthur. Yahoo! has done a great job of formatting the online comic so it is easy to read. Add the fact that the art is good and the story is fantastic, you should definitely check this comic out if you are planning on seeing Inception. The best part is the comic is a prequel, introducing us to the main characters without revealing any spoilers from the movie. You can read the Yahoo! Inception comic here. Do it.

Chances are Inception will still make you do some brain gymnastics, even after reading the comic. Christopher Nolan doesn’t really do straightforward movies. After you have read the comic you can see Inception in theaters on July 16th. I would definitely recommend seeing the IMAX version.

Roman not giving a toss

Via the AP

The Swiss government declared renowned film director Roman Polanski a free man on Monday after rejecting a U.S. request to extradite him on a charge of having sex in 1977 with a 13-year-old girl.

The Swiss mostly blamed U.S. authorities for failing to provide confidential testimony about Polanski’s sentencing procedure in 1977-1978.

The stunning decision could end the United States’ three-decade pursuit of Polanski, unless he travels to another country that would be willing to apprehend him and weigh sending him to Los Angeles. France, where he has spent much of his time, does not extradite its own citizens, and the public scrutiny over Switzerland’s deliberations may dissuade other nations from making such a spectacular arrest.

The Swiss government said it had sought confidential testimony given on Jan. 26 by Roger Gunson, the Los Angeles attorney in charge of the original prosecution against Polanski. Washington rejected the request.

“Mr. Polanski can now move freely. Since 12:30 today he’s a free man,” Justice Minister Eveline Widmer-Schlumpf declared. more