Humor District

An awesome list of the 25 Greatest Unscripted Movie Scenes compiled by a fan. There may be a few spoilers but all in all its a great list. Keep the captions on as they’ll give an explanation on each scene.

Movies featured in no specific order: Saving Private Ryan, Being John Malkovich, Full Metal Jacket, Caddyshack, Warriors, Dumb and Dumber, 40 Year Old Virgin, Good Will Hunting, The Dark Knight, Aliens, Tootsie, The Usual Suspects, The Godfather, Dr Strangelove, Jaws, Reservoir Dogs, Casablanca, The Shinning, Blade Runner, Taxi Driver, A Clockwork Orange, Silence of the Lambs.

Popularity: 3% [?]

The first trailer release for The Dark Knight Rises. I see they’re also naming it Batman 3, which is a little weird. Get exited! Watch it below.

Plot:
Bane spreads chaos in Gotham in order to lure and weaken Batman, and break him.

Also interesting to note, Christian Bale has stated that he would not play Batman if Robin was in any of these 3 films. Christopher Nolan agreed not to include Robin as it would undermine the dark tone of his series.

Popularity: 3% [?]

In a recent interview with E! Christian Bale revealed that he does not currently have plans on reprising his role as Batman beyond The Dark Knight Rises. Before you start crying into your pillows, there are several things that need to be looked at here. First off, it appears that Christian Bale’s connection to Batman will only last as long as Christopher Nolan’s connection to the Batman franchise. As of right now it appears that Christopher Nolan is only planning on doing the three Batman movies, with The Dark Knight Rises being his last. Then again, Christopher Nolan is famously secretive, so who knows what his real plans are. For all we know, Nolan is planning on doing ten more Batman movies with Christian Bale. While that is unlikely, it is possible.

Secondly, the Batman franchise has been ridiculously successful, especially The Dark Knight. That means that no matter what happens, you can be fairly confident in betting there will be multiple Batman movies in the future. This doesn’t necessarily mean that Nolan and Bale will be involved. They have been great in the first two Batman movies, but they don’t seem like the types to continue working on a franchise just to churn out sequels and make money. Basically I am saying they actually have integrity. If they don’t feel like they can put out a quality movie, they most likely won’t do it. This is excellent news for the Batman movies they do make, but poor news for those who want to see continual installments in this franchise. Overall, it looks as though this could very well be the last Batman movie we see with Christian Bale in the suit and Christopher Nolan at the helm, but only time can tell.

Popularity: 7% [?]

The previous installments in Christopher Nolan’s Batman franchise haven’t had much focus on female characters. The only female of any importance has been Rachel Dawes, who has been portrayed by Katie Holmes and Maggie Gyllenhaal. I don’t think we will be seeing either of them as Rachel Dawes in The Dark Knight Rises considering the many pieces she was in after The Dark Knight, courtesy of the Joker. It seems that Christopher Nolan has decided that there needs to be more of a woman’s touch in his next movie to compliment the sheer manliness of Christian Bale as Batman. It also seems like Commissioner Gordon might be getting a new lady friend.

According to Comic Book Movie, the script for The Dark Knight Rises features twice the number of women than seen in previous Batman movies. That brings the total for the next movie to two female characters! These ladies in question are Detective Sarah Essen and Julie Madison. Those of you who are familiar with the comics may remember Sarah Essen as Jim Gordon’s love interest, but he is already married with children in the previous Batman movies. Will Jim Gordon be having some extracurricular activities going on? It is rumored that Charlize Theron has been approached for the role of Sarah Essen.

Of course Batman can’t go without a damsel in distress to save, so Julie Madison makes sense as a character. She is basically a rich girl who falls in love with Bruce Wayne and seems to get captured by villains a lot. She has actually been in comic books and a previous Batman movie, just not one of Nolan’s. This gives Batman something to do in the evenings, and allows Christopher Nolan to cast some eye candy for the male masses. Of course this is still all rumor at this point, but it sure would be nice to see some more ladies with a prominent role in the Batman franchise.

Popularity: 7% [?]

The next installment in the Batman franchise has been creating a lot of buzz. This is mostly because nobody has any idea where Christopher Nolan is going to take it. The only things that can be said about the movie with any certainty are that Christian Bale will be Batman, Christopher Nolan will be directing, and at least some of the filming will be done in New Orleans. Other than that, it is pretty much just speculation at this point. The really big question at this point is what villain Batman will be facing off against. One thing is for sure, the next villain will have some big shoes to fill after Heath Ledger’s portrayal of  Joker.

Killer Croc

According to the creator of Kick-Ass, Mark Millar, Killer Croc is going to be Batman’s nemesis in the next movie. Mark Millar hinted on his Twitter account that he had insider information on who the villain was going to be, and that the filming location of New Orleans was very relevant. Killer Croc is a man with tremendous strength, great lung capacity, and less than impressive intellect. He also resembles a crocodile. What villain would fit better in a New Orleans location?

Riddler

Most of the villain rumors floating around the internet involve the Riddler in some capacity, and whether it will be Johnny Depp, Dane Cook, or Eddie Murphy who will be portraying him. The thing is, the Riddler makes sense as a Batman villain. He is capable of setting up an elaborate crime spree/puzzle that will keep Batman on his toes and the audience on the edge of their seats. Christopher Nolan is also the type of director who can analyze the Riddler’s motivation, and whether he leaves riddles because of the thrill of the game or because he wants to get caught.

Catwoman

With the death of Rachel Dawes in The Dark Knight, both Batman and Bruce Wayne are pretty much devoid of female company. Sure, Bruce Wayne has the whole billionaire playboy schtick that involves numerous lady types, but they don’t really count as romantic interests. Catwoman could fill this role quite nicely, leading Batman on chases throughout the city while he struggles to discover his true feelings about her. Her alter ego, Selina Kyle, could also enter Bruce Wayne’s life around the same time. The plot thickens!

Penguin

Christopher Nolan has gone on record as saying Penguin is a bit too campy of a character for his taste. At the same time, he could easily transform the Penguin from a waddling joke to a criminal mastermind that has to be taken seriously. One actor whose name is thrown around frequently for this role is Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Give him a beak-like nose and a big budget and he could give Batman some real troubles. I don’t think Nolan would keep the umbrella machine guns, though.

Scarecrow

The Scarecrow might appear in the third installment in the Batman franchise simply because he has been in the previous two movies. It is highly doubtful that Scarecrow will be the main foe Batman faces off against, as he and his fear toxin were already featured prominently in Batman Begins, but he might make an appearance. It could be one of those little details that helps to bring a series of movies together.

Popularity: 13% [?]

The Dark Knight was a ridiculously successful movie, both financially and critically. Christopher Nolan’s work on the Batman franchise has created a huge fan following and a great demand for another installment in the Batman saga.  Christopher Nolan has been confirmed as the director of the as of yet untitled Batman 3 movie, but so far that is about the only fact that has surfaced about the movie. On the other hand, there has been no shortage of rumors about the next movie. It seems that everybody with access to a message board has some inside connection to the movie and is revealing some big twist. The problem is these revealed twists are stupid as hell, and nobody in their right mind would believe them. These are the most ridiculous Batman 3 rumors that can be found on the web.*

Christian Bale Out?

Christian Bale has cemented himself in the minds of fans as the ideal actor for Batman. He has put on great performances as the caped crusader in Christopher Nolan’s first two Batman films, and there is no reason that he wouldn’t do the same. Nonetheless, a rumor appeared stating that Sam Worthington would be replacing Christian Bale as the dark knight. The two co-starred in Terminator Salvation, but that seems to be about the only connection. Sam Worthington is a capable action movie star, but there is no way that Christian Bale would be replaced as Batman by anyone, not at this point in the franchise.

Two-Face Lives

Before you read on, know that this paragraph contains a spoiler alert about the ending of The Dark Knight. If you aven’t seen The Dark Knight, take this time to go watch it. Preferably on Blu-Ray. Now that you have done that, you know that Harvey Dent/Two-Face died at the end of The Dark Knight. Or did he? Many rumor mongers have said Two-Face will return since no casket was seen at his public funeral. With that said, Aaron Eckhart and Christopher Nolan have both publicly stated in numerous interviews that Two-Face is dead. Even the script for The Dark Knight confirms this: “Dent lies at the bottom of the hole, his neck broken…DEAD.”

Here Comes Robin

Shia LaBeouf has emerged as a big name in Hollywood, mostly for his work on Michael Bay’s Transformers series. He is also well known for being a terrible addition to the Indiana Jones franchise. Now rumors have appeared that he will be assuming another sidekick role as Robin. The problem with this is Christopher Nolan and Christian Bale have both voiced their disdain for Robin as a character. Bale went so far as to say he would not be involved with a Batman movie that also had a Robin. The whole feel of Christopher Nolan’s Batman is far too dark for a kid sidekick to be involved.

Villains, Villains, Villains

There have been many rumors about which villains will appear in the next Batman movie. Some of the more ridiculous rumors have Cher playing Catwoman, Eddie Murphy playing the Riddler, and Phillip Seymour Hoffman playing the Penguin. Others have Megan Fox as Catwoman and Johnny Depp or Dane Cook as the Riddler. Not only are some/most of these rumored casting choices terrible, the script hasn’t even been finished yet. At this point it is still a mystery which villains will be in the movie, much less which actors will be playing those villains.

Batman 3-D

One rumor that as been picking up steam is that the next Batman movie will be filmed entirely in 3-D. This actually does make some sense, as 3-D movies are a bit of a craze in Hollywood at the moment. Another benefit of 3-D movies is that tickets sell for more. Still, the whole 3-D craze is fairly gimmicky, and Christopher Nolan has never been one to rely on gimmicks. It is more likely that Christopher Nolan would film the entire movie in IMAX, like certain scenes in The Dark Knight. Even that is highly doubtful though.

*This list is subject to change as stupid rumors are proven to be true.

Popularity: 11% [?]

Roger Ebert is still yet to review The Expendables. Grab our RSS Feed to be notified when he does, and we’ve published a few Expendable trailers which you can view here.

Now I don’t mean to use any harsh language, but Roger Ebert has proven himself to be a fuddy duddy. A 1/5 rating for Kick-Ass? Really? Now I hate to be the writer to make all the “Kick-Ass lived up to the name” references, but it can’t be helped, Kick-Ass truly did kick ass. It is just baffling that a comic book movie that can be legitimately compared to The Dark Knight and Iron Man in terms of quality would receive the lowest rating possible.

Let’s go over Mr. Ebert’s review. He seems to be thrown off by the high levels of violence in Kick-Ass, especially the violence by 11 year old Chloe Grace Moretz as Hit-Girl. Ebert seemed particularly offended that Hit-Girl got the crap beat out of her by a grown man. It was, admittedly, a little uncomfortable to watch a grown man pummel a little girl, but it fit in with the semi-realistic nature of the movie. Small children do not have the mass to fight fully grown gangsters in hand to hand combat. Look at this image from the Kick-Ass graphic novel and tell me the violence was not to be expected.

Yet, Mr. Ebert had no problem whatsoever with the over the top violence and gore in Kill Bill, even though that featured a young girl in a schoolgirl outfit named Gogo Gabari fighting with a spiked ball on a chain who was violently killed. In fact, Ebert gave Kill Bill a rating of 4/5.

Now I’m not trying to bring down Kill Bill, I thoroughly enjoyed both movies, I am just pointing out that Roger Ebert’s stance on violence against the youth seems to be a little uneven. It seems that Mr. Ebert is more likely to give somebody like Quentin Tarantino some leeway in reviews, while coming down hard on lesser known comic properties. This is truly a shame, as Kick-Ass could be starting a trend of great movies based off of less mainstream comics with movies like The Losers and Scott Pilgrim coming out.

Kick-Ass did not try and hide the nature of the movie. It’s name is Kick-Ass, of course there is going to be violence, especially since it is a semi-realistic view of what would happen if somebody dressed up as a superhero and tried to fight crime. They would most likely get their ass kicked. Even the trailer opened up with a man dressed in a falcon-like costume falling to his death. Kick-Ass did a great job mixing in humor into what on the outside seems like a pretty bleak world. Even Mr. Ebert had to admit that the movie started off hilariously. I was lucky enough to attend an advanced screening of Kick-Ass, and the entire audience was reacting to every scene. Almost everything that happened in the movie elicited some sort of reaction from the crowd, whether it was laughter, gasps, or appreciative oohs. The end, which Mr. Ebert claimed was dark and made him sad, still got a great positive reaction from the audience, and nobody could stop talking about Kick-Ass on their way out of the theater. I believe that is a far larger sign of a great movie than a review by Roger Ebert. In the end, a movie that draws that kind of positive reaction from the general audience is sure to be remembered as a good one. If you are interested in seeing a good movie, I highly recommend Kick-Ass, but be warned, it features violence and strong language, hence the “R” rating. Duh. Humor District gives Roger Ebert a rating of Looks Like a Woman and Kick-Ass a rating of 4/5.

Popularity: 6% [?]

We took 64 of the meanest and nastiest movie villains ever created and brought them together for a no holds-barred tournament, to find out who is the evilest villain of all times.  For rules and details about the selection process click here.

ROUND 1: Northeast Region

ROUND 1: Northwest Region

ROUND 1: Southeast Region

ROUND 1: Southwest Region

ROUND 2: East Region

ROUND 2: West Region

SWEET 16: East Region

SWEET 16: West Region

ELITE 8

FINAL FOUR: East Region

FINAL FOUR: West Region

Click image to see an enlarged bracket.

It’s the ultimate showdown between two guys you’d never want to see in a dark alley.  The Joker climbed his way through some pretty stiff competition in Chucky and Freddy Krueger, two men who could’ve easily won any other bracket.  Meanwhile the Terminator buzz-sawed his way through much weaker Cinderella’s in Gordon Gekko and the Creeper, but none of that matters now.  It’s one on one.  Let’s get it on!

VS.

(1) Joker – The Dark Knight

(2) Terminator – Terminator

Battle: This is definitely an odd couple matchup.  We’re comparing Apples to Oranges, and that’s what so cool.  The Joker is evil for evil’s sake while the Terminator is evil with a purpose.  The Joker seems to take the time to scheme and plan while the terminator is literally a killing machine.

Neither of them has a soul.

The Terminators use our own technology against us and hunt down human beings much like how exterminators spray coach roaches.  Only imagine the exterminator tearing down the walls to gas their nests and staying up all night to guarding their traps.  That’s what the Terminators do to the human race.

The Joker could blow up a school bus full of children just as easily as he could shoot a full grown man.  Nobody is innocent or immune to his wrath.  He wakes up every morning thinking about how to rain chaos on the city of Gotham and then goes to sleep at night without losing a wink of sleep.  The caveat though is this: the Terminator does all that, only he doesn’t need to sleep.

Click image to see an enlarged bracket.

The Most Evil Movie Villain of All Times:

(2) Terminator – The Terminator

If I were walking down the street, this is the guy I would hate to see ahead of me.  You may be smarter than Leatherface, stronger than Catherine Tramell and quicker than Jason Voorhees, but you just know that if you see the Terminator coming your way, you’re about as good as dead.  There is no begging, no bargaining, no fighting and no running.  If the Terminator wants you dead and you have anything short of a bazooka, you’re dead.  And truth be told, that will only delay the inevitable.

The Terminators only mission is to destroy life.  Period.  He doesn’t need humans to amuse him.  He doesn’t even need the earth to sustain him.  He doesn’t want revenge, he doesn’t want to feel better, he doesn’t want to be soothed.  He has no other motive than destruction.  That’s pure evil.  That’s the most evil movie villain ever imagined.

Beaze and all his crazy antics, featured articles and random thoughts are now on twitter @Beazewriter

Popularity: 7% [?]

We took 64 of the meanest and nastiest movie villains ever created and brought them together for a no holds-barred tournament, to find out who is the evilest villain of all times.  For rules and details about the selection process click here.

ROUND 1: Northeast Region

ROUND 1: Northwest Region

ROUND 1: Southeast Region

ROUND 1: Southwest Region

ROUND 2: East Region

ROUND 2: West Region

SWEET 16: East Region

SWEET 16: West Region

ELITE 8

FINAL FOUR: East Region

Click image to see an enlarge bracket.

The Terminator is laying is wait, red-eyes-a-glowing to see who he will face in the championship.  Let’s not keep that evil bucket of bolts waiting.

VS.

(1) Joker – The Dark Knight

(1) Freddy Krueger – A Nightmare on Elm Street.

Battle: Who didn’t know it was going to come down to the battle of these two juggernauts?  Exactly.  The evil tale of the tape speaks for itself.  As far as Joker goes, Alfred said it best:

“Some men aren’t looking for anything logical, like money. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.”

And then there’s Freddy Krueger…a man (or dream demon) who just wanted to watch children burn.  Neither of them was looking for anything logical.  Just good sport.  Murder was a game to them.  I’m not really going to be able to find any distinguishable faults with either ones evil tendencies, so it’s going to come down to who did evil the best.  Freddy came up with some pretty elaborate ways to kill his victims, most notably, the time he scrapped his nails on a chalkboard until the child’s head exploded.

The Joker, however, organized a bank heist just so he could convince each of the bandits to kill each other (including sending one after himself) just so he could prove to the mob he was meaner than they are.

Okay, we could go back and forth for days, so let’s just cut the tendon on Freddy Krueger’s Achilles heel: if you’re not afraid of Freddy, he can’t really hurt you.  In fact, that was the whole premise of Freddy vs. Jason and many other Nightmare on Elm Street movies.  I don’t care how much you may think clowns are weak and funny…the Joker will still kill you the same.

Winner: The Joker

Click image to see an enlarged bracket.

Next up, the grand finale.  We will find out exactly who is, the most evil movie villain of all times.

Beaze and all his crazy antics, featured articles and random thoughts are now on twitter @Beazewriter

Popularity: 5% [?]

We took 64 of the meanest and nastiest movie villains ever created and brought them together for a no holds-barred tournament, to find out who is the evilest villain of all times.  For rules and details about the selection process click here.

ROUND 1: Northeast Region

Click image to see an enlarged bracket.

Only 8 matchups into the tournament and we already have surprises.  Not only did the Creeper (Jeepers Creepers) come out of nowhere and take down Jack Nicholson’s famous characters from the Shining, but we also had Gordon Gekko and the current economy redefine what it means to be evil.  What can we expect in the Northwest region?  Let’s find out.

VS.

(1) The Joker – the Dark Knight: Burned down a warehouse with Batman’s girl inside after making him believe he could save her.

(16) Bricktop – Snatch: ordered a house burned down with someone’s mother inside.

Winner: This is a blow out.  Joker by a mile.  Bricktop ordered a lot of stuff, but he did nothing.  He’s lucky to be invited to this dance.

VS.

(7) General Thade – Planet of the Apes: Enslaves the entire race of man.

(10) Ghostface – Scream: Stabbed dozens of horny teens to avenge his scorned mother.

Winner: The scream team (remember there were two) terrorized a small little town in the boonies.  General Thade enslaved and terrorized all of humankind, even killing his own apes if they stood in his way.  General Thade gets the nod.

VS.

(5) Jigsaw – Saw: Locked people into deadly traps and watched them torture themselves attempting to escape.

(12) Peyton Flanders – The Hand that Rocked the Cradle: Locked someone else’s baby in a room and breastfed him.

Winner:  This is a battle of the psychological villains.  Both were triggered by a tragic past, but Peyton Flanders has a slight edge because she tormented people and then did her own dirty work to keep it secret.  Jigsaw never killed his victims.  He was a coward.  Upset.  Peyton wins!

VS.

(8) Simon Pheonix – Demonlition Man: Notorious for his incredibly evil haircut.

(9) Headless Horeman – Sleepy Hollow: Notorious for his incredibly evil head cuts.

Winner: Interestingly enough both men were mentally controlled by a rich snob.  the difference is that Simon Pheonix couldn’t have been happier causing destruction and mayhem while the Headless Horseman just wanted to rest in the afterlife.  Advantage Simon Phoenix.

VS.

(4) Chucky – Child’s Play: A creepy old man, pretending to be a child so he can get inside a little boy’s body.

(13) Ivan Drago – Rocky IV: Beat Carl Weathers to death and said, “if he dies, he dies.”

Winner: Drago was a mean mutha f—–, but he didn’t intend to murder Rocky’s friend, he was just cold as ice when it happened.  Chucky is one evil son-of-a-b—-.  Next!  Chucky wins.

VS.

(3) Norman Bates – Psycho: Owns a motel in the middle of nowhere and murdered the woman who dared to stay the night.

(14) Alex Forrest – Fatal Attraction: She boiled a f— rabbit.  Alive.

Winner: Who’s the bigger psycho?  Well Norman Bates became his mother and killed multiple people while Alex Forrest…boiled a rabbit.  This isn’t a PETA contest.  Bates wins.  I mean the title of his movie is Psycho people.

VS.

(6) Tyler Durden – Fight Club: He set himself up to have his balls chopped off.

(11) Max Cady – Cape Fear: Bit the face off a woman he was raping.

Winner: What would Tyler Durden do in this competition?  Not a damn thing.  His rage was against the machine, not the people.  His terror wasn’t terror at all.  Max Cady bite the face off a lady he was raping.  That’s f—in’ evil.  Max Cady moves on.

VS.

(2) Dracula – Brom Stoker’s Dracula: Duh.  Murders his victims by draining their blood then curses them to become vampires.

(15) Maleficent – Sleeping Beauty: Cursed a baby to prick her finger and die.

Winner: It’s the battle of the supernaturally scary, but the question is who did the most evil?  On one hand Dracula has killed more people than he could count, but it was out of hunger and he seems capable of love and compassion.  Maleficent may not have killed anyone on record, but she only loves herself, everyone else is expendable.

…

I’m really torn.

…

Wow.

…

My gut says that Maleficent’s heart is blacker.  Holy smokes.  Maleficent wins.

Click image to see an enlarged bracket.

SOUTHEAST REGION AHEAD —->

Beaze and all his crazy antics, featured articles and random thoughts are now on twitter @Beazewriter

Popularity: 8% [?]