Humor District

If you grew up during the eighties, or even the early nineties, you are familiar with some of the greatest cartoons to ever be made. These cartoons include He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, Transformers, and, of course, Thundercats. He-Man and the Masters of the Universe was already revamped for the new millennium, Transformers is a successful film franchise, and now Thundercats is being brought back by Cartoon Network. This is the first new Thundercats series in many years, and no, Avatar does not count as a Thundercats spinoff.

Cartoon Network recently premiered the trailer for the new Thundercats series, and it looks amazing. There is definitely an anime style to the characters, which may or may not be preferred by some, but it cannot be denied that this series looks epic. The music definitely helps as well. It will be great to see Lion-O back in action, along with Panthro and Tygra. I also predict a new generation will be helped to puberty and some confusing thoughts by Cheetara, who is drawn about as slutty as any cat/woman hybrid I’ve seen on Cartoon Network. The only possible downside is apparently Snarf has been included in this new series. Oh well, it still looks good. Enjoy the trailer below.

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3-D movies have become somewhat of a craze in Hollywood. It seems that almost every movie put out these days has a regular version and a 3-D version for moviegoers to choose from. Of course Hollywood also likes the fact that tickets to 3-D movies are more expensive than regular tickets. The 3-D movement has gotten so popular that 3-D televisions have been put into production, allowing you to immerse yourself in the 3-D experience from the comfort of your own home. These are the 3-D movies that will make you want to go out and buy yourself one of those high tech television sets just to watch them.

Avatar

It is no surprise that Avatar is one of the best movies to see in 3-D for several reasons. First, James Cameron is  great director, and we have come to expect great movies from him. Second, Avatar used all new 3-D technology in its filming to provide a result unlike anything we had ever seen before. While some people feel that the nature conservancy message in Avatar is a little heavy handed, everybody can agree that it is a marvelous visual spectacle.

Up

Up was a great movie in general, and it also made good use of 3-D technology. What made the 3-D sections of Up so good was it felt like a natural part of the movie. Many movies add in seemingly random scenes just to show off some 3-D action, but all the 3-D scenes in Up flowed seamlessly with the rest of the movie providing a great viewing experience. This may seem like a simple thing to do, but it is surprising how many movies forget 3-D can be used as more than just a gimmicky way to sell more expensive tickets.

Monsters vs. Aliens

Much like Up, Monsters vs. Aliens was a pretty adorable movie with seamlessly integrated 3-D scenes. The 3-D scenes were also more entertaining because of the general tone of Monsters vs. Aliens, which you have probably figured out wasn’t a very serious movie from the title. I guess the goofy antics of unintelligent monsters are even more adorable when they appear to be coming out of the screen.

Beowulf

Beowulf was, in general, not the greatest movie ever made. It is a great example of a 3-D movie though. Beouwulf was so well animated that there are some scenes where it is easy to forget that it is not live action, and that goes for the 3-D scenes as well. The animation was so good that Beowulf rivals Avatar in terms of a visual performance, but overall I think everyone would agree that Avatar was by far the superior movie.

Toy Story

By this point you have probably realized that 3-D technology is best suited to animated movies. 3-D technology is also well suited to great movies from our childhood. When Toy Story was released in 3-D, there was a rush to theaters. The 3-D scenes made us feel like little kids again, and as if we were hanging out with Woody, Buzz, and the rest of the gang. That was an awesome feeling that came with the rebirth of an awesome movie.

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Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole is in the running for 2010 movie with the most ridiculous title. That can be forgiven though, considering the movie is based of a series of books written by Kathryn Lasky for a younger audience. Kids are into their crazy sounding fantasy titles. The description of the plot is also kind of odd. It follows two young owls who fall out of a tree and are chased by the Pure Ones, evil birds. The young owls search for the Guardians of Ga’Hoole, warrior owls. Apparently owls are a very mischievous species when we are sleeping. Again, this plot can be forgiven because it is aimed towards kids.

So with this description of the movie, you are probably not very interested in going to see it. Well let me tell you right now that you should see this movie even if you don’t like the plot. The reason for this is because Legend of the Guardians looks absolutely fantastic. The owls have a ridiculous amount of detail on them. It is truly amazing to see how beautiful computer generated images can be. In my humble opinion, these graphics look better than the blue cat people in avatar. Check out the trailer below and see what technology can do.

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The Losers is the latest comic book to be made into a movie, and it is shaping up to be an entertaining movie. Chirs Evans will be particularly interesting as he plays the character Jensen, a wise-cracking tech expert who can also kill you very easily. It’s like his role as the Human Torch in Fantastic Four, except less moody, more hilarious, and hopefully in a movie that doesn’t suck. Check out the trailer for yourself, it looks pretty good.

What makes this role particularly interesting for Chris Evans, is the fact that he will soon be suiting up as Captain America. Judging from the trailer, Chris Evans looks the part for Steve Rogers, but he might have to bulk up a little bit before he starts defending our freedom as Captain America. It also seems like he will have to reign in the comedy a bit, Cap is a pretty serious guy.

Getting back to The Losers, it will also be interesting to see Cougar, one of the coolest snipers ever. What most people are probably excited about, however, is the fact that Zoe Saldana will be playing Aisha. Zoe Saldana is pretty damn hot, even when she was a CG blue cat person in Avatar. I will probably go see any movie featuring this:

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It was pretty big news when Avatar lost Best Picture at the Academy Awards to The Hurt Locker. A lot of people just assumed James Cameron was going to have a statue of a naked gold man to proudly display on his mantle, but it was not to be. James Cameron has decided to move on from this gracefully and get back to what he does best, making obscene amounts of money.

You might remember a movie by James Cameron called Titanic. It had Leonardo DiCaprio painting boobs and then *spoiler alert* the ship sank. It was also the highest grossing film of all time until James Cameron came out with Avatar. So yes, the man knows how to rake in the money. Now he is in talks to re-release both Titanic and Avatar. We could be seeing a 3-D version of Titanic in 2012, but the surprise is we could be seeing Avatar again even sooner. James Cameron is looking to put Avatar back in theaters this summer. He has the excuse of 2012 being the hundredth year anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic, but he straight up admits he wants to put Avatar back in theaters simply to make more money. He may not have gotten gold, but he will make up for it with plenty of green.

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Inspirational! If I ever visit Hometree, Wisconsin I would definitely check out this L.A.R.P. C’mon Live Action Role Playing Abadah what could be more awesome, right?

Hell, screw Hometree Wisconsin, who’s with me? Let the Na’vi people of Bantry Bay, Cape Town UNITE!

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As told to me by the ghosts of Hollywood past, present and future.

1) Past – The Wolfman is not Underworld

Is it just me or did the monster movies just take a huge step backwards?  Granted the trailers don’t show you that much, but doesn’t it feel like the wolfman in Wolfman is a little B-movie?  I mean, the lycans in Underworld were way more monstrous looking.  The werewolf in Wolfman looks like your hairy ass uncle in cheap holloween makeup.

And if that wasn’t bad enough it appears the best thing about that movie is Anthony Hopkin’s.  Is there anything interesting about Wolfman’s plot or visuals?  Does anything happen in Wolfman other than ‘werewolf eats people’?  I’ll pass.

2) Present – Avatar is no longer #1

Ding Dong! The Witch is dead. Which old Witch? The Bluish Witch!

Ding Dong! The Bluish Witch is dead.

Oh wait…they’re #2?  And still made 22 million dollars over Super Bowl weekend?  We should all be so dead.

3) Future – Stretch Armstrong is going to kill the toy movie genre.

And I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.  A Transformers movie made a lot of sense.  A G.I. Joe movie was expected.  A Stretch Armstrong movie is beyond pushing it.  Sure, a lot of people played with the toy for hours on end, but we all played Monopoly too, does that mean it’d make a good movie?  What’s that?  Oh…

…

Still, who the hell cares about Stretch Armstrong?  Or a better question: Who’d go see a movie about Mr. Fantastic?  How about a young Mr. Fantastic with killer abs?  didn’t think so.

Beaze and all his crazy antics, featured articles and random thoughts are now on twitter @Beazewriter

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As told to me by the ghosts of Hollywood past, present and future.

1) Past – The Oscars are still going to suck.

So let me get this straight, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences decided it was going to expand the nominees to a field of 10 in an attempt to “shake things up” and inspire new viewers to tune into their diminishing little party and these are the 10 movies they chose to honor?  What’s so different about these 10 than the previous five?  Up, and what else?  Seems like the same old Hollywood artsy-fartsy club that mainstream America has avoided for the past decade to me.  Check this chart if you don’t believe me.

If anything, the only thing the academy has accomplished is diluting it’s own indie gold pool.  If you’re going to be snobbish, then do it with your nose proudly in the air like people expect, and if you’re going to give the people a voice, then do it with your head held high, but don’t try to straddle the fence.  We all know what happens when a man tries to straddle a fence.

2) Present – Roman Polanski is still a monster.

I don’t typically get upset at “celebrity” issues, but the total disregard for human decency in the way the Berlin Film Festival is triping over themselves to make excuses for Roman Polanski is appalling.  I do not understand how people still want to honor that guy.  Even if your German you have to be a little disturbed that a grown man raped a child.  I already ranted about how unfair the treatment is here.  So now I just want to know how anyone can honestly applaud this man, shake his hand, hand him a trophy and say, “Nice work” without wanting to punch him in the face.  I understand forgiveness, believe me, but I also know that you cannot forgive someone who doesn’t want to be forgiven.

3) Future – Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps is going to make us hate them even more.

Is this really a good time for a wall street movie…where wall streeters are the protagonist?  Does anybody really want to sympathize with them right now?  Does anyone really care to understand them right now?  Would anybody shed a tear for a murdered fat-cat?  My guess is a big fat American no.  Maybe if it was a movie about Joe Shia robbing wall street Robin Hood-style, then people would be up for that, but not a movie glorifying and rationalizing corporate greed.  I know this is an iconic movie with iconic character Gordon Gekko, but I just don’t see “the people” flocking to the theaters to see this.

Oh no, Shia LaBeouf has to hurry up and warn Wall Street of the impeding doom!  Hurry Shia, hurry!  Wait a second…Shia…how about you warn the American people first jerk-wad!

(Sorry Shia, I like you, but you just kind of got caught in the crossfire by playing this character).

Beaze and all his crazy antics, featured articles and random thoughts are now on twitter @Beazewriter

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Exciting stuff, it’s Fokken Awesome to see District 9 crack the nod for Best Picture and 3 other nominations not to be scoffed at. Oh yes and Abadah got a bunch.

A little surprised to see Up and Up in the Air, both up for Best Picture. But it will be amazing if someone with the balls, Mickey Rourke say, gives out the award as such “And the Oscar goes to UP…”, team Up high-five each other and start running down the aisle and when all of a sudden, in the most badass drunk tone Rourke finishes their geeky dreams with “…in the Air!!!”. School Bully comes full circle ya bunch of nerds.

View all the nominations below:

[Via oscar.go.com]
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The Avatar sex scene which was in the script but ultimately left out of the movie because well… no one wants to see that shit. 2 Girls, 1 Cup… Avatar Sex Scene? 2 GIRLS 1 CUP! Everytime. Luckily for you and me, this animated short is not that scripted scene. It comes straight from the twisted mind of an animator Harry Partridge. Harry explains the why exactly he created this bizzare yet hilarious short.

I wanted to make this due to the fact it bugged me in the movie that Jake managed to nail Neytiri with little to no knowledge of Na’vi mating practices. I mean, I’m assuming it’s pretty similar, but considering they have magic hair veins that connect with nature, there’s obviously some pretty big anatomical differences…

You ready for it? Don’t worry it’s SFW… kinda.

View the video after the jump… Read the rest of this entry »

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