Humor District

2010 has drawn to a close and many of us are still optimistic about our lists of resolutions. This is because a new year brings with it new possibilities and new hope. This year we will finally be able to shed those unwanted pounds. This year we will find true love. This year we will poop out diamonds and suddenly become irresistible to the opposite sex. Well, most of those resolutions will be abandoned by the end of the week, but one thing that can be said is 2011 should be a great year for movies, especially comic book movies. Even if you are perfect already and don’t have any changes to make in this coming year, you should still be looking forward to the rest of 2011 simply because of these movies.

Thor

We have already seen the trailer for Thor, and it looks amazing. Marvel has had some success with their superhero franchises, most notably with Iron Man and Spider-Man, and it definitely looks like Thor will add to that success. With big names such as Natalie Portman and Anthony Hopkins involved with Thor, it is very easy to be optimistic. Add the fact that Chris Hemsworth looks every inch the petulant but heroic God of Thunder and we should have an exciting movie on our hands.

Captain America: The First Avenger

Captain America: The First Avenger has been somewhat overshadowed by Thor, but it is Captain America who has more pressure to succeed. The reason for this is simple, all these Marvel movies are leading up to an Avengers movie that will feature many Marvel superheroes. As the title of his movie suggests, Captain America is an integral part of the Avengers team. I see no need to worry about the success of Captain America though, seeing Chris Evans battle Nazis as a patriotic super soldier should entertain every red, white, and blue blooded American.

Your Highness

Simply put, Your Highness looks like it will be the funniest movie of 2011. Danny McBride and James Franco form a great comedy duo, as shown briefly in Pineapple Express. It will also help that David Gordon Green, the director of Pineapple Express, will also be directing Your Highness. Sure, this is a crude type of humor, finding comedy in masturbation jokes and foul language. That doesn’t make it less funny, and we will get to see Natalie Portman in a thong. It’s pretty much been decided that whatever movie she is in will become one of the most anticipated movies for that year.

The Hangover 2

In the running for comedy of the year will be The Hangover 2. Movies about guys getting drunk and doing ridiculous things relatively consequence free that we could never get away with in real life are always entertaining. What will make this movie great is the same thing that made the first one hilarious; the cameos. It is rumored that Ken Jeong and Mike Tyson will have repeat appearances, and Liam Neeson and Bill Clinton will be showing up to party as well. While there is controversy about Mel Gibson being dropped from the movie, I think Slick Willy will be plenty entertaining to make up for it.

Super 8

I’m not sure what I can say about Super 8 other than it is being directed by J. J. Abrams and it is about Area 51 in 1979. Those are about the only details of this movie that anyone knows at this point. Despite the lack of information, I dare you to watch this trailer and not agree that it is going to be awesome.

Green Lantern

I will admit that I am biased about Green Lantern. I am automatically assuming that Green Lantern will be awesome for several reason. First, I love comic books and Green Lantern is one of my favorite superheroes. Second, Ryan Reynolds is my man crush. With those two things combined, I can’t imagine anything resulting except for greatness. I am also pretty sure everyone else will enjoy Green Lantern because it is a movie about an intergalactic space cop hunting down alien criminals AKA the best idea anyone has ever had, ever.

Sucker Punch

Zack Snyder has gained a reputation for visually appealing and entertaining movies, and rightly so. Sucker Punch will add to that list of movies. The trailer has shown it will be stunning visually, and considering that it is basically Alice in Wonderland meets foxy boxing I don’t think the entertainment value will be anything to worry about. Any movie about a bunch of attractive and crazy girls trying to bust out of an asylum by fighting dragons, flying planes, and doing backflips in skimpy outfits will be pretty popular.

The Green Hornet

The biggest question about The Green Hornet is how believable Seth Rogen will be as a superhero. The part that people have to understand is that Seth Rogen won’t really be the superhero in the “guy who kicks a lot of ass” sense. Those ass kicking duties will be handled by Jay Chou as Kato, who will deliver many side flip kicks to the top of criminals’ heads. Seth Rogen is just the guy who funds the operation, has his heart in the right place, and will occasionally crack a joke or a bad guy’s skull. If people can accept this, than The Green Hornet will be a very entertaining action comedy. Plus it has the Black Beauty, one of the most awesome cars to ever be invented.

Popularity: 14% [?]

Eastbound and Down is one of the best shows on television. Danny McBride is crude, vulgar, and absolutely hilarious. It seems that the new movie Your Highness will be relying on a similar formula, and after watching the trailer I think it will be quite successful. First, let’s take a look at the cast. Four of the main characters are Danny McBride, James Franco, Natalie Portman, and Zooey Deschanel. We have the comedy covered by McBride and Franco and the pure hotness covered by Natalie Portman and Zooey Deschanel. Oh, and they are all good actors, but I don’t think good acting will have too much of a place in this movie. The director is David Gordon Green, who you may remember as the director of Pineapple Express. So yeah, this movie will be extremely entertaining, but probably won’t qualify as a cinematic masterpiece. And if you need anymore convincing to watch this trailer, just know this: it has Natalie Portman in a thong. I can write anything I want from here on out because I know you aren’t still reading this after that last sentence.

If you are not laughing after that you must have recently suffered some great tragedy, and I am sorry for your loss. For the rest of us, that trailer leaves us anxiously awaiting April 2011 when Your Highness will be released in theaters.

Popularity: 1% [?]

In the inaugural issue of Premature Reviews we will look at the good, the bad, and the interesting in upcoming movies. None of these movies has been released yet, so this will be an exercise in psychic abilities. Let’s see what movies you should go out and see and which should be avoided.

Matt Damon and director Paul Greengrass have already proven to be a good team with the Jason Bourne series. I am expecting them to show more of the same with the upcoming movie Green Zone. This time Matt Damon will be playing Chief Warrant Officer Roy Miller and be in search of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. While the name has changed, Matt Damon will still be ridiculously good at whatever it is he does, and I’m assuming that will include killing a large number of people. The action scenes will be great, there will be some explosions, and the story lends itself to some interesting potential plot twists. Since Green Zone is set during the early days of the Iraqi War, there is a lot of potential to show the events that led to larger conflicts. The fact that Roy Miller won’t have reliable information to base his investigation off of leads me to believe he will end up going solo and preventing a weapon of mass destruction from being unleashed. I give Green Zone a premature rating of 4/5 Jason Bournes.

Irreverent comedies have become all the rage these days, mostly because of Seth Rogen comedies like Knocked Up and Pineapple Express. The difference between those movies and Hot Tub Time Machine is they had plots that actually made some sense. Sure they might have gotten outrageous at times, and some might argue that having a hot tub that travels through time is no different than a DeLorean that travels through time. I would tell those some to shut up. I just can’t see Hot Tub Time Machine becoming a classic like Back to the Future. The only thing that saves Hot Tub Time Machine at all is its cast. Craig Robinson is better known as Darell from The Office, and he is absolutely hilarious. John Cusack, Rob Corddry, and Clark Duke should provide some laughs as well. In the end all Hot Tub Time Machine will have is some good one-liners. I give this a premature rating of 2/5 disco balls.

Tim Burton has a unique film style that seems to produce unforgettable movies like The Nightmare Before Christmas, or movies we can’t forget soon enough like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The issue I have with Alice in Wonderland is it seems to be leaning more towards Charlie and the Chocolate Factory territory. What we love about Tim Burton is the unique nature of his movies, but sometimes that nature doesn’t translate well to remakes of movies that are already considered classics. At the same time, Alice in Wonderland seems to lend itself better to the craziness that is Tim Burton’s mind. I predict that Alice in Wonderland will be hated by some and loved by others, and that I will be one of the others. Alice gets a premature rating of 4/5 white rabbits.

Popularity: 1% [?]