As told to me by the ghosts of Hollywood past, present and future.
1) Past – The Oscars are still going to suck.
So let me get this straight, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences decided it was going to expand the nominees to a field of 10 in an attempt to “shake things up” and inspire new viewers to tune into their diminishing little party and these are the 10 movies they chose to honor? What’s so different about these 10 than the previous five? Up, and what else? Seems like the same old Hollywood artsy-fartsy club that mainstream America has avoided for the past decade to me. Check this chart if you don’t believe me.
If anything, the only thing the academy has accomplished is diluting it’s own indie gold pool. If you’re going to be snobbish, then do it with your nose proudly in the air like people expect, and if you’re going to give the people a voice, then do it with your head held high, but don’t try to straddle the fence. We all know what happens when a man tries to straddle a fence.
2) Present – Roman Polanski is still a monster.
I don’t typically get upset at “celebrity” issues, but the total disregard for human decency in the way the Berlin Film Festival is triping over themselves to make excuses for Roman Polanski is appalling. I do not understand how people still want to honor that guy. Even if your German you have to be a little disturbed that a grown man raped a child. I already ranted about how unfair the treatment is here. So now I just want to know how anyone can honestly applaud this man, shake his hand, hand him a trophy and say, “Nice work” without wanting to punch him in the face. I understand forgiveness, believe me, but I also know that you cannot forgive someone who doesn’t want to be forgiven.
3) Future – Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps is going to make us hate them even more.
Is this really a good time for a wall street movie…where wall streeters are the protagonist? Does anybody really want to sympathize with them right now? Does anyone really care to understand them right now? Would anybody shed a tear for a murdered fat-cat? My guess is a big fat American no. Maybe if it was a movie about Joe Shia robbing wall street Robin Hood-style, then people would be up for that, but not a movie glorifying and rationalizing corporate greed. I know this is an iconic movie with iconic character Gordon Gekko, but I just don’t see “the people” flocking to the theaters to see this.
Oh no, Shia LaBeouf has to hurry up and warn Wall Street of the impeding doom! Hurry Shia, hurry! Wait a second…Shia…how about you warn the American people first jerk-wad!
(Sorry Shia, I like you, but you just kind of got caught in the crossfire by playing this character).
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