Humor District

Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg are the stars of the latest buddy cop movie, The Other Guys, and it looks hilarious. This is the next in a long line of buddy cop movies, and The Other Guys will have a hard time living up to some of them. Of course with Mark Wahlberg playing the straight man against Will Ferrell, I don’t think we have to worry about this movie providing laughs. The only question is if it will provide as many laughs as some of the great buddy cop movies that came before, and how the comedy will be balanced with action. No buddy cop movie is complete without a bad guy meeting justice at the end of a bullet. Or fist. Or bullet fist.

Lethal Weapon

Lethal Weapon is the standard that all buddy cop movies are judged by. When this movie came out, Mel Gibson was still a lovable sort of crazy who played perfectly against Danny Glover. As Sergeant Martin Riggs and Roger Murtaugh, Gibson and Glover made the perfect team. Just picture an old bickering married couple that can kick an extreme amount of ass. While they got on each other’s nerves, Mel Gibson and Danny Glover came together to defeat the bad guys and become best friends. They don’t call them buddy cop movies for nothing after all.

Rush Hour

Before I start talking about Rush Hour, has anybody seen Chris Tucker recently? He has been getting a little chunky, he needs to start hanging out with Jackie Chan again. Speaking of hanging out with Jackie Chan, the main appeal of Rush Hour was the interaction of Chris Tucker’s Detective James Carter and Jackie Chan’s Inspector Lee. The culture clash between the two provided many laughs, and Jackie Chan used the fact that he was Jackie Chan to kung fu bad guys into oblivion. Chris Tucker helped with that a little bit too.

Bad Boys

Will Smith and Martin Lawrence bickered almost as much as Mel Gibson and Danny Glover throughout Bad Boys. Will Smith is the Mel Gibson type character, willing to break rules and take chances to get the job done. Martin Lawrence is the Danny Glover type, often complaining about being too old for this poop despite his relatively young age. Will Smith was definitely cooler. when things got down and dirty though, both Smith and Lawrence were ready to unleash a fiery hail of lead based justice. If only the chief would get off their backs and let them solve crimes their way, at a very high cost to the city!

Hot Fuzz

When it comes to pure comedy, Hot Fuzz is one of the best buddy cop movies around. Simon Pegg and Nick Frost of Shaun of the Dead fame starred as cops in a small town with an unusually high rate of accidents. Nick Frost plays the big innocent dumb guy very well, and Simon Pegg plays the top cop type, although one who doesn’t approve of the tactics often shown in buddy cop movies. Many of the other movies on this list are actually referenced throughout Hot Fuzz. In the end, Simon Pegg realizes there is no better way to rid a small town of corruption than removing the corrupt people with violence. Lots and lots of gratuitous violence. We wouldn’t have it any other way.

Cop Out

Cop Out was Kevin Smith’s recent attempt at a buddy cop movie. While the story wasn’t great, the main characters Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan did a great job saving the movie. The action scenes weren’t very good, but they made up for it with a lot of comedy, which is what Kevin Smith does best. Hopefully The Other Guys takes some pages from the comedy side of Cop Out, but also greatly improves upon the action. A buddy cop movie cannot be considered complete until the amount of violent justice can be described as excessive.

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How do you make a remake worth while?  You take a film classic, add a black cast…stir…wait 2 hours and presto!  You’ve got a fresh new look on an old Hollywood favorite.  Sometimes it doesn’t work out (see the Honeymooners), but other times it’s movie gold.  These are such times.  Happy Black History Month!

5) Death at a Funeral

Original movie: A British version.  Nothing against our neighbors in language, but a lot of the humor just went over my head.  Still a hilarious movie, but lacking that Apple pie feel.

The black version: And so enter these proud Americans:  Chris Rock, Martin Lawrence, Danny Glover, James Marsden, Tracy Morgan, Zoe Saldana, Luke Wilson, Regina King…okay stop, stop, stop.  We’d be here all day if I named all the great actors.  The point is, black funerals are crazy enough as is…if you put this many all-star comedians together, the only Death at a Funeral is going to be of laughter.

4) The Princess and the Frog

Original movie: Technically it was called the Frog Prince, but it was still about a Frog and the Princess.  I don’t recall any movies made about the Frog Prince, but it certainly was a popular fairy tale.

The black version: A mildly successful Disney flick moved out of the forest and into the magical swamps of New Orleans.  I haven’t seen it yet, but The Princess and the Frog does inspire that southern comfort feeling.  No not that southern comfort.

Original movie: Kung-Fu theater.  Pretty much anything with Bruce Lee in it was the inspiration for the Last Dragon.  Bruce Lee was one of the greatest martial arts actors of all time and I don’t know anyone in a urban neighborhood that isn’t a fan.

The black version:  Which gives birth to Bruce LeRoy!  Sho’nuff!  I know this isn’t exactly a remake of Enter the Dragon, but the Last Dragon pretty much put a African American spin on the entire kung-fu genre so I’m adding it anyway.  And the soundtrack?  Killer.

2) Bad Boys

Original movie: Bulletproof Hearts.  Most people don’t realize that Bad Boys was written for Jon Lovitz and Dana Carvey.  I think I speak for all parties involved when I say, I’m glad this version never got made.

The black version: Will Smith and Martin Lawrence were obviously the more hilarious choices. And the more cop-ish choice.  But considering Bad Boys is my absolute favorite movie of all times, I don’t think I need to elaborate anymore.

So what could be a better black-casting (I just made up a new adjective) than my favorite movie of all times?  Well…

1) The Wiz

Original movie: The Wizard of Oz.  A definite classic.  I can’t speak ill of the Wizard of Oz at all.  But wasn’t it a little juvenile?

The black version: Are you freaking kidding me?  I’m sorry but Judy Garland — as wonderful as she was — don’t got nothing on Michael Jackson and Diana Ross.  The music was phenomenal.  Seriously sick.  Even though the Wiz scared the bejesus out of me when I was younger and I used to have nightmares about those motorcycle riding monkey birds, I still can’t stop easin’ on down the road.

Beaze and all his crazy antics, featured articles and random thoughts are now on twitter @Beazewriter

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Once upon a time Hip-Hop culture and the police went together about as well as Conan O’Brien and NBC.  You could get shot just for breathing the word “cop” in certain neighborhoods.  But lately a lot of rappers have traded in their gang paraphernalia (or costuming depending on who you ask) to don the uniforms of true blue heroes.  These are the best portrayal of 5-0 by a rapper.

5) Tupac Shakur

We are starting off cautiously with Tupac Shakur (2 Pac to the Hip-Hop community) since he straddles the fence by playing a corrupt cop in Gang Related, which might as well be a gangsta with a badge.  This was Tupac’s last film role and boy did he go out with a bang (no pun intended, respect Tupac).  You could think of Tupac as the last person who’d want to pretend to be a cop or you could think of his earlier rap career and his many run ins with the law as extensive research.

Best Cop role: Gang Related

4) Marky Mary

Mark Wahlberg has become quite accustomed to wearing the badge.  He’s sported blue in everything from the god-awful Max Payne adaptation to We Own the Night to the critically acclaimed Departed.  But let’s face it, he wasn’t exactly a rough and rugged badboy rapper to begin with.  In fact, playing hard-nosed cops probably increased his street cred.  I know I’d be more afraid of Staff Sgt. Dignam than the boy who desperately needs a belt.

Best Cop role: The Departed

3) LL Cool J

He has a long resume of playing cops, The Hard Way, S.W.A.T., Mindhunters and even the security guard in Halloween: H2O.  But when you are a jacked badass trying to prove yourself as an actor I guess you have to play cops or criminals.  Or cooks apparently.  The best of his demonstration in Law Enforcement is definitely his role opposite Robin Chris O’Donnell in NCIS: Los Angeles.  Though again, LL wasn’t the most threatening rapper outside a battle, so the transition goes a lot smoother than most.

Best Cop role: NCIS: Los Angeles

2) Ice T

Ice T was great as a maverick cop in New Jack City, but somehow he seems more like a perp than a detective in Law & Order: SVU.  I love the show and I love his role on the show, but it’s hard to shake his pimpin’ image from your brain and suspend disbelief that much, especially when he still behaves like a pimp off camera.

Best Cop role: Law & Order: SVU

1) Fresh Prince/Will Smith

I don’t think there are many roles he hasn’t played, but he sure likes being a cop.  His back story is a detective in Men In Black, he plays a cowboy sheriff in Wild Wild West, a future cop in I, Robot, and a buddy cop in Bad Boys.  It’s pretty safe to say that if Will Smith is on the case it’s going to get solved.

Best Cop role: Bad Boys

Beaze and all his crazy antics, featured articles and random thoughts are now on twitter @Beazewriter

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