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Actresses Your Grandpa Had a Crush On

Posted by Jordan On May - 20 - 2010

Movies have always been a great opportunity to see some very attractive women. It was figured out very early that the best way to get men to come see a movie is by having violence and beautiful women. It also helps to serve steak and beer in the lobby of the theater, but that is a less common business practice. So while the olden days might have had 5 cent hot dogs and people who read the newspaper, we can agree that every era has their fair share of hotness in the female form.

Audrey Hepburn

Audrey Hepburn is essentially a synonym for beauty. She was ridiculously good looking during her prime and had that rare attribute of aging gracefully. Her slim features are easily recognizable and live on past her death as the standard for beauty. I know I would have spent a week’s wages on a 10 cent ticket to go see Audrey Hepburn in a movie. Pretty much every guy did, and that turned her into a star.

Marilyn Monroe

When you think of the term “sex symbol” the first image that pops into your head probably isn’t fit to write about on a family friendly site such as this. In a close second is Marilyn Monroe. She was sex incarnate. With rumors linking her to such famous men as JFK and her marriage to Joe DiMaggio, it is no surprise that Joe Everyman wanted a piece. Her role in Gentleman Prefer Blondes showed the  way she could use her good looks to do what she wanted, much like she could in life.

Raquel Welch

One Million Years B.C. claimed on the movie poster that “this is the way it was”. Now I’m no history buff, but I am fairly sure that dinosaurs didn’t coexist with humans, and I am also fairly certain that cavewomen were nowhere near as hot as Raquel Welch. She was the reason for the movie’s other tag line: “…discover a savage world whose only law is lust”. After seeing Raquel Welch in her cavelady outfit, I would totally take on a velociraptor.

Sophia Loren

Sophia Loren is the only one of these actresses who has appeared in a movie recently. That is most likely because the only other woman still alive from this list is Raquel Welch. It is interesting to see how Sophia Loren has aged, because even as a woman who has seen many years, you can tell she was a fox in her day. She starred in movies as the love interest of such actors as Clark Gable, Charlton Heston, and Paul Newman. If she was a good enough for them she is definitely good enough for me.

Rita Hayworth

Before Marilyn Monroe came around, Rita Hayworth was the sex symbol of America. Her dance experience gave her moves that people went crazy for. She not only starred in movies with men like Fred Astaire, but became one of the most popular pin-up girls of all time. She was also extremely proud of never doing a nude scene in a movie, much to the disappointment of men all over. She did, however, come close. Ask your grandpa about it, he’ll fill you in.

Popularity: 23% [?]

5 Examples of Movies Making Roman/Greek History Awesome

Posted by Jordan On February - 26 - 2010

It doesn’t really take a blockbuster movie to make the days of the ancient Romans and Greeks seem awesome. There were so many wars going, gladiatorial battles, and gods coming down and knocking up mortal women that it seems like every day was an adventure on a grand scale. Of course movies and television shows aren’t satisfied with this level of greatness, and put in as much action, sex, and more action that they can. That’s what makes these eras perfect for movies.

5) Spartacus: Blood and Sand
Spartacus Blood and Sand

This is the latest show based in ancient Rome. Spartacus is the most famous of the gladiators to fight in the Colosseum. This show has an extreme amount of blood and violence, and pretty much any time that there isn’t somebody being decapitated there is some crazy sex going on. The only drawback is the male nudity. I’m sure some people like me, and there was a lot of nudity going on during that time period, I’m just not a huge fan of dongs flapping in the wind.

4) Rome
HBO Rome

Rome was a great show on HBO. It followed ancient Rome as historical events turned Rome into an Empire. This show did a great job of weaving actual historical events and notable figures through the eyes of two common soldiers. Ray Stevenson plays Titus Pullo, one of those common soldiers and also a complete bad ass.

3) Ben-Hur
Ben-Hur

Ben-Hur is a classic. It might be ridiculously long, but that’s just because it covers so much. Charlton Heston plays a Jewish prince who gets the shaft from his childhood friend Mesalla, and becomes a slave. He works his way up and becomes loved by the Romans, participates in the most bad ass chariot race that has ever happened, and hangs out with Jesus a little bit. While this is an older movie, it is just as powerful, if not more so, than any other movie on this list.

2) Troy
Troy

Brad Pitt is awesome in Troy as Achilles. Basically all 6 hours of Troy are great to watch because it really is seeing ancient legends come to life. We get to see a demigod tear through mortal men until a lucky shot brings him down, we see how insanely hot Helen of Troy is, and we see what a pussy Paris was. For those of you who don’t know your Greek history, Paris is the guy who stole Helen away from Menelaus and started the war. Eric Bana plays Prince Hector, Paris’ older brother, and possibly the coolest guy in the movie who dies for his brother. I hate you Paris.

1) Gladiator
Gladiator

Russell Crowe made a name for himself in Gladiator. That doesn’t mean that people didn’t know who Russell Crowe was before Gladiator, but he was a household name after. Gladiator was an extremely well done movie chronicling the fall of a Roman soldier into the arena as a Gladiator, and how his fighting prowess made him the most influential man alive. The fight scenes are brutal and extremely well done, and let’s be honest, that’s what most of us care about. The entire story is an inspiring one though, as a man loses everything, his power, his family,and his country, only to rise up higher than ever before.

Popularity: 6% [?]

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