Biggest Culprits: Twilight, Underworld, Van Helsing, Zombieland, I Am Legend, Blood: the Last Vampire, 28 Days Later
What it should be replaced with: Angels and Messiahs. Hasn’t the dark side gotten enough attention? People get really excited when bad guys do the slightest bit of good, but what about the good guys with the burden to do great? Let’s raise our standards a little.
Biggest Culprits: Lions for Lambs, Stop Loss, Body of Lies, The Hurt Locker, The Kingdom, In the Valley of Elah
What it should be replaced with: Fantasy wars. Once upon a time filmmakers were subtle about their political agendas. They made movies with fictitious apes to comment on civil rights and audiences were none the wiser, or at least pretended to be. Give me apes, aliens or even Cobra Commander, but please stop using real wars with real people as the playground for your social commentary.
Biggest Culprits: Star Trek, Batman, Hulk, Land of the Lost, Pink Panther, Friday the 13th
What it should be replaced with: Next generation. It’s obvious that people like familiar stories and Hollywood likes to take the easy way out, but stop cheating! You can use familiar franchises with fresh characters. Danny Glover and Mel Gibson have to actually be too old for this s— right? So instead of casting Dwayne Johnson and Sean William Scott as Riggs and Murtaugh in a Lethal Weapon reboot, cast the next hot-young-thing as new detectives and cameo our favorite odd couple as police chiefs. Murtaughs kids have to be cop age right?
Biggest Culprits: The Cove, Battle for Terra, The Happening, Wall-E, The Road, 9, The Day After Tomorrow
What it should be replaced with: Health-care preaching. Repo Men is a good start. I am not worried about the earth dying, but I am worried about dying in the emergency room or not even making it to the hospital because I can’t afford the ride.
Biggest Culprits: Saw, Hostel, Wolf Creek, Turistas, Captivity, Funny Games
What it should be replaced with: Massacres. We’ve seen how a deranged serial killer thinks and explored the one-on-one relationship between victim and murderer, but anybody can kill one person at a time. What about those who kill and keep it moving, racking up dozens of victims in a matter of minutes? What about those who don’t get intimate with their prey? How do they tick? If you were trapped inside a mall with a stealthy mass murderer would you hide, run or fight back? Would you help others or look out for yourself? I want to see those movies.
Beaze and all his crazy antics, featured articles and random thoughts are now on twitter @Beazewriter
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