Humor District

Conan O’Brien is best known for being tall, having goofy red hair, and having a hilarious late night talk show. The only thing is, he stopped having a late night talk show for a while. There was a big tiff between Jay Leno wanting Conan’s airtime so Conan’s hair didn’t overshadow Jay Leno’s chin. Conan doesn’t take any disrespect like that and refused to give up his time. The network then decided the best way to deal with this dispute was to fire the red headed comedian. Was his hair color a factor in the decision? Yes. Conan took a hiatus from the late night talk show scene, but it didn’t last. He was quickly picked up by TBS and now Conan has a new show aptly named Conan, and this show is ridiculously popular. There were around six million viewers for one episode alone. Why does Conan’s hair have so much more appeal than Leno’s chin? Let’s take a look at the facts:

Conan is the Underdog

During the whole Conan O’Brien vs. Jay Leno fiasco, Jay Leno came off looking like the big bad bully and NBC came off looking even worse. They were the kids on the playground who tried to take little Conan’s Pokemon cards, and when Conan said no they pushed him over and took those cards anyway. Conan just wanted to keep what was his and tried to make a stand against the studio and Jay Leno, effectively becoming the underdog in the public’s eye. Everyone loves an underdog, and thus came about the birth of Team Coco, a group of fans passionately dedicated to supporting Conan O’Brien and everything he does.

Conan Connected with Fans

Conan embraced Team Coco, and during his time away from television he did a lot to connect with his fans. He did skits for the internet where he would directly answer questions from fans, and even do their homework for them. That is a dedicated man right there. Conan is also very careful to cultivate an everyman type of image, never flaunting his wealth even though he could afford a fleet of cars to rival Jay Leno’s. He works hard to make himself seem accessible to the Average Joe’s of the country, and that is where a lot of his success comes from. His fans can relate to him and his comedy.

Conan is Actually Funny

Do you know what Conan did when NBC announced they were letting him go? He created a character for a skit called the Bugatti Veyron Mouse. The Bugatti Veyron Mouse was actually a Bugatti Veyron, a $1.5 million car, with little mouse ears put on it. Conan admitted the only purpose of the skit was to spend his boss’s money. That is hilarious. His normal skits are pretty entertaining as well, and he has created such gems as the masturbating bear, hornymanatee.com, and Quackers, the shit eating duck. Conan O’Brien knows how to make us laugh, and as long as he keeps doing that we will continue to boost the ratings for his show.

Conan Captured the Young Audience

Conan O’Brien’s jokes are mostly aimed towards a younger audience. By that I mean people under 50. Therefore he is aimed towards the majority of people who are going to be up late watching television, rather than the old folks Jay Leno panders to. Conan is energetic with his skits and uses some off color humor that makes stoned college kids spit out their easy mac with laughter. Obviously a running joke about a masturbating bear is going to appear to a more juvenile audience, but being juvenile is fun. As many are starting to realize, the younger generation has quite a bit of power when it comes to ratings, so Conan has picked a very good group to aim his comedy at.

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As told to me by the ghosts of Hollywood past, present and future.

Past: Hulk Hogan is the cause of movies like the Tooth Fairy.

When wrestling icon Hulk Hogan signed on to star in Mr. Nanny in 1993 he cursed action stars for eternity.  Now any meathead who can bench press the director is obligated to sell his testicles if he wants to “cross over” and attract a young female audience to combine with his massive male audience.  This must be what Vin Diesel (the Pacifier) and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (The Tooth Fairy) believe.  Right?

But my question is, does the same work in reverse?  Could you ever have a movie starring a domesticated female who suddenly finds herself the go-to-hero on a bloody battlefield surviving by using techniques she learned in the kitchen?  Could Renee Zellweger or Carrie Brad…Sarah Jessica Parker go from shopaholics to rage-a-holics?  Let’s all pray they try.

Present: Disney will never cast a black princess again.

Before the Princess and the Frog struggled to break the century mark, the last Disney animated adventure to gross less than 100 million was Meet the Robinson’s in March of 2007.  In that span, Bolt, Ratatouille, Wall-E, Up and A Christmas Carol all top 9 figures.  So a dog, rat, robot and a couple of geezers are all more bankable than a black princess, who by the way turns into a slimy, ugly frog.

Maybe it’s because of all the “hey come see Disney’s first black princess” advertising.  People don’t like to be sold.  I think if they’d advertised, “hey come watch this princess adventure with your daughters” the audience would have figure out she was black on their own.  But anyway, America has spoken.  Black President, yes we can.  Black princess, no not yet.

Future: NBC will never be a ratings juggernaut with it’s current executives.

After NBC punted Conan O’Brien on 2nd down there is no way they are getting the ratings-ball back.  And I’m not just talking about at 11:30 either.  This clearly shows that no one at that network with any pull has vision or balls, two essentials in building a winning team.  After 5 years of planning, yanking O’Brien after a couple of months is spineless.  Anybody remember the old saying, “no guts, no glory”?

This explains why they are constantly one step behind in breakthrough programming and cheating off the other networks papers (see: America’s Got Talent and the Listener as prime examples).  And let’s pretend for a second that they “had” to cancel Conan because of low ratings.  Are you telling me they didn’t see any holes or warning signs during that 5 year span?  If not, someone should probably reevaluate their career choice.

Beaze and all his crazy antics, featured articles and random thoughts are now on twitter @Beazewriter

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Conan released a statement today saying he no longer wants to host “The Tonight Show” and plans to move on. This comes after NBC decided recently to put the ol’ hack, Leno back at 11:35pm time period. This has always been the regular slot for “Tonight” since the begining of time (well for decades but whos counting).

It’s a slap in the face for The Conebone and like us he’s pissed. In his recent statement Coco mentions “I sincerely believe that delaying the ‘Tonight Show’ into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. ‘The Tonight Show’ at 12:05 simply isn’t the ‘Tonight Show.” Read his full statement below:

People of Earth:

In the last few days, I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I’ve been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I’ve been absurdly lucky. That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.

Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.

But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.

Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35. For 60 years the Tonight Show has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn’t the Tonight Show. Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the Late Night show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.

So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn’t matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more.

There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.

Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it’s always been that way.

Yours,

Conan

[Source: MovieLine]

Update:
Via Deadline, who’s covering this debarcle by the hour:

Insiders say O’Brien’s reps didn’t want him to do it. “They were not thrilled. They told him it would undercut his negotiating leverage,” one source revealed to me. “But Conan wouldn’t listen to them. He wanted to make it.” When Conan read the statement (above) to the staff, “he broke up. He began to cry,” one of my insiders reveals. “Because for 17 years he was working towards The Tonight Show, and now he says he’s prepared to walk away from it.”

I grew up watching Conan, his show I believe has helped shape my sense of humor more than any other. The decisions he has made over this period given him a tremendous amount of respect from me. 17 Years he’s been working towards The Tonight Show and now after only 7 months he’s now willing to walk away, admirable, but it truely it’s a sad day.

Update:

Conan O’Brien’s monologue last night was almost poignant:

Hello, my name is Conan O’Brien, and I may soon be available for children’s parties. Welcome to NBC. Where our new slogan is, ‘No longer just screwing up prime-time.’ When I was a little boy, I remember watching The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson and thinking ‘Someday, I’m going to host that show for 7 months.’ NBC says they’re planning to have the late night situation worked out before the Winter Olympics start. And trust me, when NBC says something – you can take that to the bank!”

Update:

David Letterman discusses the Late Night Mess and gives some history if you missed it.

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